FF Summary

From UtterChaos
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The following is from some post or letter on RPGamer. It was a long time ago and I don't totally remember who posted it. If it was you, drop us an email or something.

Here you go:

I hope Axem 5 is happy. Any inaccuracies will be met with pleas of "I wrote it at 1:00 AM foor chrissakes."

I

Garland: I, Garland will knock you all down!

Guy in Red Armor: No you won't.

*He doesn't*

Garland: How about if I went back in time?

Guy with Big Hat: Yeah, that'd work.

*Chaos kills everyone*

II

Frionel: I'm Frionel, from the Kingdom of Fun!

Player: I spent eighty bucks importing this?

III

Onion Kid: I'm an onion kid!

Player: Screw this, I'm gonna go play Grand Theft Auto.

IV

Cecil: I'm a dark knight with a heart of gold.

*Kain betrays Cecil*

*A Party Member Dies, and then quickly returns*

Cecil: Now I'm a paladin with a stained soul.

*Kain betrays Cecil*

*A Party Member Dies, and then quickly returns*

Cecil: Now I'm an lunarian with a legacy of sorrow.

*Kain betrays Cecil*

*A Party Member Dies, and then quickly returns*

V

Lenna: I'm a princess!

Faris: I'm a princess! Y'arr!

Galuf: I'm not a princess, but I-

*Galuf Dies*

Cara: I'm a princess from another dimension!

Bartz: Better. Come, let us beat up a large tree!

L/F/C: Huzzah!

VI

Terra: I'm a mysterious yet lovable anime-styled character with a sorrowful past, raging against an evil empire.

L/E/S/C/S/C/S/S/R/M/G/U: Why, what a coincidence! So are we!

Terra: Let us create the archetype that for every RPG for the next eight years!

*They do. It totally rules.*

VII

Cloud: Bitch bitch bitch bitch bitch bitch bitch bitch bitch bitch bitch bitch bitch

Aeris: Alas, I am dead!

Cloud: Aw, man.

Sephiroth: Nyah nyah, you can't kill me.

*He does*

*Holy kills everyone*

VIII

Quistis: I love you, Squall!

Squall: Whatever.

*Bizarre and ultimately pointless flashback*

Rinoa: Me too! I love you Squall!

Squall: Whatever.

*Faye Wong product placement*

Seifer: You are kind of cute, you know.

IX

Zidane: Why do I have a tail again?

Kuja: BECAUSE YOU ARE ... A PUPPET.

Zidane: Oh, cool.

*Steiner jumps up and down amusingly*

X

*Nothing happens of any great consequence. For 50 goddamned house.*

XI

*Player1 has logged on to the server*

SEPHIROT69: SOL ME PLEASE!!!!!!!111

sxxxymaj: will gmb 2 fhw for 66 fdga+5

SEPHIROT69: SOL ME PLEASE!!!!!!!111

Patsfan: wheres the nude code

SEPHIROT69: SOL ME PLEASE!!!!!!!111

SEPHIROT69: SOL ME PLEASE!!!!!!!111

*Player1 has logged off server*