<?xml version="1.0"?>
<feed xmlns="http://www.w3.org/2005/Atom" xml:lang="en">
	<id>https://wiki.utter-chaos.net/ucwiki/api.php?action=feedcontributions&amp;feedformat=atom&amp;user=Ubernerd</id>
	<title>UtterChaos - User contributions [en]</title>
	<link rel="self" type="application/atom+xml" href="https://wiki.utter-chaos.net/ucwiki/api.php?action=feedcontributions&amp;feedformat=atom&amp;user=Ubernerd"/>
	<link rel="alternate" type="text/html" href="https://wiki.utter-chaos.net/ucwiki/index.php?title=Special:Contributions/Ubernerd"/>
	<updated>2026-05-10T15:36:21Z</updated>
	<subtitle>User contributions</subtitle>
	<generator>MediaWiki 1.43.6</generator>
	<entry>
		<id>https://wiki.utter-chaos.net/ucwiki/index.php?title=Lemon_Pound_Cake_With_Persian_Sweet_Lemons&amp;diff=17030</id>
		<title>Lemon Pound Cake With Persian Sweet Lemons</title>
		<link rel="alternate" type="text/html" href="https://wiki.utter-chaos.net/ucwiki/index.php?title=Lemon_Pound_Cake_With_Persian_Sweet_Lemons&amp;diff=17030"/>
		<updated>2026-03-24T18:14:27Z</updated>

		<summary type="html">&lt;p&gt;Ubernerd: &lt;/p&gt;
&lt;hr /&gt;
&lt;div&gt;Based loosely on the Serious Eats Lemon Pound Cake recipe. Enjoy alongside this [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9xxK5yyecRo video]&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
Ingredients:&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
Cake:&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
- 2 sticks of butter (softened)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
- 200g sugar&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
- 198g cake flour (or 198g regular flour, take out 3 tbsp of it and replace with 3tbsp cornstarch)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
- 1 tsp baking powder&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
- 4 eggs (room temp)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
- 1 tsp vanilla extract&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
- 0.5 tsp salt&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
- 30ml (2 tbsp) milk or heavy cream&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
- Zest of 2 Persian lemons (about 2tbsp)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
- 1 tbsp Persian lemon juice&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
Sizzurp:&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
- 1/4 cup white sugar&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
- 1/8 cup Persian lemon juice&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
- 1/8 cup regular lemon juice&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
Glaze:&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
- 1/2 cup powdered sugar&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
- scant 1 tbsp Persian lemon juice&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
Make the cake:&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
1) Get 3 bowls and a stand mixer. Preheat oven to 350. Line a 9x3 baking loaf pan&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
2) In the biggest bowl put the sugar and the lemon zest together. Rub it with your fingers for like 30 seconds until it gets fragrant. Set it aside.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
3) In the second biggest bowl, sift the flour and the baking powder together&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
4) In the smallest bowl, crack 4 eggs and beat them together with the vanilla until combined&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
5) In the stand mixer, cream the butter with the salt on medium-high until it&#039;s real nice and whippy light (about 2-3 min)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
6) Reduce the speed and gradually pour in all the lemon-sugar. When it&#039;s all in, crank back up to medium-high and whip until it&#039;s light (5-8 min)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
7) Reduce he speed and trickle in the egg mixture. Then crank the speed back up to medium high and beat for 5 min (it&#039;ll look a little messy and separate but that&#039;s fine)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
8) Turn down the speed. Add 1/3 of the flour mixture. When it&#039;s just incorporated, add milk and lemon juice and let it incorporate. Then add the rest of the flour 1/3  at a time.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
9) Turn up the speed to medium and mix just until the mixture is smooth.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
10) Spread batter into the pan. Bake for 1 hour (if the top of the cake gets real dark before it&#039;s done baking, tent with tinfoil at the latter half of baking time)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
While the cake is baking, make the sizzurp:&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
1) Add lemon juices and sugar into a pan. Heat up on medium high and let simmer for 2 min. Set aside.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
2) When the cake comes out of the oven, cool for 10 min on rack before lifting out of the pan while it&#039;s still hot).&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
3) Brush sizzurp all over top and sides of cake generously.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
When the cake is all cool, make the glaze:&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
1) Mix powdered sugar and juice together.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
2) Pour on top of cake, letting it run down the sides in a picturesque fashion.&lt;/div&gt;</summary>
		<author><name>Ubernerd</name></author>
	</entry>
	<entry>
		<id>https://wiki.utter-chaos.net/ucwiki/index.php?title=Lemon_Pound_Cake_With_Persian_Sweet_Lemons&amp;diff=17029</id>
		<title>Lemon Pound Cake With Persian Sweet Lemons</title>
		<link rel="alternate" type="text/html" href="https://wiki.utter-chaos.net/ucwiki/index.php?title=Lemon_Pound_Cake_With_Persian_Sweet_Lemons&amp;diff=17029"/>
		<updated>2026-03-24T18:10:14Z</updated>

		<summary type="html">&lt;p&gt;Ubernerd: &lt;/p&gt;
&lt;hr /&gt;
&lt;div&gt;Based loosely on the Serious Eats Lemon Pound Cake recipe. Enjoy alongside this [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9xxK5yyecRo video]&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
Ingredients:&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
Cake:&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
- 2 sticks of butter (softened)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
- 200g sugar&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
- 198g cake flour (or 198g regular flour, take out 3 tbsp of it and replace with 3tbsp cornstarch)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
- 1 tsp baking powder&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
- 4 eggs (room temp)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
- 1 tsp vanilla extract&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
- 0.5 tsp salt&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
- 30ml (2 tbsp) milk or heavy cream&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
- Zest of 2 Persian lemons (about 2tbsp)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
- 1 tbsp Persian lemon juice&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
Sizzurp:&lt;br /&gt;
- 1/4 cup white sugar&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
- 1/8 cup Persian lemon juice&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
- 1/8 cup regular lemon juice&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
Glaze:&lt;br /&gt;
- 1/2 cup powdered sugar&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
- scant 1 tbsp Persian lemon juice&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
Make the cake:&lt;br /&gt;
1) Get 3 bowls and a stand mixer. Preheat oven to 350. Line a 9x3 baking loaf pan&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
2) In the biggest bowl put the sugar and the lemon zest together. Rub it with your fingers for like 30 seconds until it gets fragrant. Set it aside.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
3) In the second biggest bowl, sift the flour and the baking powder together&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
4) In the smallest bowl, crack 4 eggs and beat them together with the vanilla until combined&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
5) In the stand mixer, cream the butter with the salt on medium-high until it&#039;s real nice and whippy light (about 2-3 min)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
6) Reduce the speed and gradually pour in all the lemon-sugar. When it&#039;s all in, crank back up to medium-high and whip until it&#039;s light (5-8 min)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
7) Reduce he speed and trickle in the egg mixture. Then crank the speed back up to medium high and beat for 5 min (it&#039;ll look a little messy and separate but that&#039;s fine)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
8) Turn down the speed. Add 1/3 of the flour mixture. When it&#039;s just incorporated, add milk and lemon juice and let it incorporate. Then add the rest of the flour 1/3  at a time.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
9) Turn up the speed to medium and mix just until the mixture is smooth.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
10) Spread batter into the pan. Bake for 1 hour (if the top of the cake gets real dark before it&#039;s done baking, tent with tinfoil at the latter half of baking time)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
While the cake is baking, make the sizzurp:&lt;br /&gt;
1) Add lemon juices and sugar into a pan. Heat up on medium high and let simmer for 2 min. Set aside.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
2) When the cake comes out of the oven, cool for 10 min on rack before lifting out of the pan while it&#039;s still hot).&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
3) Brush sizzurp all over top and sides of cake generously.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
When the cake is all cool, make the glaze:&lt;br /&gt;
1) Mix powdered sugar and juice together.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
2) Pour on top of cake, letting it run down the sides in a picturesque fashion.&lt;/div&gt;</summary>
		<author><name>Ubernerd</name></author>
	</entry>
	<entry>
		<id>https://wiki.utter-chaos.net/ucwiki/index.php?title=Lemon_Pound_Cake_With_Persian_Sweet_Lemons&amp;diff=17028</id>
		<title>Lemon Pound Cake With Persian Sweet Lemons</title>
		<link rel="alternate" type="text/html" href="https://wiki.utter-chaos.net/ucwiki/index.php?title=Lemon_Pound_Cake_With_Persian_Sweet_Lemons&amp;diff=17028"/>
		<updated>2026-03-24T18:09:58Z</updated>

		<summary type="html">&lt;p&gt;Ubernerd: Created page with &amp;quot;Based loosely on the Serious Eats Lemon Pound Cake recipe. Enjoy alongside this [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9xxK5yyecRo video]  Ingredients:  Cake:  - 2 sticks of butter (softened)  - 200g sugar  - 198g cake flour (or 198g regular flour, take out 3 tbsp of it and replace with 3tbsp cornstarch)  - 1 tsp baking powder  - 4 eggs (room temp)  - 1 tsp vanilla extract  - 0.5 tsp salt  - 30ml (2 tbsp) milk or heavy cream  - Zest of 2 Persian lemons (about 2tbsp)  - 1 tbsp...&amp;quot;&lt;/p&gt;
&lt;hr /&gt;
&lt;div&gt;Based loosely on the Serious Eats Lemon Pound Cake recipe. Enjoy alongside this [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9xxK5yyecRo video]&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
Ingredients:&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
Cake:&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
- 2 sticks of butter (softened)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
- 200g sugar&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
- 198g cake flour (or 198g regular flour, take out 3 tbsp of it and replace with 3tbsp cornstarch)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
- 1 tsp baking powder&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
- 4 eggs (room temp)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
- 1 tsp vanilla extract&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
- 0.5 tsp salt&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
- 30ml (2 tbsp) milk or heavy cream&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
- Zest of 2 Persian lemons (about 2tbsp)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
- 1 tbsp Persian lemon juice&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
Sizzurp:&lt;br /&gt;
- 1/4 cup white sugar&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
- 1/8 cup Persian lemon juice&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
- 1/8 cup regular lemon juice&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
Glaze:&lt;br /&gt;
- 1/2 cup powdered sugar&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
- scant 1 tbsp Persian lemon juice&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
Make the cake:&lt;br /&gt;
1) Get 3 bowls and a stand mixer. Preheat oven to 350. Line a 9x3 baking loaf pan&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
2) In the biggest bowl put the sugar and the lemon zest together. Rub it with your fingers for like 30 seconds until it gets fragrant. Set it aside.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
3) In the second biggest bowl, sift the flour and the baking powder together&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
4) In the smallest bowl, crack 4 eggs and beat them together with the vanilla until combined&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
5) In the stand mixer, cream the butter with the salt on medium-high until it&#039;s real nice and whippy light (about 2-3 min)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
6) Reduce the speed and gradually pour in all the lemon-sugar. When it&#039;s all in, crank back up to medium-high and whip until it&#039;s light (5-8 min)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
7) Reduce he speed and trickle in the egg mixture. Then crank the speed back up to medium high and beat for 5 min (it&#039;ll look a little messy and separate but that&#039;s fine)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
8) Turn down the speed. Add 1/3 of the flour mixture. When it&#039;s just incorporated, add milk and lemon juice and let it incorporate. Then add the rest of the flour 1/3  at a time.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
9) Turn up the speed to medium and mix just until the mixture is smooth.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
10) Spread batter into the pan. Bake for 1 hour (if the top of the cake gets real dark before it&#039;s done baking, tent with tinfoil at the latter half of baking time)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
While the cake is baking, make the sizzurp:&lt;br /&gt;
1) Add lemon juices and sugar into a pan. Heat up on medium high and let simmer for 2 min. Set aside.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
2) When the cake comes out of the oven, cool for 10 min on rack before lifting out of the pan while it&#039;s still hot).&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
3) Brush sizzurp all over top and sides of cake generously.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
When the cake is all cool, make the glaze:&lt;br /&gt;
1) Mix powdered sugar and juice together.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
2) Pour on top of cake, letting it run down the sides in a picturesque fashion.&lt;/div&gt;</summary>
		<author><name>Ubernerd</name></author>
	</entry>
	<entry>
		<id>https://wiki.utter-chaos.net/ucwiki/index.php?title=The_Ghetto_Gourmet&amp;diff=17027</id>
		<title>The Ghetto Gourmet</title>
		<link rel="alternate" type="text/html" href="https://wiki.utter-chaos.net/ucwiki/index.php?title=The_Ghetto_Gourmet&amp;diff=17027"/>
		<updated>2026-03-24T17:50:03Z</updated>

		<summary type="html">&lt;p&gt;Ubernerd: &lt;/p&gt;
&lt;hr /&gt;
&lt;div&gt;Welcome to The Ghetto Gourmet; a repository for the recipes that require quantifiable measurements I actually need to look up... and then some experimental stuff in development.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
BUT BEFORE YOU BEGIN, click [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=r9uOQTcDURU&amp;amp;feature=use here]&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
The recipes denoted with an asterisk (*) are considered &amp;quot;Recipes for the Extra Ghetto&amp;quot; and people with little time/skill to devote to preparing healthy meals.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
Per a recent request, I&#039;ve added a section for [[User:Zahnnie|Zahnnie]] (who played a part in The Ghetto Gourmet through the college years) called &amp;quot;Zahnnie&#039;s High-Fallutin&#039; Fancy-Pants Cookin&#039; Section&amp;quot; which is where her collection of &amp;quot;recipes made to impress people&amp;quot; is located. [[User:Zahnnie|Zahnnie]]&#039;s specialty is Moroccan cuisine, and she likes to cook things in her &amp;lt;s&amp;gt;vagine&amp;lt;/s&amp;gt; tagine.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[User:Caryatid|Caryatid]] included an awesome dietary analysis on one of my recipes which I thought added a lot of value. Unfortunately, I don&#039;t have the time to go through each and every recipe and analyze it in through detail, so I have now added simple assicon scaling as an easy way for people to tell which recipes are healthy here and which are... less so. Please refer to the following scale:&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
(!) - Skinny ass. Denotes recipes that would be good as part of a diet for people who are health-conscious or trying to lose weight. Relatively guilt-free eating.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
(_!_) - Normal ass. Denotes recipes that are generally healthy, and meant to be enjoyed regularly.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
(__!__) - Desk ass. Denotes recipes that should probably be enjoyed in moderation, lest you get desk ass.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
x_x - Heart attack. Okay, I know this isn&#039;t technically an assicon, but it&#039;s more accurate than saying &amp;quot;wide load&amp;quot;. Denotes recipes that I would recommend busting out as special treats, because including them as a regular staple in your diet will probably give you a heart attack.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
==Savory Food==&lt;br /&gt;
[[Homemade Gyoza and Wontons]]* (_!_)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Miso Soup]]* (!)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Ghetto-Fantastic Ramen]]* (_!_)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Fried Rice]]* (_!_)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Chicken Pot Pie From Scratch]] (__!__)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Rosemary and Honey Salmon]]* (!)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Beef with Barley Soup]]* (_!_)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Chicken Soup/Plague Remedy]]* (!)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Spicy Ravioli Soup]]* (!)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Rice Porridge/Pukes And Shits Remedy]]* (!)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[&amp;quot;Porchetta Italiana&amp;quot; - Dirty Eye-talian Style Pork Loin]] (_!_)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Eggplant Parmesan]] (__!__)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Bruschetta with Salted Tomatoes]]* (!)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Shredded &amp;quot;Hash Brown&amp;quot; Potato Pile]]* (__!__)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Matar Paneer]] (!)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Paneer Korma]] (_!_)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Kickass Homemade Malaysian Lamb Curry]] (_!_)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Malaysian Chicken Curry that I Made While In AZ]] (_!_)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Improvements on Asian Home Gourmet&#039;s Laksa Recipe]] (_!_)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[That Tasty Pot Roast That I Threw Up Behind Jim&#039;s Tent During The 2007 GNE War]] (_!_)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Moroccan-Spiced Stuffed Mushrooms]]* (_!_)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Salmon in a Puff Pastry Shell]]* (_!_)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Cheese &#039;Tatoes]]* x_x&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Ghetto Cheese Ravioli with Chicken and Pesto Sauce]]* (_!_)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Ghetto Wonton-Noodle Soup]]* (_!_)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Creamy Carrot Soup]] (_!_)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Coconut Chicken Soup]] (_!_)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Ginger and Scallion Steamed Fish]] (!)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Ghetto-Fabulous Ma Po Tofu]] (_!_)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Tea Eggs]] (!)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[&amp;quot;Funky Chinese Herb&amp;quot; Stew]] (_!_)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Toss]]* (__!__)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Why-I-Am-Going-To-Hell Spinach]] (!)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Bill of Larder from the 2008 GNE War, Courtesy of Vance, Thunder Mountain&#039;s Favorite Camp Cookie]] x_x&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Creamy Vegetable-Rice Soup/Fake Risotto]] (_!_)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Tasty Nasi Goreng made with Bamboe&#039;s Nasi Goreng spices]] (_!_)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Penang Curry with Basil]] (_!_)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Daikon Cake]] (_!_)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Heavenly Ghettalian Spaghetti Sauce]] (!)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[See Krong Tord Gratium (Thai style Pork Spareribs with Crispy Garlic and Pepper)]] (__!__)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Takrite Goong (Lemongrass Sticks with Minced Chicken, Prawns, and Pork)]] (__!__)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Salmon and Spinach Quiche (aka &amp;quot;Quiche So Good, She&#039;ll Pretty Much Have To Put Out&amp;quot;)]] x_x&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Ghetto-Fabulous Spicy Tuna a la Waldrop]]* (!)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Panko-Breaded Fish with Ginger Sauce]] (_!_)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Black Bean Sauce Pork Roast, Courtesy of Marti]] (_!_)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Flippin&#039; Sweet Spinach Dip]] x_x&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Chicken and Corn Risotto (warning: not for cooks who are ADD)]] (_!_)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Thai Pickles]] (!)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Moderately Nutritious Taco Salad]] (!)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Sexy Homemade Tater Tots]] (!)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[&amp;quot;Toss My&amp;quot; Salad]] (!)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Chicken Turnovers]] (_!_)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[The Cafe Congress&#039; &amp;quot;Heartbreaker&amp;quot; Plate]] x_x&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Beef Stew]] (_!_)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Efficient Broccoli &amp;amp; Rice]]* (!)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Holy-Crap-Good Cornbread]]* (!)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Poky Salad]]* (!)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Cafe-Style Chicken &amp;amp; Broccoli Alfredo]]* x_x&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Lo Mai Gai (Lotus-wrapped Chicken with Sticky Rice)]] (_!_)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Soup for a Sick Day]]&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Ghetto-Fraiche Lemon Tofu]]* (_!_)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Ghetto Coconut Noodle Soup]]* (_!_)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Take Me to Your Mama&#039;s for Rice &amp;amp; Beans]]&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Cruelty-free Bolognese Sauce]]&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Fake Thai Veggies]]&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Hoity Toity Farm-to-Table Frittata]]&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Total Flex-Cooking Lasagna From Scratch]]... but it&#039;s only mad flexin&#039; if you make it on a weeknight after work and don&#039;t start cooking until after 7pm.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Bagels from that stupid fucking long recipe]]&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Definitive Brisket Recipe]]&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Lotus Root Soup]]&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Barb&#039;s Scalloped Potatoes are F*cked!]]&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Decorative Gourd Seasonal Dish]]&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Chicken and Dumplings]]&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Sausage Bean and Kale Soup]]&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Beanz from Scratch]]&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Albondigas, No shortcuts]]&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Arroz Rojo]]&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
==Dessert==&lt;br /&gt;
[[Pie Crust]] (__!__)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Blackberry-Blueberry Pie]] (_!_)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Apple Pie]] (_!_)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Peach Pie with Star Anise]] (_!_)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Ginger Ice Cream]] (_!_)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Basil Ice Cream]] (_!_)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Krapp (Flambe)]] (__!__)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Dark Chocolate Cake]] (__!__)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Litterbox Cake]] (__!__)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Emme&#039;s Rum Balls]] (_!_)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Arschwein-Cookies]] (_!_)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Father-Hating-and-Shame Cookies]] (_!_)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Goth-Flavored Banana Bread]] (!)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[The Best Carrot Cake Ever, According to Two California Hippies]] (!)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Sun-Ripened Mixed New Galen Field Browns]] (_!_)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Bienenstich]] x_x&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Pandan-Banana Cake]] (_!_)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Delicious Fiber Bomb Bars]]* (!)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Hilary&#039;s Plum Torte]] (_!_)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Chocolate Oatmeal Cake]] (_!_)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Baked Apple-Thing]] (__!__)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Amanda&#039;s Mom&#039;s Cake]] (Red Velvet Cake filled with Grand Marnier-soaked Strawberries, covered in Homemade Creamcheese Frosting, Coconut and Almond Flakes) x_x&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Horror at Pompeii (Rice Krispy Treats)]]* (__!__)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Perfect 10 Legendary Munchies-Satisfying Cranberry Chocolate Chip Muffins]] (__!__)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Hello Kitty Cake Pops]]&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Ghetto Microwave Mochi]]&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Baked Raw Cookie Dough]]&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[French Macarons]] (__!__)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Buttercream]] (__!__)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Cranberry Orange Muffins, Jesse Pinkman method]]&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[B&#039;norange Banana Cake]]&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Rose &amp;amp; Herbes de Provence Olive Oil Cake]]&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[But It&#039;s Not Salad Cake]]&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Chocolate Babkallah]]&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Shokupan, bitches!]]&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Rosemary Brown Butter Apple Cake]]&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Lemon Curd Mousse Cake]]&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Sticky Toffee Jujube Pudding]]&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[One-Ramekin Apple Crisp]]&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Lemon Pound Cake With Persian Sweet Lemons]] - made in honor of the Afroman defamation lawsuit verdict&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
==Drinkies==&lt;br /&gt;
[[Tears of Baby Jesus]] (_!_)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Rear of Baby Jesus]] (_!_)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Amaretto Smoothie]] (__!__)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Official Recipe for a Lady DiSaronno]] (_!_)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Dirty Hippie Blackberry-Mango Smoothie]] (!)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[How-I-Got-Registered-To-Vote-In-Cambridge Smoothie]] (!)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Vegan-Friendly Version of the How-I-Got-Registered-To-Vote-In-Cambridge Smoothie]] (!)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Coconut-Pandan Daiquiri]] (Creamy and yet dairy-free! For those of you who don&#039;t want your lactose intolerance flaring up and adding to the morning-after beer shits.) (__!__)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Eggnog (Johnson Family Recipe)]] (__!__)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Roger&#039;s Appletinis]] (!)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Spiced Pear]] (!)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Izzy&#039;s XXX Road Soda]] (!)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Courtney Love]] (!)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Izzy&#039;s Bloody Mary]]&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Cheapo Fruity Mimosa]] (!)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Poolside Sangria]] (!)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Tranny Chaser]]&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[The Main Event Cosmos]]&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Chai Sizzurp]]&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
&#039;&#039;&#039;&amp;lt;u&amp;gt;Le Bunghole Homebrews:&amp;lt;/u&amp;gt;&#039;&#039;&#039;&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Arschwein Beta Version]] (_!_)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Arschwein Version 1.0]] (_!_)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[&amp;quot;Djarum Black&amp;quot; Mead Beta Version]] (_!_)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[The Award-Winning Gargamel]] (_!_)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Infamous Bathtub Mead|Infamous Bathtub Mead (latest recipe has moved here until further notice)]] (_!_)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Viking Breakfast (Bacon Acerglyn)]] (_!_)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
==Misc==&lt;br /&gt;
[[Awesome Fake Satay Sauce]] (_!_)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Mutie&#039;s Honey Butter Recipe]] x_x&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[&amp;quot;Special Sauce&amp;quot;]] x_x&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Guacamole]] (_!_)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Tzatziki]] (!)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Extra-salty Soy-Garlic Marinade]] (__!__)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Extra-salty Soy-Ginger Marinade]] (__!__)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Creamy Fake Vomit]] x_x&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[How To Make a Bacon Candle]] x_x&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Oatmeal-Raisin Cardboard]] (!)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Homemade Turkey Broth]] (_!_)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Bizkits]]* (_!_)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Maple 5-Spice Squash Seeds]]&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
==Zahnnie&#039;s High-Fallutin&#039; Fancy-Pants Cookin&#039; Section==&lt;br /&gt;
With the recipes that follow, you will be able to easily convince your family and friends that you are a totally awesome cook, when in fact you&#039;re just making it up as you go. Never reveal this crucial secret.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[GGZ_Baked Potato Soup | Baked Potato Soup]] so good you just may cream your pants.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[GGZ_Moroccan Lamb | Moroccan Lamb Tagine]]&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[GGZ_Gnocchi | Homemade Gnocchi]]&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[GGZ_SausageLeekRagu | Sausage and Leek Ragu]] to go with the gnocchis. Mmm.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[GGZ_SausageLeekSoup | Sausage and Leek Soup]] inspired by the ragu. For the crockpot for extra laziness!&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[GGZ_Boozesicles | Boozesicles]] made especially by the lovely Zahnnie for Ubernerd&#039;s Tarts &#039;n Vicars/Good-Decisions party&lt;/div&gt;</summary>
		<author><name>Ubernerd</name></author>
	</entry>
	<entry>
		<id>https://wiki.utter-chaos.net/ucwiki/index.php?title=Albondigas,_No_shortcuts&amp;diff=17026</id>
		<title>Albondigas, No shortcuts</title>
		<link rel="alternate" type="text/html" href="https://wiki.utter-chaos.net/ucwiki/index.php?title=Albondigas,_No_shortcuts&amp;diff=17026"/>
		<updated>2026-02-17T06:00:03Z</updated>

		<summary type="html">&lt;p&gt;Ubernerd: &lt;/p&gt;
&lt;hr /&gt;
&lt;div&gt;Another installment in my Insufferable Le Creuset series of vat o&#039; food recipes.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
Ingredients:&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
For meatballs:&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
- 2 lbs fatty ground beef&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
- 1/2 bunch cilantro chopped)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
- 3/4 onion (chopped)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
- 1 tsp chili powder&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
- 1 tsp cumin&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
- 2 tsp oregano&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
- Salt &#039;n pepa&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
- 2 eggs&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
- 1/2 cup raw rice&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
Soup base:&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
- 4 tomatoes (ripe on a vine, or roma)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
- 1/2 bunch of cilantro, chopped&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
- 1/4 onion (chopped)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
- 6 cloves garlic&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
- 1 tbsp tomato bouillon&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
- 1 tsp oregano&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
- 3 tsp chicken bouillon&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
- 4 cups water&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
Soup:&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
- 3 carrots&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
- 3 red potatoes&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
- 1 zucchini&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
- fresh or frozen corn&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
- 5 cups water&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
- 4 tsp chicken bouillon&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
- Salt &#039;n pepa&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
Start by making the meatballs: slop all the ingredients into a large bowl and mix it all together with your hands until evenly mixed. Roll into golf ball sized meatballs. Set aside.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
Next, make the soup base. In a food processor, put 1 cup of water, and all the rest of the ingredients. Whiz them until they are a nice liquid. Pour into your Le Creuset and act insufferably smug. Use the remaining 3 cups of water to rinse all the residue left in the food processor into the pot. Turn the heat on high.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
Add 5 more cups of water to the pot, plus 4 tsp chicken bouillon. When all of it starts boiling, gently slip the meatballs into the pot and simmer gently for 15 minutes (may need to turn down the heat). Dice up the potatoes and carrots, add into the pot, and cook another 15 min. Finally, add the sliced zucchini and corn and simmer for 10 minutes. Season with salt &#039;n pepa, then turn the heat off. Serve with [[Arroz Rojo]]&lt;/div&gt;</summary>
		<author><name>Ubernerd</name></author>
	</entry>
	<entry>
		<id>https://wiki.utter-chaos.net/ucwiki/index.php?title=Arroz_Rojo&amp;diff=17025</id>
		<title>Arroz Rojo</title>
		<link rel="alternate" type="text/html" href="https://wiki.utter-chaos.net/ucwiki/index.php?title=Arroz_Rojo&amp;diff=17025"/>
		<updated>2026-02-17T00:35:23Z</updated>

		<summary type="html">&lt;p&gt;Ubernerd: Created page with &amp;quot;Good for everything, but especially amazing with albondigas.  Ingredients:  2 tomatoes  1 clove garlic  1/4 onion (diced)  3 tbsp cooking oil  1.5 cups long grain rice  1/4 tsp salt  2 cups boiling water  1 tbsp chicken bouillon  1/2 tsp garlic powder  3 sprigs cilantro  Heat up the oil in a large heavy bottomed pan with a lid. Fry the onion and garlic until lightly browned. Remove the garlic from the pan. Add the rice into the pan and fry until lightly browned, and roas...&amp;quot;&lt;/p&gt;
&lt;hr /&gt;
&lt;div&gt;Good for everything, but especially amazing with albondigas.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
Ingredients:&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
2 tomatoes&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
1 clove garlic&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
1/4 onion (diced)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
3 tbsp cooking oil&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
1.5 cups long grain rice&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
1/4 tsp salt&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
2 cups boiling water&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
1 tbsp chicken bouillon&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
1/2 tsp garlic powder&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
3 sprigs cilantro&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
Heat up the oil in a large heavy bottomed pan with a lid. Fry the onion and garlic until lightly browned. Remove the garlic from the pan. Add the rice into the pan and fry until lightly browned, and roasty toasty. Meanwhile, whiz the 2 tomatoes and fried garlic in a food processor. When the rice is nice &#039;n toasty, add the chicken bouillon and garlic powder. Fry for another 30 seconds. Then pour the tomato sauce onto the toasted rice. Add the boiling water (use to rinse out the food processor if desired) and season with salt. Put the 3 sprigs of cilantro on top and then put the lid on. Turn heat down to low and cook for 20 minutes. Open up, fluff and taste. Leave lid on with the heat off for softer rice.&lt;/div&gt;</summary>
		<author><name>Ubernerd</name></author>
	</entry>
	<entry>
		<id>https://wiki.utter-chaos.net/ucwiki/index.php?title=Albondigas,_No_shortcuts&amp;diff=17024</id>
		<title>Albondigas, No shortcuts</title>
		<link rel="alternate" type="text/html" href="https://wiki.utter-chaos.net/ucwiki/index.php?title=Albondigas,_No_shortcuts&amp;diff=17024"/>
		<updated>2026-02-17T00:27:10Z</updated>

		<summary type="html">&lt;p&gt;Ubernerd: Created page with &amp;quot;Another installment in my Insufferable Le Creuset series of vat o&amp;#039; food recipes.  Ingredients:  For meatballs:  - 2 lbs fatty ground beef  - 1/2 bunch cilantro chopped)  - 3/4 onion (chopped)  - 1 tsp chili powder  - 1 tsp cumin  - 2 tsp oregano  - Salt &amp;#039;n pepa  - 2 eggs  - 1/2 cup raw rice   Soup base:  - 4 tomatoes (ripe on a vine, or roma)  - 1/2 bunch of cilantro, chopped  - 1/4 onion (chopped)  - 6 cloves garlic  - 1 tbsp tomato bouillon  - 1 tsp oregano  - 3 tsp ch...&amp;quot;&lt;/p&gt;
&lt;hr /&gt;
&lt;div&gt;Another installment in my Insufferable Le Creuset series of vat o&#039; food recipes.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
Ingredients:&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
For meatballs:&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
- 2 lbs fatty ground beef&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
- 1/2 bunch cilantro chopped)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
- 3/4 onion (chopped)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
- 1 tsp chili powder&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
- 1 tsp cumin&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
- 2 tsp oregano&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
- Salt &#039;n pepa&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
- 2 eggs&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
- 1/2 cup raw rice&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
Soup base:&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
- 4 tomatoes (ripe on a vine, or roma)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
- 1/2 bunch of cilantro, chopped&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
- 1/4 onion (chopped)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
- 6 cloves garlic&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
- 1 tbsp tomato bouillon&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
- 1 tsp oregano&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
- 3 tsp chicken bouillon&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
- 4 cups water&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
Soup:&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
- 3 carrots&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
- 3 red potatoes&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
- 1 zucchini&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
- fresh or frozen corn&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
- 5 cups water&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
- 4 tsp chicken bouillon&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
- Salt &#039;n pepa&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
Start by making the meatballs: slop all the ingredients into a large bowl and mix it all together with your hands until evenly mixed. Roll into golf ball sized meatballs. Set aside.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
In a food processor, put 1 cup of water, and all the rest of the ingredients. Whiz them until they are a nice liquid. Pour into your Le Creuset and act insufferably smug. Use the remaining 3 cups of water to rinse all the residue left in the food processor into the pot. Turn the heat on high.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
Add 5 more cups of water to the pot, plus 4 tsp chicken bouillon. When all of it starts boiling, gently slip the meatballs into the pot and simmer gently for 15 minutes (may need to turn down the heat). Dice up the potatoes and carrots, add into the pot, and cook another 15 min. Finally, add the sliced zucchini and corn and simmer for 10 minutes. Season with salt &#039;n pepa, then turn the heat off. Serve with [[Arroz Rojo]]&lt;/div&gt;</summary>
		<author><name>Ubernerd</name></author>
	</entry>
	<entry>
		<id>https://wiki.utter-chaos.net/ucwiki/index.php?title=The_Ghetto_Gourmet&amp;diff=17023</id>
		<title>The Ghetto Gourmet</title>
		<link rel="alternate" type="text/html" href="https://wiki.utter-chaos.net/ucwiki/index.php?title=The_Ghetto_Gourmet&amp;diff=17023"/>
		<updated>2026-02-17T00:11:57Z</updated>

		<summary type="html">&lt;p&gt;Ubernerd: /* Savory Food */&lt;/p&gt;
&lt;hr /&gt;
&lt;div&gt;Welcome to The Ghetto Gourmet; a repository for the recipes that require quantifiable measurements I actually need to look up... and then some experimental stuff in development.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
BUT BEFORE YOU BEGIN, click [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=r9uOQTcDURU&amp;amp;feature=use here]&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
The recipes denoted with an asterisk (*) are considered &amp;quot;Recipes for the Extra Ghetto&amp;quot; and people with little time/skill to devote to preparing healthy meals.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
Per a recent request, I&#039;ve added a section for [[User:Zahnnie|Zahnnie]] (who played a part in The Ghetto Gourmet through the college years) called &amp;quot;Zahnnie&#039;s High-Fallutin&#039; Fancy-Pants Cookin&#039; Section&amp;quot; which is where her collection of &amp;quot;recipes made to impress people&amp;quot; is located. [[User:Zahnnie|Zahnnie]]&#039;s specialty is Moroccan cuisine, and she likes to cook things in her &amp;lt;s&amp;gt;vagine&amp;lt;/s&amp;gt; tagine.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[User:Caryatid|Caryatid]] included an awesome dietary analysis on one of my recipes which I thought added a lot of value. Unfortunately, I don&#039;t have the time to go through each and every recipe and analyze it in through detail, so I have now added simple assicon scaling as an easy way for people to tell which recipes are healthy here and which are... less so. Please refer to the following scale:&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
(!) - Skinny ass. Denotes recipes that would be good as part of a diet for people who are health-conscious or trying to lose weight. Relatively guilt-free eating.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
(_!_) - Normal ass. Denotes recipes that are generally healthy, and meant to be enjoyed regularly.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
(__!__) - Desk ass. Denotes recipes that should probably be enjoyed in moderation, lest you get desk ass.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
x_x - Heart attack. Okay, I know this isn&#039;t technically an assicon, but it&#039;s more accurate than saying &amp;quot;wide load&amp;quot;. Denotes recipes that I would recommend busting out as special treats, because including them as a regular staple in your diet will probably give you a heart attack.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
==Savory Food==&lt;br /&gt;
[[Homemade Gyoza and Wontons]]* (_!_)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Miso Soup]]* (!)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Ghetto-Fantastic Ramen]]* (_!_)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Fried Rice]]* (_!_)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Chicken Pot Pie From Scratch]] (__!__)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Rosemary and Honey Salmon]]* (!)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Beef with Barley Soup]]* (_!_)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Chicken Soup/Plague Remedy]]* (!)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Spicy Ravioli Soup]]* (!)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Rice Porridge/Pukes And Shits Remedy]]* (!)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[&amp;quot;Porchetta Italiana&amp;quot; - Dirty Eye-talian Style Pork Loin]] (_!_)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Eggplant Parmesan]] (__!__)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Bruschetta with Salted Tomatoes]]* (!)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Shredded &amp;quot;Hash Brown&amp;quot; Potato Pile]]* (__!__)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Matar Paneer]] (!)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Paneer Korma]] (_!_)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Kickass Homemade Malaysian Lamb Curry]] (_!_)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Malaysian Chicken Curry that I Made While In AZ]] (_!_)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Improvements on Asian Home Gourmet&#039;s Laksa Recipe]] (_!_)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[That Tasty Pot Roast That I Threw Up Behind Jim&#039;s Tent During The 2007 GNE War]] (_!_)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Moroccan-Spiced Stuffed Mushrooms]]* (_!_)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Salmon in a Puff Pastry Shell]]* (_!_)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Cheese &#039;Tatoes]]* x_x&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Ghetto Cheese Ravioli with Chicken and Pesto Sauce]]* (_!_)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Ghetto Wonton-Noodle Soup]]* (_!_)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Creamy Carrot Soup]] (_!_)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Coconut Chicken Soup]] (_!_)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Ginger and Scallion Steamed Fish]] (!)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Ghetto-Fabulous Ma Po Tofu]] (_!_)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Tea Eggs]] (!)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[&amp;quot;Funky Chinese Herb&amp;quot; Stew]] (_!_)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Toss]]* (__!__)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Why-I-Am-Going-To-Hell Spinach]] (!)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Bill of Larder from the 2008 GNE War, Courtesy of Vance, Thunder Mountain&#039;s Favorite Camp Cookie]] x_x&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Creamy Vegetable-Rice Soup/Fake Risotto]] (_!_)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Tasty Nasi Goreng made with Bamboe&#039;s Nasi Goreng spices]] (_!_)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Penang Curry with Basil]] (_!_)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Daikon Cake]] (_!_)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Heavenly Ghettalian Spaghetti Sauce]] (!)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[See Krong Tord Gratium (Thai style Pork Spareribs with Crispy Garlic and Pepper)]] (__!__)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Takrite Goong (Lemongrass Sticks with Minced Chicken, Prawns, and Pork)]] (__!__)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Salmon and Spinach Quiche (aka &amp;quot;Quiche So Good, She&#039;ll Pretty Much Have To Put Out&amp;quot;)]] x_x&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Ghetto-Fabulous Spicy Tuna a la Waldrop]]* (!)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Panko-Breaded Fish with Ginger Sauce]] (_!_)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Black Bean Sauce Pork Roast, Courtesy of Marti]] (_!_)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Flippin&#039; Sweet Spinach Dip]] x_x&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Chicken and Corn Risotto (warning: not for cooks who are ADD)]] (_!_)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Thai Pickles]] (!)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Moderately Nutritious Taco Salad]] (!)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Sexy Homemade Tater Tots]] (!)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[&amp;quot;Toss My&amp;quot; Salad]] (!)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Chicken Turnovers]] (_!_)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[The Cafe Congress&#039; &amp;quot;Heartbreaker&amp;quot; Plate]] x_x&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Beef Stew]] (_!_)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Efficient Broccoli &amp;amp; Rice]]* (!)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Holy-Crap-Good Cornbread]]* (!)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Poky Salad]]* (!)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Cafe-Style Chicken &amp;amp; Broccoli Alfredo]]* x_x&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Lo Mai Gai (Lotus-wrapped Chicken with Sticky Rice)]] (_!_)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Soup for a Sick Day]]&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Ghetto-Fraiche Lemon Tofu]]* (_!_)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Ghetto Coconut Noodle Soup]]* (_!_)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Take Me to Your Mama&#039;s for Rice &amp;amp; Beans]]&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Cruelty-free Bolognese Sauce]]&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Fake Thai Veggies]]&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Hoity Toity Farm-to-Table Frittata]]&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Total Flex-Cooking Lasagna From Scratch]]... but it&#039;s only mad flexin&#039; if you make it on a weeknight after work and don&#039;t start cooking until after 7pm.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Bagels from that stupid fucking long recipe]]&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Definitive Brisket Recipe]]&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Lotus Root Soup]]&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Barb&#039;s Scalloped Potatoes are F*cked!]]&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Decorative Gourd Seasonal Dish]]&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Chicken and Dumplings]]&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Sausage Bean and Kale Soup]]&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Beanz from Scratch]]&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Albondigas, No shortcuts]]&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Arroz Rojo]]&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
==Dessert==&lt;br /&gt;
[[Pie Crust]] (__!__)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Blackberry-Blueberry Pie]] (_!_)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Apple Pie]] (_!_)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Peach Pie with Star Anise]] (_!_)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Ginger Ice Cream]] (_!_)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Basil Ice Cream]] (_!_)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Krapp (Flambe)]] (__!__)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Dark Chocolate Cake]] (__!__)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Litterbox Cake]] (__!__)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Emme&#039;s Rum Balls]] (_!_)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Arschwein-Cookies]] (_!_)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Father-Hating-and-Shame Cookies]] (_!_)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Goth-Flavored Banana Bread]] (!)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[The Best Carrot Cake Ever, According to Two California Hippies]] (!)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Sun-Ripened Mixed New Galen Field Browns]] (_!_)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Bienenstich]] x_x&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Pandan-Banana Cake]] (_!_)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Delicious Fiber Bomb Bars]]* (!)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Hilary&#039;s Plum Torte]] (_!_)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Chocolate Oatmeal Cake]] (_!_)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Baked Apple-Thing]] (__!__)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Amanda&#039;s Mom&#039;s Cake]] (Red Velvet Cake filled with Grand Marnier-soaked Strawberries, covered in Homemade Creamcheese Frosting, Coconut and Almond Flakes) x_x&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Horror at Pompeii (Rice Krispy Treats)]]* (__!__)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Perfect 10 Legendary Munchies-Satisfying Cranberry Chocolate Chip Muffins]] (__!__)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Hello Kitty Cake Pops]]&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Ghetto Microwave Mochi]]&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Baked Raw Cookie Dough]]&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[French Macarons]] (__!__)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Buttercream]] (__!__)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Cranberry Orange Muffins, Jesse Pinkman method]]&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[B&#039;norange Banana Cake]]&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Rose &amp;amp; Herbes de Provence Olive Oil Cake]]&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[But It&#039;s Not Salad Cake]]&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Chocolate Babkallah]]&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Shokupan, bitches!]]&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Rosemary Brown Butter Apple Cake]]&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Lemon Curd Mousse Cake]]&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Sticky Toffee Jujube Pudding]]&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[One-Ramekin Apple Crisp]]&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
==Drinkies==&lt;br /&gt;
[[Tears of Baby Jesus]] (_!_)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Rear of Baby Jesus]] (_!_)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Amaretto Smoothie]] (__!__)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Official Recipe for a Lady DiSaronno]] (_!_)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Dirty Hippie Blackberry-Mango Smoothie]] (!)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[How-I-Got-Registered-To-Vote-In-Cambridge Smoothie]] (!)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Vegan-Friendly Version of the How-I-Got-Registered-To-Vote-In-Cambridge Smoothie]] (!)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Coconut-Pandan Daiquiri]] (Creamy and yet dairy-free! For those of you who don&#039;t want your lactose intolerance flaring up and adding to the morning-after beer shits.) (__!__)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Eggnog (Johnson Family Recipe)]] (__!__)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Roger&#039;s Appletinis]] (!)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Spiced Pear]] (!)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Izzy&#039;s XXX Road Soda]] (!)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Courtney Love]] (!)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Izzy&#039;s Bloody Mary]]&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Cheapo Fruity Mimosa]] (!)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Poolside Sangria]] (!)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Tranny Chaser]]&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[The Main Event Cosmos]]&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Chai Sizzurp]]&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
&#039;&#039;&#039;&amp;lt;u&amp;gt;Le Bunghole Homebrews:&amp;lt;/u&amp;gt;&#039;&#039;&#039;&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Arschwein Beta Version]] (_!_)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Arschwein Version 1.0]] (_!_)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[&amp;quot;Djarum Black&amp;quot; Mead Beta Version]] (_!_)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[The Award-Winning Gargamel]] (_!_)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Infamous Bathtub Mead|Infamous Bathtub Mead (latest recipe has moved here until further notice)]] (_!_)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Viking Breakfast (Bacon Acerglyn)]] (_!_)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
==Misc==&lt;br /&gt;
[[Awesome Fake Satay Sauce]] (_!_)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Mutie&#039;s Honey Butter Recipe]] x_x&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[&amp;quot;Special Sauce&amp;quot;]] x_x&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Guacamole]] (_!_)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Tzatziki]] (!)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Extra-salty Soy-Garlic Marinade]] (__!__)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Extra-salty Soy-Ginger Marinade]] (__!__)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Creamy Fake Vomit]] x_x&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[How To Make a Bacon Candle]] x_x&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Oatmeal-Raisin Cardboard]] (!)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Homemade Turkey Broth]] (_!_)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Bizkits]]* (_!_)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Maple 5-Spice Squash Seeds]]&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
==Zahnnie&#039;s High-Fallutin&#039; Fancy-Pants Cookin&#039; Section==&lt;br /&gt;
With the recipes that follow, you will be able to easily convince your family and friends that you are a totally awesome cook, when in fact you&#039;re just making it up as you go. Never reveal this crucial secret.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[GGZ_Baked Potato Soup | Baked Potato Soup]] so good you just may cream your pants.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[GGZ_Moroccan Lamb | Moroccan Lamb Tagine]]&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[GGZ_Gnocchi | Homemade Gnocchi]]&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[GGZ_SausageLeekRagu | Sausage and Leek Ragu]] to go with the gnocchis. Mmm.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[GGZ_SausageLeekSoup | Sausage and Leek Soup]] inspired by the ragu. For the crockpot for extra laziness!&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[GGZ_Boozesicles | Boozesicles]] made especially by the lovely Zahnnie for Ubernerd&#039;s Tarts &#039;n Vicars/Good-Decisions party&lt;/div&gt;</summary>
		<author><name>Ubernerd</name></author>
	</entry>
	<entry>
		<id>https://wiki.utter-chaos.net/ucwiki/index.php?title=Beanz_from_Scratch&amp;diff=17011</id>
		<title>Beanz from Scratch</title>
		<link rel="alternate" type="text/html" href="https://wiki.utter-chaos.net/ucwiki/index.php?title=Beanz_from_Scratch&amp;diff=17011"/>
		<updated>2026-01-28T01:41:27Z</updated>

		<summary type="html">&lt;p&gt;Ubernerd: Created page with &amp;quot;Beanz from scratch taste so much better and are cheaper than buying them by the can, and they make a shitload of food.  Ingredients:  1.25 cups dry beans (canelli, small white...&amp;quot;&lt;/p&gt;
&lt;hr /&gt;
&lt;div&gt;Beanz from scratch taste so much better and are cheaper than buying them by the can, and they make a shitload of food.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
Ingredients:&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
1.25 cups dry beans (canelli, small white beans etc)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
2 bay leaves&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
8 cups water&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
1/2 an onion, or 1 small onion, diced&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
A generous helping of dry lavender (these are gonna be herbes de provence beans)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
A generous helping of dry rosemary&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
5 tsp chicken bouillon powder&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
Optional but encouraged step: de-fart the dried beanz by soaking them overnight in at least twice their volume of water. Drain off the de-farting water. Put all the ingreients in an Instant Pot. Cook under high pressure for 35 minutes, natural release.&lt;/div&gt;</summary>
		<author><name>Ubernerd</name></author>
	</entry>
	<entry>
		<id>https://wiki.utter-chaos.net/ucwiki/index.php?title=The_Ghetto_Gourmet&amp;diff=17010</id>
		<title>The Ghetto Gourmet</title>
		<link rel="alternate" type="text/html" href="https://wiki.utter-chaos.net/ucwiki/index.php?title=The_Ghetto_Gourmet&amp;diff=17010"/>
		<updated>2026-01-28T01:36:11Z</updated>

		<summary type="html">&lt;p&gt;Ubernerd: &lt;/p&gt;
&lt;hr /&gt;
&lt;div&gt;Welcome to The Ghetto Gourmet; a repository for the recipes that require quantifiable measurements I actually need to look up... and then some experimental stuff in development.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
BUT BEFORE YOU BEGIN, click [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=r9uOQTcDURU&amp;amp;feature=use here]&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
The recipes denoted with an asterisk (*) are considered &amp;quot;Recipes for the Extra Ghetto&amp;quot; and people with little time/skill to devote to preparing healthy meals.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
Per a recent request, I&#039;ve added a section for [[User:Zahnnie|Zahnnie]] (who played a part in The Ghetto Gourmet through the college years) called &amp;quot;Zahnnie&#039;s High-Fallutin&#039; Fancy-Pants Cookin&#039; Section&amp;quot; which is where her collection of &amp;quot;recipes made to impress people&amp;quot; is located. [[User:Zahnnie|Zahnnie]]&#039;s specialty is Moroccan cuisine, and she likes to cook things in her &amp;lt;s&amp;gt;vagine&amp;lt;/s&amp;gt; tagine.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[User:Caryatid|Caryatid]] included an awesome dietary analysis on one of my recipes which I thought added a lot of value. Unfortunately, I don&#039;t have the time to go through each and every recipe and analyze it in through detail, so I have now added simple assicon scaling as an easy way for people to tell which recipes are healthy here and which are... less so. Please refer to the following scale:&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
(!) - Skinny ass. Denotes recipes that would be good as part of a diet for people who are health-conscious or trying to lose weight. Relatively guilt-free eating.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
(_!_) - Normal ass. Denotes recipes that are generally healthy, and meant to be enjoyed regularly.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
(__!__) - Desk ass. Denotes recipes that should probably be enjoyed in moderation, lest you get desk ass.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
x_x - Heart attack. Okay, I know this isn&#039;t technically an assicon, but it&#039;s more accurate than saying &amp;quot;wide load&amp;quot;. Denotes recipes that I would recommend busting out as special treats, because including them as a regular staple in your diet will probably give you a heart attack.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
==Savory Food==&lt;br /&gt;
[[Homemade Gyoza and Wontons]]* (_!_)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Miso Soup]]* (!)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Ghetto-Fantastic Ramen]]* (_!_)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Fried Rice]]* (_!_)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Chicken Pot Pie From Scratch]] (__!__)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Rosemary and Honey Salmon]]* (!)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Beef with Barley Soup]]* (_!_)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Chicken Soup/Plague Remedy]]* (!)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Spicy Ravioli Soup]]* (!)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Rice Porridge/Pukes And Shits Remedy]]* (!)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[&amp;quot;Porchetta Italiana&amp;quot; - Dirty Eye-talian Style Pork Loin]] (_!_)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Eggplant Parmesan]] (__!__)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Bruschetta with Salted Tomatoes]]* (!)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Shredded &amp;quot;Hash Brown&amp;quot; Potato Pile]]* (__!__)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Matar Paneer]] (!)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Paneer Korma]] (_!_)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Kickass Homemade Malaysian Lamb Curry]] (_!_)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Malaysian Chicken Curry that I Made While In AZ]] (_!_)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Improvements on Asian Home Gourmet&#039;s Laksa Recipe]] (_!_)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[That Tasty Pot Roast That I Threw Up Behind Jim&#039;s Tent During The 2007 GNE War]] (_!_)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Moroccan-Spiced Stuffed Mushrooms]]* (_!_)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Salmon in a Puff Pastry Shell]]* (_!_)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Cheese &#039;Tatoes]]* x_x&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Ghetto Cheese Ravioli with Chicken and Pesto Sauce]]* (_!_)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Ghetto Wonton-Noodle Soup]]* (_!_)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Creamy Carrot Soup]] (_!_)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Coconut Chicken Soup]] (_!_)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Ginger and Scallion Steamed Fish]] (!)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Ghetto-Fabulous Ma Po Tofu]] (_!_)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Tea Eggs]] (!)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[&amp;quot;Funky Chinese Herb&amp;quot; Stew]] (_!_)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Toss]]* (__!__)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Why-I-Am-Going-To-Hell Spinach]] (!)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Bill of Larder from the 2008 GNE War, Courtesy of Vance, Thunder Mountain&#039;s Favorite Camp Cookie]] x_x&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Creamy Vegetable-Rice Soup/Fake Risotto]] (_!_)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Tasty Nasi Goreng made with Bamboe&#039;s Nasi Goreng spices]] (_!_)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Penang Curry with Basil]] (_!_)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Daikon Cake]] (_!_)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Heavenly Ghettalian Spaghetti Sauce]] (!)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[See Krong Tord Gratium (Thai style Pork Spareribs with Crispy Garlic and Pepper)]] (__!__)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Takrite Goong (Lemongrass Sticks with Minced Chicken, Prawns, and Pork)]] (__!__)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Salmon and Spinach Quiche (aka &amp;quot;Quiche So Good, She&#039;ll Pretty Much Have To Put Out&amp;quot;)]] x_x&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Ghetto-Fabulous Spicy Tuna a la Waldrop]]* (!)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Panko-Breaded Fish with Ginger Sauce]] (_!_)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Black Bean Sauce Pork Roast, Courtesy of Marti]] (_!_)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Flippin&#039; Sweet Spinach Dip]] x_x&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Chicken and Corn Risotto (warning: not for cooks who are ADD)]] (_!_)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Thai Pickles]] (!)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Moderately Nutritious Taco Salad]] (!)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Sexy Homemade Tater Tots]] (!)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[&amp;quot;Toss My&amp;quot; Salad]] (!)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Chicken Turnovers]] (_!_)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[The Cafe Congress&#039; &amp;quot;Heartbreaker&amp;quot; Plate]] x_x&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Beef Stew]] (_!_)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Efficient Broccoli &amp;amp; Rice]]* (!)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Holy-Crap-Good Cornbread]]* (!)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Poky Salad]]* (!)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Cafe-Style Chicken &amp;amp; Broccoli Alfredo]]* x_x&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Lo Mai Gai (Lotus-wrapped Chicken with Sticky Rice)]] (_!_)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Soup for a Sick Day]]&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Ghetto-Fraiche Lemon Tofu]]* (_!_)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Ghetto Coconut Noodle Soup]]* (_!_)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Take Me to Your Mama&#039;s for Rice &amp;amp; Beans]]&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Cruelty-free Bolognese Sauce]]&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Fake Thai Veggies]]&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Hoity Toity Farm-to-Table Frittata]]&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Total Flex-Cooking Lasagna From Scratch]]... but it&#039;s only mad flexin&#039; if you make it on a weeknight after work and don&#039;t start cooking until after 7pm.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Bagels from that stupid fucking long recipe]]&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Definitive Brisket Recipe]]&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Lotus Root Soup]]&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Barb&#039;s Scalloped Potatoes are F*cked!]]&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Decorative Gourd Seasonal Dish]]&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Chicken and Dumplings]]&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Sausage Bean and Kale Soup]]&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Beanz from Scratch]]&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
==Dessert==&lt;br /&gt;
[[Pie Crust]] (__!__)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Blackberry-Blueberry Pie]] (_!_)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Apple Pie]] (_!_)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Peach Pie with Star Anise]] (_!_)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Ginger Ice Cream]] (_!_)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Basil Ice Cream]] (_!_)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Krapp (Flambe)]] (__!__)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Dark Chocolate Cake]] (__!__)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Litterbox Cake]] (__!__)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Emme&#039;s Rum Balls]] (_!_)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Arschwein-Cookies]] (_!_)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Father-Hating-and-Shame Cookies]] (_!_)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Goth-Flavored Banana Bread]] (!)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[The Best Carrot Cake Ever, According to Two California Hippies]] (!)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Sun-Ripened Mixed New Galen Field Browns]] (_!_)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Bienenstich]] x_x&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Pandan-Banana Cake]] (_!_)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Delicious Fiber Bomb Bars]]* (!)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Hilary&#039;s Plum Torte]] (_!_)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Chocolate Oatmeal Cake]] (_!_)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Baked Apple-Thing]] (__!__)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Amanda&#039;s Mom&#039;s Cake]] (Red Velvet Cake filled with Grand Marnier-soaked Strawberries, covered in Homemade Creamcheese Frosting, Coconut and Almond Flakes) x_x&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Horror at Pompeii (Rice Krispy Treats)]]* (__!__)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Perfect 10 Legendary Munchies-Satisfying Cranberry Chocolate Chip Muffins]] (__!__)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Hello Kitty Cake Pops]]&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Ghetto Microwave Mochi]]&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Baked Raw Cookie Dough]]&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[French Macarons]] (__!__)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Buttercream]] (__!__)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Cranberry Orange Muffins, Jesse Pinkman method]]&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[B&#039;norange Banana Cake]]&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Rose &amp;amp; Herbes de Provence Olive Oil Cake]]&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[But It&#039;s Not Salad Cake]]&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Chocolate Babkallah]]&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Shokupan, bitches!]]&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Rosemary Brown Butter Apple Cake]]&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Lemon Curd Mousse Cake]]&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Sticky Toffee Jujube Pudding]]&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[One-Ramekin Apple Crisp]]&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
==Drinkies==&lt;br /&gt;
[[Tears of Baby Jesus]] (_!_)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Rear of Baby Jesus]] (_!_)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Amaretto Smoothie]] (__!__)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Official Recipe for a Lady DiSaronno]] (_!_)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Dirty Hippie Blackberry-Mango Smoothie]] (!)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[How-I-Got-Registered-To-Vote-In-Cambridge Smoothie]] (!)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Vegan-Friendly Version of the How-I-Got-Registered-To-Vote-In-Cambridge Smoothie]] (!)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Coconut-Pandan Daiquiri]] (Creamy and yet dairy-free! For those of you who don&#039;t want your lactose intolerance flaring up and adding to the morning-after beer shits.) (__!__)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Eggnog (Johnson Family Recipe)]] (__!__)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Roger&#039;s Appletinis]] (!)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Spiced Pear]] (!)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Izzy&#039;s XXX Road Soda]] (!)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Courtney Love]] (!)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Izzy&#039;s Bloody Mary]]&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Cheapo Fruity Mimosa]] (!)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Poolside Sangria]] (!)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Tranny Chaser]]&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[The Main Event Cosmos]]&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Chai Sizzurp]]&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
&#039;&#039;&#039;&amp;lt;u&amp;gt;Le Bunghole Homebrews:&amp;lt;/u&amp;gt;&#039;&#039;&#039;&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Arschwein Beta Version]] (_!_)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Arschwein Version 1.0]] (_!_)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[&amp;quot;Djarum Black&amp;quot; Mead Beta Version]] (_!_)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[The Award-Winning Gargamel]] (_!_)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Infamous Bathtub Mead|Infamous Bathtub Mead (latest recipe has moved here until further notice)]] (_!_)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Viking Breakfast (Bacon Acerglyn)]] (_!_)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
==Misc==&lt;br /&gt;
[[Awesome Fake Satay Sauce]] (_!_)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Mutie&#039;s Honey Butter Recipe]] x_x&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[&amp;quot;Special Sauce&amp;quot;]] x_x&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Guacamole]] (_!_)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Tzatziki]] (!)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Extra-salty Soy-Garlic Marinade]] (__!__)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Extra-salty Soy-Ginger Marinade]] (__!__)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Creamy Fake Vomit]] x_x&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[How To Make a Bacon Candle]] x_x&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Oatmeal-Raisin Cardboard]] (!)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Homemade Turkey Broth]] (_!_)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Bizkits]]* (_!_)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Maple 5-Spice Squash Seeds]]&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
==Zahnnie&#039;s High-Fallutin&#039; Fancy-Pants Cookin&#039; Section==&lt;br /&gt;
With the recipes that follow, you will be able to easily convince your family and friends that you are a totally awesome cook, when in fact you&#039;re just making it up as you go. Never reveal this crucial secret.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[GGZ_Baked Potato Soup | Baked Potato Soup]] so good you just may cream your pants.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[GGZ_Moroccan Lamb | Moroccan Lamb Tagine]]&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[GGZ_Gnocchi | Homemade Gnocchi]]&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[GGZ_SausageLeekRagu | Sausage and Leek Ragu]] to go with the gnocchis. Mmm.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[GGZ_SausageLeekSoup | Sausage and Leek Soup]] inspired by the ragu. For the crockpot for extra laziness!&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[GGZ_Boozesicles | Boozesicles]] made especially by the lovely Zahnnie for Ubernerd&#039;s Tarts &#039;n Vicars/Good-Decisions party&lt;/div&gt;</summary>
		<author><name>Ubernerd</name></author>
	</entry>
	<entry>
		<id>https://wiki.utter-chaos.net/ucwiki/index.php?title=Sausage_Bean_and_Kale_Soup&amp;diff=17009</id>
		<title>Sausage Bean and Kale Soup</title>
		<link rel="alternate" type="text/html" href="https://wiki.utter-chaos.net/ucwiki/index.php?title=Sausage_Bean_and_Kale_Soup&amp;diff=17009"/>
		<updated>2026-01-28T01:35:11Z</updated>

		<summary type="html">&lt;p&gt;Ubernerd: Created page with &amp;quot;I got an 8 quart oval Le Creuset and immediately became insufferable... making vat after vat of meals that last a whole week. So for the cozy blizzard weekend of 2026, I made...&amp;quot;&lt;/p&gt;
&lt;hr /&gt;
&lt;div&gt;I got an 8 quart oval Le Creuset and immediately became insufferable... making vat after vat of meals that last a whole week. So for the cozy blizzard weekend of 2026, I made this magnificent bastard of a soup for like 4 days straight. This recipe also includes the Beanz from scratch recipe as an ingredient.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
Ingredients:&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
1 whole recipe of [[Beanz from Scratch]]&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
4 cups hot water&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
3 tsp chicken bouillon powder&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
2lbs Italian Sausage (mix it up - get 1lb sweet, 1lb cheese and garlic or something)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
1 large sweet onion&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
4 cloves garlic, minced&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
1 bay leaf&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
A generous fart of ketchup&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
3 tbsp sugar&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
1 generous tbsp olive oil&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
A splash of sake, whatever&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
1 giant wad of fresh kale (with stems)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
Salt&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
Pepper&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
A hefty dash of the following spices&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
- Auntie Arwen&#039;s Garlic Insanity&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
- Tarragon&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
- Rosemary&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
- Oregano&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
1 cup heavy cream (optional - if you plan on keeping this thing on the stove and reboiling a bunch of times to kill the germs... a form of &amp;quot;generational soup&amp;quot; as Masumi would say, add cream when serving)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
Heat up the olive oil in your Le Creuset... revel in how gorgeous and evenly it heats. Slice up the sausages into bite sized pieces, and brown in the pot. Dice up the onion. Remove the browned sausage and set it aside for the moment. Toss the onion, garlic, and the fistful of spices into the Le Creuset. As they start to cook, splash in that sake and deglaze all the brown bits from the bottom of the pot. When the onions have cooked down and are tender/translucent, fart a whole bunch of ketchup all over the onions and stir around/cook that ketchup for like 30 seconds. Pour in 4 cups of hot water, add the chicken bouillon powder, bay leaf, all the Beanz from Scratch (and their cooking liquid), sugar, and the sausage you set aside earlier. Put a lid on it and bring to a simmer. While that&#039;s getting up to temp, wash the kale and cut the stems out (reserving leafy greens for later). Dice up the stems and add to the pot of soup as it&#039;s simmering - that&#039;s flavor and fiber (and shit you don&#039;t want to eat undercooked). Simmer the whole thing for 20 minutes. When it&#039;s done, turn the heat off, tear up all the kale leafy green parts and add it to the broth. Put the lid back on and let the kale sit in the hot soup for like 3 minutes. Stir in the heavy cream if you want to dairy up the whole pot... otherwise add it to each bowl as you serve.&lt;/div&gt;</summary>
		<author><name>Ubernerd</name></author>
	</entry>
	<entry>
		<id>https://wiki.utter-chaos.net/ucwiki/index.php?title=The_Ghetto_Gourmet&amp;diff=17008</id>
		<title>The Ghetto Gourmet</title>
		<link rel="alternate" type="text/html" href="https://wiki.utter-chaos.net/ucwiki/index.php?title=The_Ghetto_Gourmet&amp;diff=17008"/>
		<updated>2026-01-28T00:57:02Z</updated>

		<summary type="html">&lt;p&gt;Ubernerd: &lt;/p&gt;
&lt;hr /&gt;
&lt;div&gt;Welcome to The Ghetto Gourmet; a repository for the recipes that require quantifiable measurements I actually need to look up... and then some experimental stuff in development.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
BUT BEFORE YOU BEGIN, click [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=r9uOQTcDURU&amp;amp;feature=use here]&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
The recipes denoted with an asterisk (*) are considered &amp;quot;Recipes for the Extra Ghetto&amp;quot; and people with little time/skill to devote to preparing healthy meals.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
Per a recent request, I&#039;ve added a section for [[User:Zahnnie|Zahnnie]] (who played a part in The Ghetto Gourmet through the college years) called &amp;quot;Zahnnie&#039;s High-Fallutin&#039; Fancy-Pants Cookin&#039; Section&amp;quot; which is where her collection of &amp;quot;recipes made to impress people&amp;quot; is located. [[User:Zahnnie|Zahnnie]]&#039;s specialty is Moroccan cuisine, and she likes to cook things in her &amp;lt;s&amp;gt;vagine&amp;lt;/s&amp;gt; tagine.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[User:Caryatid|Caryatid]] included an awesome dietary analysis on one of my recipes which I thought added a lot of value. Unfortunately, I don&#039;t have the time to go through each and every recipe and analyze it in through detail, so I have now added simple assicon scaling as an easy way for people to tell which recipes are healthy here and which are... less so. Please refer to the following scale:&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
(!) - Skinny ass. Denotes recipes that would be good as part of a diet for people who are health-conscious or trying to lose weight. Relatively guilt-free eating.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
(_!_) - Normal ass. Denotes recipes that are generally healthy, and meant to be enjoyed regularly.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
(__!__) - Desk ass. Denotes recipes that should probably be enjoyed in moderation, lest you get desk ass.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
x_x - Heart attack. Okay, I know this isn&#039;t technically an assicon, but it&#039;s more accurate than saying &amp;quot;wide load&amp;quot;. Denotes recipes that I would recommend busting out as special treats, because including them as a regular staple in your diet will probably give you a heart attack.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
==Savory Food==&lt;br /&gt;
[[Homemade Gyoza and Wontons]]* (_!_)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Miso Soup]]* (!)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Ghetto-Fantastic Ramen]]* (_!_)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Fried Rice]]* (_!_)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Chicken Pot Pie From Scratch]] (__!__)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Rosemary and Honey Salmon]]* (!)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Beef with Barley Soup]]* (_!_)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Chicken Soup/Plague Remedy]]* (!)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Spicy Ravioli Soup]]* (!)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Rice Porridge/Pukes And Shits Remedy]]* (!)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[&amp;quot;Porchetta Italiana&amp;quot; - Dirty Eye-talian Style Pork Loin]] (_!_)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Eggplant Parmesan]] (__!__)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Bruschetta with Salted Tomatoes]]* (!)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Shredded &amp;quot;Hash Brown&amp;quot; Potato Pile]]* (__!__)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Matar Paneer]] (!)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Paneer Korma]] (_!_)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Kickass Homemade Malaysian Lamb Curry]] (_!_)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Malaysian Chicken Curry that I Made While In AZ]] (_!_)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Improvements on Asian Home Gourmet&#039;s Laksa Recipe]] (_!_)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[That Tasty Pot Roast That I Threw Up Behind Jim&#039;s Tent During The 2007 GNE War]] (_!_)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Moroccan-Spiced Stuffed Mushrooms]]* (_!_)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Salmon in a Puff Pastry Shell]]* (_!_)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Cheese &#039;Tatoes]]* x_x&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Ghetto Cheese Ravioli with Chicken and Pesto Sauce]]* (_!_)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Ghetto Wonton-Noodle Soup]]* (_!_)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Creamy Carrot Soup]] (_!_)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Coconut Chicken Soup]] (_!_)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Ginger and Scallion Steamed Fish]] (!)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Ghetto-Fabulous Ma Po Tofu]] (_!_)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Tea Eggs]] (!)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[&amp;quot;Funky Chinese Herb&amp;quot; Stew]] (_!_)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Toss]]* (__!__)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Why-I-Am-Going-To-Hell Spinach]] (!)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Bill of Larder from the 2008 GNE War, Courtesy of Vance, Thunder Mountain&#039;s Favorite Camp Cookie]] x_x&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Creamy Vegetable-Rice Soup/Fake Risotto]] (_!_)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Tasty Nasi Goreng made with Bamboe&#039;s Nasi Goreng spices]] (_!_)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Penang Curry with Basil]] (_!_)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Daikon Cake]] (_!_)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Heavenly Ghettalian Spaghetti Sauce]] (!)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[See Krong Tord Gratium (Thai style Pork Spareribs with Crispy Garlic and Pepper)]] (__!__)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Takrite Goong (Lemongrass Sticks with Minced Chicken, Prawns, and Pork)]] (__!__)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Salmon and Spinach Quiche (aka &amp;quot;Quiche So Good, She&#039;ll Pretty Much Have To Put Out&amp;quot;)]] x_x&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Ghetto-Fabulous Spicy Tuna a la Waldrop]]* (!)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Panko-Breaded Fish with Ginger Sauce]] (_!_)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Black Bean Sauce Pork Roast, Courtesy of Marti]] (_!_)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Flippin&#039; Sweet Spinach Dip]] x_x&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Chicken and Corn Risotto (warning: not for cooks who are ADD)]] (_!_)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Thai Pickles]] (!)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Moderately Nutritious Taco Salad]] (!)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Sexy Homemade Tater Tots]] (!)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[&amp;quot;Toss My&amp;quot; Salad]] (!)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Chicken Turnovers]] (_!_)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[The Cafe Congress&#039; &amp;quot;Heartbreaker&amp;quot; Plate]] x_x&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Beef Stew]] (_!_)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Efficient Broccoli &amp;amp; Rice]]* (!)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Holy-Crap-Good Cornbread]]* (!)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Poky Salad]]* (!)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Cafe-Style Chicken &amp;amp; Broccoli Alfredo]]* x_x&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Lo Mai Gai (Lotus-wrapped Chicken with Sticky Rice)]] (_!_)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Soup for a Sick Day]]&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Ghetto-Fraiche Lemon Tofu]]* (_!_)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Ghetto Coconut Noodle Soup]]* (_!_)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Take Me to Your Mama&#039;s for Rice &amp;amp; Beans]]&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Cruelty-free Bolognese Sauce]]&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Fake Thai Veggies]]&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Hoity Toity Farm-to-Table Frittata]]&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Total Flex-Cooking Lasagna From Scratch]]... but it&#039;s only mad flexin&#039; if you make it on a weeknight after work and don&#039;t start cooking until after 7pm.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Bagels from that stupid fucking long recipe]]&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Definitive Brisket Recipe]]&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Lotus Root Soup]]&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Barb&#039;s Scalloped Potatoes are F*cked!]]&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Decorative Gourd Seasonal Dish]]&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Chicken and Dumplings]]&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Sausage Bean and Kale Soup]]&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
==Dessert==&lt;br /&gt;
[[Pie Crust]] (__!__)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Blackberry-Blueberry Pie]] (_!_)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Apple Pie]] (_!_)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Peach Pie with Star Anise]] (_!_)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Ginger Ice Cream]] (_!_)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Basil Ice Cream]] (_!_)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Krapp (Flambe)]] (__!__)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Dark Chocolate Cake]] (__!__)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Litterbox Cake]] (__!__)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Emme&#039;s Rum Balls]] (_!_)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Arschwein-Cookies]] (_!_)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Father-Hating-and-Shame Cookies]] (_!_)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Goth-Flavored Banana Bread]] (!)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[The Best Carrot Cake Ever, According to Two California Hippies]] (!)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Sun-Ripened Mixed New Galen Field Browns]] (_!_)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Bienenstich]] x_x&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Pandan-Banana Cake]] (_!_)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Delicious Fiber Bomb Bars]]* (!)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Hilary&#039;s Plum Torte]] (_!_)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Chocolate Oatmeal Cake]] (_!_)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Baked Apple-Thing]] (__!__)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Amanda&#039;s Mom&#039;s Cake]] (Red Velvet Cake filled with Grand Marnier-soaked Strawberries, covered in Homemade Creamcheese Frosting, Coconut and Almond Flakes) x_x&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Horror at Pompeii (Rice Krispy Treats)]]* (__!__)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Perfect 10 Legendary Munchies-Satisfying Cranberry Chocolate Chip Muffins]] (__!__)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Hello Kitty Cake Pops]]&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Ghetto Microwave Mochi]]&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Baked Raw Cookie Dough]]&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[French Macarons]] (__!__)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Buttercream]] (__!__)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Cranberry Orange Muffins, Jesse Pinkman method]]&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[B&#039;norange Banana Cake]]&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Rose &amp;amp; Herbes de Provence Olive Oil Cake]]&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[But It&#039;s Not Salad Cake]]&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Chocolate Babkallah]]&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Shokupan, bitches!]]&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Rosemary Brown Butter Apple Cake]]&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Lemon Curd Mousse Cake]]&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Sticky Toffee Jujube Pudding]]&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[One-Ramekin Apple Crisp]]&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
==Drinkies==&lt;br /&gt;
[[Tears of Baby Jesus]] (_!_)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Rear of Baby Jesus]] (_!_)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Amaretto Smoothie]] (__!__)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Official Recipe for a Lady DiSaronno]] (_!_)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Dirty Hippie Blackberry-Mango Smoothie]] (!)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[How-I-Got-Registered-To-Vote-In-Cambridge Smoothie]] (!)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Vegan-Friendly Version of the How-I-Got-Registered-To-Vote-In-Cambridge Smoothie]] (!)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Coconut-Pandan Daiquiri]] (Creamy and yet dairy-free! For those of you who don&#039;t want your lactose intolerance flaring up and adding to the morning-after beer shits.) (__!__)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Eggnog (Johnson Family Recipe)]] (__!__)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Roger&#039;s Appletinis]] (!)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Spiced Pear]] (!)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Izzy&#039;s XXX Road Soda]] (!)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Courtney Love]] (!)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Izzy&#039;s Bloody Mary]]&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Cheapo Fruity Mimosa]] (!)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Poolside Sangria]] (!)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Tranny Chaser]]&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[The Main Event Cosmos]]&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Chai Sizzurp]]&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
&#039;&#039;&#039;&amp;lt;u&amp;gt;Le Bunghole Homebrews:&amp;lt;/u&amp;gt;&#039;&#039;&#039;&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Arschwein Beta Version]] (_!_)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Arschwein Version 1.0]] (_!_)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[&amp;quot;Djarum Black&amp;quot; Mead Beta Version]] (_!_)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[The Award-Winning Gargamel]] (_!_)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Infamous Bathtub Mead|Infamous Bathtub Mead (latest recipe has moved here until further notice)]] (_!_)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Viking Breakfast (Bacon Acerglyn)]] (_!_)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
==Misc==&lt;br /&gt;
[[Awesome Fake Satay Sauce]] (_!_)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Mutie&#039;s Honey Butter Recipe]] x_x&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[&amp;quot;Special Sauce&amp;quot;]] x_x&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Guacamole]] (_!_)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Tzatziki]] (!)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Extra-salty Soy-Garlic Marinade]] (__!__)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Extra-salty Soy-Ginger Marinade]] (__!__)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Creamy Fake Vomit]] x_x&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[How To Make a Bacon Candle]] x_x&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Oatmeal-Raisin Cardboard]] (!)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Homemade Turkey Broth]] (_!_)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Bizkits]]* (_!_)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Maple 5-Spice Squash Seeds]]&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
==Zahnnie&#039;s High-Fallutin&#039; Fancy-Pants Cookin&#039; Section==&lt;br /&gt;
With the recipes that follow, you will be able to easily convince your family and friends that you are a totally awesome cook, when in fact you&#039;re just making it up as you go. Never reveal this crucial secret.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[GGZ_Baked Potato Soup | Baked Potato Soup]] so good you just may cream your pants.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[GGZ_Moroccan Lamb | Moroccan Lamb Tagine]]&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[GGZ_Gnocchi | Homemade Gnocchi]]&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[GGZ_SausageLeekRagu | Sausage and Leek Ragu]] to go with the gnocchis. Mmm.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[GGZ_SausageLeekSoup | Sausage and Leek Soup]] inspired by the ragu. For the crockpot for extra laziness!&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[GGZ_Boozesicles | Boozesicles]] made especially by the lovely Zahnnie for Ubernerd&#039;s Tarts &#039;n Vicars/Good-Decisions party&lt;/div&gt;</summary>
		<author><name>Ubernerd</name></author>
	</entry>
	<entry>
		<id>https://wiki.utter-chaos.net/ucwiki/index.php?title=Maple_5-Spice_Squash_Seeds&amp;diff=17007</id>
		<title>Maple 5-Spice Squash Seeds</title>
		<link rel="alternate" type="text/html" href="https://wiki.utter-chaos.net/ucwiki/index.php?title=Maple_5-Spice_Squash_Seeds&amp;diff=17007"/>
		<updated>2025-12-13T16:57:56Z</updated>

		<summary type="html">&lt;p&gt;Ubernerd: &lt;/p&gt;
&lt;hr /&gt;
&lt;div&gt;Never let any of your decorative gourd guts go to waste! Mike Collins calls these &amp;quot;Bacon Seeds&amp;quot;&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
Ingredients:&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
Squash guts containing seeds&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
Olive oil&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
Salt&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
5 spice&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
Maple sizzurp&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
Clean out the seeds from the squash guts. This is best done by filling a deep bowl with water, tossing in the guts, and then letting the guts sink the bottom while the seeds float to the top. Now take all the seeds and spread &#039;em out on a paper towel to dry. Maybe stick &#039;em in the fridge overnight for extra dryness. When you&#039;re ready, prep a bowl with ~1tsp olive oil, ~1tsp maple sizzurp, salt, and 5 spice (as you like). Mix all the dry seeds up in there, then spread out on a parchment paper. Bake at 325 for 20 minutes, stirring occasionally to get a nice even roasty-toasty.&lt;/div&gt;</summary>
		<author><name>Ubernerd</name></author>
	</entry>
	<entry>
		<id>https://wiki.utter-chaos.net/ucwiki/index.php?title=Lo_Mai_Gai_(Lotus-wrapped_Chicken_with_Sticky_Rice)&amp;diff=17006</id>
		<title>Lo Mai Gai (Lotus-wrapped Chicken with Sticky Rice)</title>
		<link rel="alternate" type="text/html" href="https://wiki.utter-chaos.net/ucwiki/index.php?title=Lo_Mai_Gai_(Lotus-wrapped_Chicken_with_Sticky_Rice)&amp;diff=17006"/>
		<updated>2025-12-13T16:56:09Z</updated>

		<summary type="html">&lt;p&gt;Ubernerd: Created page with &amp;quot;I keep fuckin&amp;#039; losing this recipe because I am senile. I think I&amp;#039;ve rewritten it like 2 dozen times for Marie, and whenever I go to make it in her little kitchen sweatshop, I...&amp;quot;&lt;/p&gt;
&lt;hr /&gt;
&lt;div&gt;I keep fuckin&#039; losing this recipe because I am senile. I think I&#039;ve rewritten it like 2 dozen times for Marie, and whenever I go to make it in her little kitchen sweatshop, I have to remember it all over again from scratch, or call my mom. So here it is, pasted in here, once and for all.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
Ingredients:&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
4 lotus leaves cut into quarters&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
5 or 6 cups of sweet rice (not Japanese sticky rice - some people call this &amp;quot;Botan rice&amp;quot;)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
2 chicken breasts&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
3 or 4 chinese sausages&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
6-10 dried shiitake mushrooms (depending on size)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
3-4 tbsp dried shrimp, chopped up&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
1 tsp chili sauce (anything better than sriracha, but that&#039;ll work in a pinch)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
shaoxing cooking wine&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
oil&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
soy sauce&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
pepper (black)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
cornstarch&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
- Soak the leaves and rice overnight&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
- Cut up the chicken and mix with oil, pepper, and some soy sauce. Marinate for 30 minutes.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
- Soak the dried mushrooms in hot water until they&#039;re soft. Save the mushroom water. Chop up the dried shrimps and soak them in the cooking wine.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
- Steam the chinese sausage&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
- When all the above things are marinated/soaked/cooked etc, cut them all up into little pieces&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
- Heat up a wok. Fry the shrimp and wine with a tsp of chili sauce. Throw in the chicken and fry until that&#039;s cooked. Add mushroom and chinese sausage. Stir up some cornstarch with the mushroom water and some soy sauce (this is going to be the &amp;quot;sauce&amp;quot; that moistens and flavors the rice. If you like your lo mai gai saucy, then make more of this sauce). Add this slurry to the wok and cook until it thickens into a sauce on the other ingredients.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
- Take one soaked leaf quarter, put it vein-side-up on the table. Put a couple tbsp soaked rice in the center. Scoop in some chicken and sauce. Top with a little more rice. Fold up and put it in the steamer. Steam all the packets for 1 hour.&lt;/div&gt;</summary>
		<author><name>Ubernerd</name></author>
	</entry>
	<entry>
		<id>https://wiki.utter-chaos.net/ucwiki/index.php?title=Definitive_Brisket_Recipe&amp;diff=17005</id>
		<title>Definitive Brisket Recipe</title>
		<link rel="alternate" type="text/html" href="https://wiki.utter-chaos.net/ucwiki/index.php?title=Definitive_Brisket_Recipe&amp;diff=17005"/>
		<updated>2025-11-28T03:55:39Z</updated>

		<summary type="html">&lt;p&gt;Ubernerd: &lt;/p&gt;
&lt;hr /&gt;
&lt;div&gt;I endured dating that useless shitbag Aaron for nearly 7 years in order to get this recipe.&lt;br /&gt;
Okay, well not exactly, but I *did* come out of that relationship with *one* good thing, and it was this little old Jewish lady brisket recipe, which is so good it&#039;s *almost* made it worth putting up with that ass-barnacle for that long. Almost.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
Ingredients:&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
1lb of brisket per person you&#039;re serving (marbled &#039;n fatty on top is what you want. Ask for a &amp;quot;point cut&amp;quot; if your butcher is awesome)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
~2 packages of Lipton onion soup mix (once you go over like 6 lbs, maybe add another)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
Worcestershire sauce&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
Dry mustard powder&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
Thin sliced onions&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
Carrots, cut into coins&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
red wine&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
ketchup (a bunch)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
Note: most of the above ingredients have no real measurement because this is an authentic little old lady recipe. &amp;quot;Put in the amount you would like to taste&amp;quot; is the guideline here. Prepare for this to be a 2 day process because you&#039;re twice-baking it. ALSO: do NOT use a disposable tinfoil pan - it will not retain enough heat at 325 to cook your meat properly. A Le Creuset or enamel cooking container with a lid is the ideal tool here. If you fuck it up and it&#039;s tough after like 3 or 4 hours in the oven, 30 minutes in the Instant Pot to finish on the second day will unfuck your unfortunate situation (per Thanksgiving 2025)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
1. Preheat your oven to 325&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
2. Get a deep roasting pan with a lid, or prepare your finest tinfoil hat folding skills.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
3. Boil some water and mix up 1 cup of water to 1 package of onion soup mix. Pour it in the pan.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
4. Rub the dry mustard powder on top of the brisket (all over dat fat). Put dat meat in the pan. Make sure it&#039;s unfolded so it&#039;s flat, and about half-submerged in the onion soup broth.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
5. Pour worcestershire sauce all over the top (don&#039;t be stingy)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
6. Splash some red wine all over the top of the meat and into the broth&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
7. Cover the brisket with a nice blanket layer of sliced onions all over the top. Toss more sliced onions in the broth.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
8. Cover that blanket with a blanket of carrot coins. Toss more carrot coins in the broth&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
9. Slather a generous amount of ketchup all over the mound of carrots, onions, and meat in the pan.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
10. Cover the pan with the lid, or do a real fine job making a Faraday cage for your meat with that tinfoil hat.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
11. Bake in the oven. Rough guidance: about 2 hours if you&#039;re making up to 4lbs of brisket in a pan. For 6lbs brisket done in one pan (which is about how much can reasonably fit into 1 pan that fits in a domestic oven), we needed almost 3 hours. You&#039;ll want that thing cooked through, even if it isn&#039;t butter-soft yet.&lt;br /&gt;
      *** Original recipe says: &amp;quot;Cook for 2 hours. Add more time depending on how cooked it is or how delicious it smells.&amp;quot; ***&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
12. Cool completely and then transfer it to the fridge overnight.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
13. Next day: Preheat the oven to 325 again. Pull the meat from the fridge and slice against the grain ~1/4&amp;quot; to 1/2&amp;quot; slices.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
14. Skim *some* but not all of the fatburgs from the pan full of broth/gravy. I tried leaving it all in once, and it did make the sauce a bit greasy. I think if you&#039;re using a less fatty cut from some hoity toity place like Whole Foods you can leave all the fatburgs in there, but I like getting greasy point cut brisket from McKinnon&#039;s.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
15. Carefully &amp;quot;reconstruct&amp;quot; the brisket in the pan, slice by slice, pouring gravy between each slice as you smush them back together.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
16. Put it back in the oven at 325 again for 30 min. Use a fork or tongs to check the consistency of the meat: it should be almost falling apart when lifted. If it isn&#039;t at that level of tender, add 30min and check again. &lt;br /&gt;
      *** Original recipe says: &amp;quot;until you decide it&#039;s done. The meat should be &#039;like butter.&#039;&amp;quot; ***&lt;/div&gt;</summary>
		<author><name>Ubernerd</name></author>
	</entry>
	<entry>
		<id>https://wiki.utter-chaos.net/ucwiki/index.php?title=Chicken_and_Dumplings&amp;diff=17004</id>
		<title>Chicken and Dumplings</title>
		<link rel="alternate" type="text/html" href="https://wiki.utter-chaos.net/ucwiki/index.php?title=Chicken_and_Dumplings&amp;diff=17004"/>
		<updated>2025-11-27T00:33:13Z</updated>

		<summary type="html">&lt;p&gt;Ubernerd: Created page with &amp;quot;For when you don&amp;#039;t want to make a crust, but you want something like a sloppy chicken pot pie thing in a bowl.  Ingredients:  Chicken Soup Part:  Some kind of chicken. Either...&amp;quot;&lt;/p&gt;
&lt;hr /&gt;
&lt;div&gt;For when you don&#039;t want to make a crust, but you want something like a sloppy chicken pot pie thing in a bowl.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
Ingredients:&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
Chicken Soup Part:&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
Some kind of chicken. Either 2 chicken breasts poached, some leftover rotisserie chicken, or a buncha cooked ground chicken&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
Frozen peas&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
Frozen corn&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
Carrots maybe (diced)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
A small onion (diced)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
A couple cloves garlic (minced)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
Thyme&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
Nutmeg&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
Salt&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
Pepper&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
2 bay leaves&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
Any other spices that go into chicken soupy stuff. Use your imagination&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
6 cups chicken broth&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
0.5 cup heavy cream&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
6 tbsp flour&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
2-3 tbsp butter (or use a buncha oil)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
Dumplings Part:&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
2 cups flour&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
1 tbsp baking powder&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
1/2 teaspoon salt&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
1/2 teaspoon pepper&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
1.3 cups heavy cream&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
Start by making the chicken soup part. Heat up a little bit of oil in a wide pot and saute the onion, garlic, and carrots until they&#039;re fragrant. Voila, mirepoix. Add the butter (or a bunch more oil) and then the flour. Stir it around a bit and make a roux (make sure that butter&#039;s cooked). Add the cooked chicken, chicken broth, heavy cream, frozen peas/corn, and all the spices. Let it all come to a simmer and give it like 15 minutes on medium low heat, covered.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
Meanwhile, make the dumplings by mixing the flour, baking soda, salt and pepper together in a bowl. Pour in the heavy cream and then stir it around with a spatula until it just comes together as a single mass of dough. Don&#039;t overknead - you want these shits to be tender. Get a big ass spoon, and form up little 1-1.5&amp;quot; diameter ballz. Drop those gently on top of the simmering soup, cover, and let it simmer for another 15 minutes until the dumplings are cooked. Good job.&lt;/div&gt;</summary>
		<author><name>Ubernerd</name></author>
	</entry>
	<entry>
		<id>https://wiki.utter-chaos.net/ucwiki/index.php?title=The_Ghetto_Gourmet&amp;diff=17003</id>
		<title>The Ghetto Gourmet</title>
		<link rel="alternate" type="text/html" href="https://wiki.utter-chaos.net/ucwiki/index.php?title=The_Ghetto_Gourmet&amp;diff=17003"/>
		<updated>2025-11-27T00:12:43Z</updated>

		<summary type="html">&lt;p&gt;Ubernerd: /* Savory Food */&lt;/p&gt;
&lt;hr /&gt;
&lt;div&gt;Welcome to The Ghetto Gourmet; a repository for the recipes that require quantifiable measurements I actually need to look up... and then some experimental stuff in development.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
BUT BEFORE YOU BEGIN, click [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=r9uOQTcDURU&amp;amp;feature=use here]&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
The recipes denoted with an asterisk (*) are considered &amp;quot;Recipes for the Extra Ghetto&amp;quot; and people with little time/skill to devote to preparing healthy meals.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
Per a recent request, I&#039;ve added a section for [[User:Zahnnie|Zahnnie]] (who played a part in The Ghetto Gourmet through the college years) called &amp;quot;Zahnnie&#039;s High-Fallutin&#039; Fancy-Pants Cookin&#039; Section&amp;quot; which is where her collection of &amp;quot;recipes made to impress people&amp;quot; is located. [[User:Zahnnie|Zahnnie]]&#039;s specialty is Moroccan cuisine, and she likes to cook things in her &amp;lt;s&amp;gt;vagine&amp;lt;/s&amp;gt; tagine.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[User:Caryatid|Caryatid]] included an awesome dietary analysis on one of my recipes which I thought added a lot of value. Unfortunately, I don&#039;t have the time to go through each and every recipe and analyze it in through detail, so I have now added simple assicon scaling as an easy way for people to tell which recipes are healthy here and which are... less so. Please refer to the following scale:&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
(!) - Skinny ass. Denotes recipes that would be good as part of a diet for people who are health-conscious or trying to lose weight. Relatively guilt-free eating.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
(_!_) - Normal ass. Denotes recipes that are generally healthy, and meant to be enjoyed regularly.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
(__!__) - Desk ass. Denotes recipes that should probably be enjoyed in moderation, lest you get desk ass.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
x_x - Heart attack. Okay, I know this isn&#039;t technically an assicon, but it&#039;s more accurate than saying &amp;quot;wide load&amp;quot;. Denotes recipes that I would recommend busting out as special treats, because including them as a regular staple in your diet will probably give you a heart attack.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
==Savory Food==&lt;br /&gt;
[[Homemade Gyoza and Wontons]]* (_!_)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Miso Soup]]* (!)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Ghetto-Fantastic Ramen]]* (_!_)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Fried Rice]]* (_!_)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Chicken Pot Pie From Scratch]] (__!__)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Rosemary and Honey Salmon]]* (!)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Beef with Barley Soup]]* (_!_)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Chicken Soup/Plague Remedy]]* (!)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Spicy Ravioli Soup]]* (!)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Rice Porridge/Pukes And Shits Remedy]]* (!)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[&amp;quot;Porchetta Italiana&amp;quot; - Dirty Eye-talian Style Pork Loin]] (_!_)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Eggplant Parmesan]] (__!__)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Bruschetta with Salted Tomatoes]]* (!)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Shredded &amp;quot;Hash Brown&amp;quot; Potato Pile]]* (__!__)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Matar Paneer]] (!)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Paneer Korma]] (_!_)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Kickass Homemade Malaysian Lamb Curry]] (_!_)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Malaysian Chicken Curry that I Made While In AZ]] (_!_)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Improvements on Asian Home Gourmet&#039;s Laksa Recipe]] (_!_)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[That Tasty Pot Roast That I Threw Up Behind Jim&#039;s Tent During The 2007 GNE War]] (_!_)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Moroccan-Spiced Stuffed Mushrooms]]* (_!_)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Salmon in a Puff Pastry Shell]]* (_!_)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Cheese &#039;Tatoes]]* x_x&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Ghetto Cheese Ravioli with Chicken and Pesto Sauce]]* (_!_)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Ghetto Wonton-Noodle Soup]]* (_!_)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Creamy Carrot Soup]] (_!_)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Coconut Chicken Soup]] (_!_)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Ginger and Scallion Steamed Fish]] (!)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Ghetto-Fabulous Ma Po Tofu]] (_!_)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Tea Eggs]] (!)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[&amp;quot;Funky Chinese Herb&amp;quot; Stew]] (_!_)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Toss]]* (__!__)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Why-I-Am-Going-To-Hell Spinach]] (!)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Bill of Larder from the 2008 GNE War, Courtesy of Vance, Thunder Mountain&#039;s Favorite Camp Cookie]] x_x&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Creamy Vegetable-Rice Soup/Fake Risotto]] (_!_)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Tasty Nasi Goreng made with Bamboe&#039;s Nasi Goreng spices]] (_!_)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Penang Curry with Basil]] (_!_)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Daikon Cake]] (_!_)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Heavenly Ghettalian Spaghetti Sauce]] (!)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[See Krong Tord Gratium (Thai style Pork Spareribs with Crispy Garlic and Pepper)]] (__!__)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Takrite Goong (Lemongrass Sticks with Minced Chicken, Prawns, and Pork)]] (__!__)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Salmon and Spinach Quiche (aka &amp;quot;Quiche So Good, She&#039;ll Pretty Much Have To Put Out&amp;quot;)]] x_x&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Ghetto-Fabulous Spicy Tuna a la Waldrop]]* (!)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Panko-Breaded Fish with Ginger Sauce]] (_!_)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Black Bean Sauce Pork Roast, Courtesy of Marti]] (_!_)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Flippin&#039; Sweet Spinach Dip]] x_x&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Chicken and Corn Risotto (warning: not for cooks who are ADD)]] (_!_)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Thai Pickles]] (!)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Moderately Nutritious Taco Salad]] (!)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Sexy Homemade Tater Tots]] (!)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[&amp;quot;Toss My&amp;quot; Salad]] (!)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Chicken Turnovers]] (_!_)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[The Cafe Congress&#039; &amp;quot;Heartbreaker&amp;quot; Plate]] x_x&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Beef Stew]] (_!_)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Efficient Broccoli &amp;amp; Rice]]* (!)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Holy-Crap-Good Cornbread]]* (!)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Poky Salad]]* (!)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Cafe-Style Chicken &amp;amp; Broccoli Alfredo]]* x_x&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Lo Mai Gai (Lotus-wrapped Chicken with Sticky Rice)]] (_!_)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Soup for a Sick Day]]&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Ghetto-Fraiche Lemon Tofu]]* (_!_)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Ghetto Coconut Noodle Soup]]* (_!_)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Take Me to Your Mama&#039;s for Rice &amp;amp; Beans]]&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Cruelty-free Bolognese Sauce]]&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Fake Thai Veggies]]&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Hoity Toity Farm-to-Table Frittata]]&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Total Flex-Cooking Lasagna From Scratch]]... but it&#039;s only mad flexin&#039; if you make it on a weeknight after work and don&#039;t start cooking until after 7pm.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Bagels from that stupid fucking long recipe]]&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Definitive Brisket Recipe]]&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Lotus Root Soup]]&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Barb&#039;s Scalloped Potatoes are F*cked!]]&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Decorative Gourd Seasonal Dish]]&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Chicken and Dumplings]]&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
==Dessert==&lt;br /&gt;
[[Pie Crust]] (__!__)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Blackberry-Blueberry Pie]] (_!_)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Apple Pie]] (_!_)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Peach Pie with Star Anise]] (_!_)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Ginger Ice Cream]] (_!_)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Basil Ice Cream]] (_!_)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Krapp (Flambe)]] (__!__)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Dark Chocolate Cake]] (__!__)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Litterbox Cake]] (__!__)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Emme&#039;s Rum Balls]] (_!_)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Arschwein-Cookies]] (_!_)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Father-Hating-and-Shame Cookies]] (_!_)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Goth-Flavored Banana Bread]] (!)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[The Best Carrot Cake Ever, According to Two California Hippies]] (!)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Sun-Ripened Mixed New Galen Field Browns]] (_!_)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Bienenstich]] x_x&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Pandan-Banana Cake]] (_!_)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Delicious Fiber Bomb Bars]]* (!)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Hilary&#039;s Plum Torte]] (_!_)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Chocolate Oatmeal Cake]] (_!_)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Baked Apple-Thing]] (__!__)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Amanda&#039;s Mom&#039;s Cake]] (Red Velvet Cake filled with Grand Marnier-soaked Strawberries, covered in Homemade Creamcheese Frosting, Coconut and Almond Flakes) x_x&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Horror at Pompeii (Rice Krispy Treats)]]* (__!__)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Perfect 10 Legendary Munchies-Satisfying Cranberry Chocolate Chip Muffins]] (__!__)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Hello Kitty Cake Pops]]&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Ghetto Microwave Mochi]]&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Baked Raw Cookie Dough]]&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[French Macarons]] (__!__)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Buttercream]] (__!__)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Cranberry Orange Muffins, Jesse Pinkman method]]&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[B&#039;norange Banana Cake]]&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Rose &amp;amp; Herbes de Provence Olive Oil Cake]]&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[But It&#039;s Not Salad Cake]]&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Chocolate Babkallah]]&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Shokupan, bitches!]]&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Rosemary Brown Butter Apple Cake]]&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Lemon Curd Mousse Cake]]&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Sticky Toffee Jujube Pudding]]&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[One-Ramekin Apple Crisp]]&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
==Drinkies==&lt;br /&gt;
[[Tears of Baby Jesus]] (_!_)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Rear of Baby Jesus]] (_!_)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Amaretto Smoothie]] (__!__)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Official Recipe for a Lady DiSaronno]] (_!_)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Dirty Hippie Blackberry-Mango Smoothie]] (!)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[How-I-Got-Registered-To-Vote-In-Cambridge Smoothie]] (!)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Vegan-Friendly Version of the How-I-Got-Registered-To-Vote-In-Cambridge Smoothie]] (!)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Coconut-Pandan Daiquiri]] (Creamy and yet dairy-free! For those of you who don&#039;t want your lactose intolerance flaring up and adding to the morning-after beer shits.) (__!__)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Eggnog (Johnson Family Recipe)]] (__!__)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Roger&#039;s Appletinis]] (!)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Spiced Pear]] (!)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Izzy&#039;s XXX Road Soda]] (!)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Courtney Love]] (!)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Izzy&#039;s Bloody Mary]]&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Cheapo Fruity Mimosa]] (!)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Poolside Sangria]] (!)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Tranny Chaser]]&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[The Main Event Cosmos]]&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Chai Sizzurp]]&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
&#039;&#039;&#039;&amp;lt;u&amp;gt;Le Bunghole Homebrews:&amp;lt;/u&amp;gt;&#039;&#039;&#039;&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Arschwein Beta Version]] (_!_)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Arschwein Version 1.0]] (_!_)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[&amp;quot;Djarum Black&amp;quot; Mead Beta Version]] (_!_)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[The Award-Winning Gargamel]] (_!_)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Infamous Bathtub Mead|Infamous Bathtub Mead (latest recipe has moved here until further notice)]] (_!_)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Viking Breakfast (Bacon Acerglyn)]] (_!_)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
==Misc==&lt;br /&gt;
[[Awesome Fake Satay Sauce]] (_!_)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Mutie&#039;s Honey Butter Recipe]] x_x&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[&amp;quot;Special Sauce&amp;quot;]] x_x&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Guacamole]] (_!_)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Tzatziki]] (!)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Extra-salty Soy-Garlic Marinade]] (__!__)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Extra-salty Soy-Ginger Marinade]] (__!__)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Creamy Fake Vomit]] x_x&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[How To Make a Bacon Candle]] x_x&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Oatmeal-Raisin Cardboard]] (!)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Homemade Turkey Broth]] (_!_)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Bizkits]]* (_!_)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Maple 5-Spice Squash Seeds]]&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
==Zahnnie&#039;s High-Fallutin&#039; Fancy-Pants Cookin&#039; Section==&lt;br /&gt;
With the recipes that follow, you will be able to easily convince your family and friends that you are a totally awesome cook, when in fact you&#039;re just making it up as you go. Never reveal this crucial secret.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[GGZ_Baked Potato Soup | Baked Potato Soup]] so good you just may cream your pants.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[GGZ_Moroccan Lamb | Moroccan Lamb Tagine]]&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[GGZ_Gnocchi | Homemade Gnocchi]]&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[GGZ_SausageLeekRagu | Sausage and Leek Ragu]] to go with the gnocchis. Mmm.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[GGZ_SausageLeekSoup | Sausage and Leek Soup]] inspired by the ragu. For the crockpot for extra laziness!&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[GGZ_Boozesicles | Boozesicles]] made especially by the lovely Zahnnie for Ubernerd&#039;s Tarts &#039;n Vicars/Good-Decisions party&lt;/div&gt;</summary>
		<author><name>Ubernerd</name></author>
	</entry>
	<entry>
		<id>https://wiki.utter-chaos.net/ucwiki/index.php?title=Decorative_Gourd_Seasonal_Dish&amp;diff=17002</id>
		<title>Decorative Gourd Seasonal Dish</title>
		<link rel="alternate" type="text/html" href="https://wiki.utter-chaos.net/ucwiki/index.php?title=Decorative_Gourd_Seasonal_Dish&amp;diff=17002"/>
		<updated>2025-11-27T00:07:37Z</updated>

		<summary type="html">&lt;p&gt;Ubernerd: &lt;/p&gt;
&lt;hr /&gt;
&lt;div&gt;[https://www.mcsweeneys.net/articles/its-decorative-gourd-season-motherfuckers IT&#039;S DECORATIVE GOURD SEASON, MFKRS!!!]&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
Ingredients:&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
1 acorn squash&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
Olive oil (for brushing)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
2 tbsp butter&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
Nutmeg&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
Dried Sage&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
Maple Sizzurp (so New England!)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
Salt&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
Preheat the oven to 400F. Halve and gut the squash (saving the seeds for the [[Maple 5-Spice Squash Seeds|Maple 5-spice Squash Seeds]] recipe). Lay each half cavity-side-up on a baking sheet. Brush each squash half with some olive oil (so the spices stick). Sprinkle on the nutmeg. Pour a healthy amount of maple sizzurp in the cavity of each squash. Add one tbsp hunk of butter into each cavity. Crumble some dried sage into the cavity and salt to taste. Roast for 45-60 minutes (until tender)&lt;/div&gt;</summary>
		<author><name>Ubernerd</name></author>
	</entry>
	<entry>
		<id>https://wiki.utter-chaos.net/ucwiki/index.php?title=Decorative_Gourd_Seasonal_Dish&amp;diff=17001</id>
		<title>Decorative Gourd Seasonal Dish</title>
		<link rel="alternate" type="text/html" href="https://wiki.utter-chaos.net/ucwiki/index.php?title=Decorative_Gourd_Seasonal_Dish&amp;diff=17001"/>
		<updated>2025-11-27T00:05:39Z</updated>

		<summary type="html">&lt;p&gt;Ubernerd: &lt;/p&gt;
&lt;hr /&gt;
&lt;div&gt;[https://www.mcsweeneys.net/articles/its-decorative-gourd-season-motherfuckers IT&#039;S DECORATIVE GOURD SEASON, MFKRS!!!]&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
Ingredients:&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
1 acorn squash&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
Olive oil (for brushing)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
2 tbsp butter&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
Nutmeg&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
Dried Sage&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
Maple Sizzurp (so New England!)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
Salt&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
Preheat the oven to 400F. Halve and gut the squash (saving the seeds for the [https://wiki.utter-chaos.net/ucwiki/index.php?title=Maple_5-Spice_Squash_Seeds Maple 5-spice Squash Seeds] recipe). Lay each half cavity-side-up on a baking sheet. Brush each squash half with some olive oil (so the spices stick). Sprinkle on the nutmeg. Pour a healthy amount of maple sizzurp in the cavity of each squash. Add one tbsp hunk of butter into each cavity. Crumble some dried sage into the cavity and salt to taste. Roast for 45-60 minutes (until tender)&lt;/div&gt;</summary>
		<author><name>Ubernerd</name></author>
	</entry>
	<entry>
		<id>https://wiki.utter-chaos.net/ucwiki/index.php?title=Maple_5-Spice_Squash_Seeds&amp;diff=17000</id>
		<title>Maple 5-Spice Squash Seeds</title>
		<link rel="alternate" type="text/html" href="https://wiki.utter-chaos.net/ucwiki/index.php?title=Maple_5-Spice_Squash_Seeds&amp;diff=17000"/>
		<updated>2025-11-27T00:02:41Z</updated>

		<summary type="html">&lt;p&gt;Ubernerd: Created page with &amp;quot;Never let any of your decorative gourd guts go to waste!  Ingredients:  Squash guts containing seeds  Olive oil  Salt  5 spice  Maple sizzurp   Clean out the seeds from the sq...&amp;quot;&lt;/p&gt;
&lt;hr /&gt;
&lt;div&gt;Never let any of your decorative gourd guts go to waste!&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
Ingredients:&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
Squash guts containing seeds&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
Olive oil&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
Salt&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
5 spice&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
Maple sizzurp&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
Clean out the seeds from the squash guts. This is best done by filling a deep bowl with water, tossing in the guts, and then letting the guts sink the bottom while the seeds float to the top. Now take all the seeds and spread &#039;em out on a paper towel to dry. Maybe stick &#039;em in the fridge overnight for extra dryness. When you&#039;re ready, prep a bowl with ~1tsp olive oil, ~1tsp maple sizzurp, salt, and 5 spice (as you like). Mix all the dry seeds up in there, then spread out on a parchment paper. Bake at 325 for 20 minutes, stirring occasionally to get a nice even roasty-toasty.&lt;/div&gt;</summary>
		<author><name>Ubernerd</name></author>
	</entry>
	<entry>
		<id>https://wiki.utter-chaos.net/ucwiki/index.php?title=One-Ramekin_Apple_Crisp&amp;diff=16999</id>
		<title>One-Ramekin Apple Crisp</title>
		<link rel="alternate" type="text/html" href="https://wiki.utter-chaos.net/ucwiki/index.php?title=One-Ramekin_Apple_Crisp&amp;diff=16999"/>
		<updated>2025-11-26T23:55:55Z</updated>

		<summary type="html">&lt;p&gt;Ubernerd: Created page with &amp;quot;Nobody ever complained about keeping around a container of pre-made apple crisp topping in the fridge. Highly recommend always keeping a container of this shid around for on-d...&amp;quot;&lt;/p&gt;
&lt;hr /&gt;
&lt;div&gt;Nobody ever complained about keeping around a container of pre-made apple crisp topping in the fridge. Highly recommend always keeping a container of this shid around for on-demand ramekin desserts.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
Ingredients:&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
1 cup brown sugar&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
0.75 cup oats&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
0.75 cup flour&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
1 tsp ground cinnamon&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
pinch of salt&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
1 stick of butter (cold, cut into lil 0.25&amp;quot; cubes)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
Some apples (cut up into little cubes)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
Couple tbsp Sugar (to toss the apples in)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
Lemon juice (to keep the apples fresh)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
Get a big-ass bowl and 2 forks, or a fork and a knife. You&#039;re gonna be cutting this shit forever and it&#039;s annoying so I recommend making a big batch of crisp topping and keeping around any leftovers. Put in the brown sugar, oats, flour, cinnamon, and salt into said bowl. Stir it around a little to mix. Add in all the little butter cubes and toss to separate. Now take those forks and just cut. Cut that butter into the dry mixture - it will take forever - until it looks like little pea-sized crumbs. Congrats, you have topping and RSI.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
Preheat the oven to 350. Toss the little apple cubes with the sugar and pour into a ramekin/whatever baking dish you&#039;re using. Top with as much crumble as you want. Save the rest for later. Bake for 40-50 minutes (35 for a wee ramekin)&lt;/div&gt;</summary>
		<author><name>Ubernerd</name></author>
	</entry>
	<entry>
		<id>https://wiki.utter-chaos.net/ucwiki/index.php?title=The_Ghetto_Gourmet&amp;diff=16998</id>
		<title>The Ghetto Gourmet</title>
		<link rel="alternate" type="text/html" href="https://wiki.utter-chaos.net/ucwiki/index.php?title=The_Ghetto_Gourmet&amp;diff=16998"/>
		<updated>2025-11-26T23:42:33Z</updated>

		<summary type="html">&lt;p&gt;Ubernerd: &lt;/p&gt;
&lt;hr /&gt;
&lt;div&gt;Welcome to The Ghetto Gourmet; a repository for the recipes that require quantifiable measurements I actually need to look up... and then some experimental stuff in development.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
BUT BEFORE YOU BEGIN, click [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=r9uOQTcDURU&amp;amp;feature=use here]&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
The recipes denoted with an asterisk (*) are considered &amp;quot;Recipes for the Extra Ghetto&amp;quot; and people with little time/skill to devote to preparing healthy meals.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
Per a recent request, I&#039;ve added a section for [[User:Zahnnie|Zahnnie]] (who played a part in The Ghetto Gourmet through the college years) called &amp;quot;Zahnnie&#039;s High-Fallutin&#039; Fancy-Pants Cookin&#039; Section&amp;quot; which is where her collection of &amp;quot;recipes made to impress people&amp;quot; is located. [[User:Zahnnie|Zahnnie]]&#039;s specialty is Moroccan cuisine, and she likes to cook things in her &amp;lt;s&amp;gt;vagine&amp;lt;/s&amp;gt; tagine.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[User:Caryatid|Caryatid]] included an awesome dietary analysis on one of my recipes which I thought added a lot of value. Unfortunately, I don&#039;t have the time to go through each and every recipe and analyze it in through detail, so I have now added simple assicon scaling as an easy way for people to tell which recipes are healthy here and which are... less so. Please refer to the following scale:&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
(!) - Skinny ass. Denotes recipes that would be good as part of a diet for people who are health-conscious or trying to lose weight. Relatively guilt-free eating.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
(_!_) - Normal ass. Denotes recipes that are generally healthy, and meant to be enjoyed regularly.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
(__!__) - Desk ass. Denotes recipes that should probably be enjoyed in moderation, lest you get desk ass.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
x_x - Heart attack. Okay, I know this isn&#039;t technically an assicon, but it&#039;s more accurate than saying &amp;quot;wide load&amp;quot;. Denotes recipes that I would recommend busting out as special treats, because including them as a regular staple in your diet will probably give you a heart attack.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
==Savory Food==&lt;br /&gt;
[[Homemade Gyoza and Wontons]]* (_!_)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Miso Soup]]* (!)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Ghetto-Fantastic Ramen]]* (_!_)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Fried Rice]]* (_!_)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Chicken Pot Pie From Scratch]] (__!__)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Rosemary and Honey Salmon]]* (!)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Beef with Barley Soup]]* (_!_)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Chicken Soup/Plague Remedy]]* (!)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Spicy Ravioli Soup]]* (!)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Rice Porridge/Pukes And Shits Remedy]]* (!)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[&amp;quot;Porchetta Italiana&amp;quot; - Dirty Eye-talian Style Pork Loin]] (_!_)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Eggplant Parmesan]] (__!__)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Bruschetta with Salted Tomatoes]]* (!)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Shredded &amp;quot;Hash Brown&amp;quot; Potato Pile]]* (__!__)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Matar Paneer]] (!)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Paneer Korma]] (_!_)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Kickass Homemade Malaysian Lamb Curry]] (_!_)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Malaysian Chicken Curry that I Made While In AZ]] (_!_)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Improvements on Asian Home Gourmet&#039;s Laksa Recipe]] (_!_)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[That Tasty Pot Roast That I Threw Up Behind Jim&#039;s Tent During The 2007 GNE War]] (_!_)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Moroccan-Spiced Stuffed Mushrooms]]* (_!_)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Salmon in a Puff Pastry Shell]]* (_!_)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Cheese &#039;Tatoes]]* x_x&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Ghetto Cheese Ravioli with Chicken and Pesto Sauce]]* (_!_)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Ghetto Wonton-Noodle Soup]]* (_!_)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Creamy Carrot Soup]] (_!_)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Coconut Chicken Soup]] (_!_)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Ginger and Scallion Steamed Fish]] (!)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Ghetto-Fabulous Ma Po Tofu]] (_!_)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Tea Eggs]] (!)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[&amp;quot;Funky Chinese Herb&amp;quot; Stew]] (_!_)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Toss]]* (__!__)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Why-I-Am-Going-To-Hell Spinach]] (!)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Bill of Larder from the 2008 GNE War, Courtesy of Vance, Thunder Mountain&#039;s Favorite Camp Cookie]] x_x&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Creamy Vegetable-Rice Soup/Fake Risotto]] (_!_)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Tasty Nasi Goreng made with Bamboe&#039;s Nasi Goreng spices]] (_!_)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Penang Curry with Basil]] (_!_)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Daikon Cake]] (_!_)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Heavenly Ghettalian Spaghetti Sauce]] (!)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[See Krong Tord Gratium (Thai style Pork Spareribs with Crispy Garlic and Pepper)]] (__!__)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Takrite Goong (Lemongrass Sticks with Minced Chicken, Prawns, and Pork)]] (__!__)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Salmon and Spinach Quiche (aka &amp;quot;Quiche So Good, She&#039;ll Pretty Much Have To Put Out&amp;quot;)]] x_x&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Ghetto-Fabulous Spicy Tuna a la Waldrop]]* (!)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Panko-Breaded Fish with Ginger Sauce]] (_!_)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Black Bean Sauce Pork Roast, Courtesy of Marti]] (_!_)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Flippin&#039; Sweet Spinach Dip]] x_x&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Chicken and Corn Risotto (warning: not for cooks who are ADD)]] (_!_)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Thai Pickles]] (!)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Moderately Nutritious Taco Salad]] (!)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Sexy Homemade Tater Tots]] (!)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[&amp;quot;Toss My&amp;quot; Salad]] (!)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Chicken Turnovers]] (_!_)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[The Cafe Congress&#039; &amp;quot;Heartbreaker&amp;quot; Plate]] x_x&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Beef Stew]] (_!_)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Efficient Broccoli &amp;amp; Rice]]* (!)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Holy-Crap-Good Cornbread]]* (!)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Poky Salad]]* (!)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Cafe-Style Chicken &amp;amp; Broccoli Alfredo]]* x_x&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Lo Mai Gai (Lotus-wrapped Chicken with Sticky Rice)]] (_!_)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Soup for a Sick Day]]&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Ghetto-Fraiche Lemon Tofu]]* (_!_)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Ghetto Coconut Noodle Soup]]* (_!_)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Take Me to Your Mama&#039;s for Rice &amp;amp; Beans]]&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Cruelty-free Bolognese Sauce]]&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Fake Thai Veggies]]&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Hoity Toity Farm-to-Table Frittata]]&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Total Flex-Cooking Lasagna From Scratch]]... but it&#039;s only mad flexin&#039; if you make it on a weeknight after work and don&#039;t start cooking until after 7pm.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Bagels from that stupid fucking long recipe]]&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Definitive Brisket Recipe]]&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Lotus Root Soup]]&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Barb&#039;s Scalloped Potatoes are F*cked!]]&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Decorative Gourd Seasonal Dish]]&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
==Dessert==&lt;br /&gt;
[[Pie Crust]] (__!__)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Blackberry-Blueberry Pie]] (_!_)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Apple Pie]] (_!_)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Peach Pie with Star Anise]] (_!_)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Ginger Ice Cream]] (_!_)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Basil Ice Cream]] (_!_)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Krapp (Flambe)]] (__!__)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Dark Chocolate Cake]] (__!__)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Litterbox Cake]] (__!__)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Emme&#039;s Rum Balls]] (_!_)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Arschwein-Cookies]] (_!_)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Father-Hating-and-Shame Cookies]] (_!_)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Goth-Flavored Banana Bread]] (!)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[The Best Carrot Cake Ever, According to Two California Hippies]] (!)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Sun-Ripened Mixed New Galen Field Browns]] (_!_)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Bienenstich]] x_x&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Pandan-Banana Cake]] (_!_)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Delicious Fiber Bomb Bars]]* (!)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Hilary&#039;s Plum Torte]] (_!_)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Chocolate Oatmeal Cake]] (_!_)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Baked Apple-Thing]] (__!__)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Amanda&#039;s Mom&#039;s Cake]] (Red Velvet Cake filled with Grand Marnier-soaked Strawberries, covered in Homemade Creamcheese Frosting, Coconut and Almond Flakes) x_x&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Horror at Pompeii (Rice Krispy Treats)]]* (__!__)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Perfect 10 Legendary Munchies-Satisfying Cranberry Chocolate Chip Muffins]] (__!__)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Hello Kitty Cake Pops]]&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Ghetto Microwave Mochi]]&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Baked Raw Cookie Dough]]&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[French Macarons]] (__!__)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Buttercream]] (__!__)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Cranberry Orange Muffins, Jesse Pinkman method]]&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[B&#039;norange Banana Cake]]&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Rose &amp;amp; Herbes de Provence Olive Oil Cake]]&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[But It&#039;s Not Salad Cake]]&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Chocolate Babkallah]]&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Shokupan, bitches!]]&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Rosemary Brown Butter Apple Cake]]&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Lemon Curd Mousse Cake]]&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Sticky Toffee Jujube Pudding]]&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[One-Ramekin Apple Crisp]]&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
==Drinkies==&lt;br /&gt;
[[Tears of Baby Jesus]] (_!_)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Rear of Baby Jesus]] (_!_)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Amaretto Smoothie]] (__!__)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Official Recipe for a Lady DiSaronno]] (_!_)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Dirty Hippie Blackberry-Mango Smoothie]] (!)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[How-I-Got-Registered-To-Vote-In-Cambridge Smoothie]] (!)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Vegan-Friendly Version of the How-I-Got-Registered-To-Vote-In-Cambridge Smoothie]] (!)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Coconut-Pandan Daiquiri]] (Creamy and yet dairy-free! For those of you who don&#039;t want your lactose intolerance flaring up and adding to the morning-after beer shits.) (__!__)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Eggnog (Johnson Family Recipe)]] (__!__)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Roger&#039;s Appletinis]] (!)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Spiced Pear]] (!)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Izzy&#039;s XXX Road Soda]] (!)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Courtney Love]] (!)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Izzy&#039;s Bloody Mary]]&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Cheapo Fruity Mimosa]] (!)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Poolside Sangria]] (!)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Tranny Chaser]]&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[The Main Event Cosmos]]&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Chai Sizzurp]]&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
&#039;&#039;&#039;&amp;lt;u&amp;gt;Le Bunghole Homebrews:&amp;lt;/u&amp;gt;&#039;&#039;&#039;&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Arschwein Beta Version]] (_!_)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Arschwein Version 1.0]] (_!_)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[&amp;quot;Djarum Black&amp;quot; Mead Beta Version]] (_!_)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[The Award-Winning Gargamel]] (_!_)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Infamous Bathtub Mead|Infamous Bathtub Mead (latest recipe has moved here until further notice)]] (_!_)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Viking Breakfast (Bacon Acerglyn)]] (_!_)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
==Misc==&lt;br /&gt;
[[Awesome Fake Satay Sauce]] (_!_)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Mutie&#039;s Honey Butter Recipe]] x_x&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[&amp;quot;Special Sauce&amp;quot;]] x_x&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Guacamole]] (_!_)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Tzatziki]] (!)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Extra-salty Soy-Garlic Marinade]] (__!__)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Extra-salty Soy-Ginger Marinade]] (__!__)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Creamy Fake Vomit]] x_x&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[How To Make a Bacon Candle]] x_x&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Oatmeal-Raisin Cardboard]] (!)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Homemade Turkey Broth]] (_!_)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Bizkits]]* (_!_)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Maple 5-Spice Squash Seeds]]&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
==Zahnnie&#039;s High-Fallutin&#039; Fancy-Pants Cookin&#039; Section==&lt;br /&gt;
With the recipes that follow, you will be able to easily convince your family and friends that you are a totally awesome cook, when in fact you&#039;re just making it up as you go. Never reveal this crucial secret.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[GGZ_Baked Potato Soup | Baked Potato Soup]] so good you just may cream your pants.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[GGZ_Moroccan Lamb | Moroccan Lamb Tagine]]&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[GGZ_Gnocchi | Homemade Gnocchi]]&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[GGZ_SausageLeekRagu | Sausage and Leek Ragu]] to go with the gnocchis. Mmm.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[GGZ_SausageLeekSoup | Sausage and Leek Soup]] inspired by the ragu. For the crockpot for extra laziness!&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[GGZ_Boozesicles | Boozesicles]] made especially by the lovely Zahnnie for Ubernerd&#039;s Tarts &#039;n Vicars/Good-Decisions party&lt;/div&gt;</summary>
		<author><name>Ubernerd</name></author>
	</entry>
	<entry>
		<id>https://wiki.utter-chaos.net/ucwiki/index.php?title=Decorative_Gourd_Seasonal_Dish&amp;diff=16997</id>
		<title>Decorative Gourd Seasonal Dish</title>
		<link rel="alternate" type="text/html" href="https://wiki.utter-chaos.net/ucwiki/index.php?title=Decorative_Gourd_Seasonal_Dish&amp;diff=16997"/>
		<updated>2025-11-26T23:41:18Z</updated>

		<summary type="html">&lt;p&gt;Ubernerd: Created page with &amp;quot;[https://www.mcsweeneys.net/articles/its-decorative-gourd-season-motherfuckers IT&amp;#039;S DECORATIVE GOURD SEASON, MFKRS!!!]  Ingredients:  1 acorn squash  Olive oil (for brushing)...&amp;quot;&lt;/p&gt;
&lt;hr /&gt;
&lt;div&gt;[https://www.mcsweeneys.net/articles/its-decorative-gourd-season-motherfuckers IT&#039;S DECORATIVE GOURD SEASON, MFKRS!!!]&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
Ingredients:&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
1 acorn squash&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
Olive oil (for brushing)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
2 tbsp butter&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
Nutmeg&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
Dried Sage&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
Maple Sizzurp (so New England!)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
Salt&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
Preheat the oven to 400F. Halve and gut the squash (saving the seeds for the [[Maple 5-spice Squash Seeds]] recipe). Lay each half cavity-side-up on a baking sheet. Brush each squash half with some olive oil (so the spices stick). Sprinkle on the nutmeg. Pour a healthy amount of maple sizzurp in the cavity of each squash. Add one tbsp hunk of butter into each cavity. Crumble some dried sage into the cavity and salt to taste. Roast for 45-60 minutes (until tender)&lt;/div&gt;</summary>
		<author><name>Ubernerd</name></author>
	</entry>
	<entry>
		<id>https://wiki.utter-chaos.net/ucwiki/index.php?title=The_Ghetto_Gourmet&amp;diff=16996</id>
		<title>The Ghetto Gourmet</title>
		<link rel="alternate" type="text/html" href="https://wiki.utter-chaos.net/ucwiki/index.php?title=The_Ghetto_Gourmet&amp;diff=16996"/>
		<updated>2025-11-26T23:33:21Z</updated>

		<summary type="html">&lt;p&gt;Ubernerd: &lt;/p&gt;
&lt;hr /&gt;
&lt;div&gt;Welcome to The Ghetto Gourmet; a repository for the recipes that require quantifiable measurements I actually need to look up... and then some experimental stuff in development.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
BUT BEFORE YOU BEGIN, click [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=r9uOQTcDURU&amp;amp;feature=use here]&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
The recipes denoted with an asterisk (*) are considered &amp;quot;Recipes for the Extra Ghetto&amp;quot; and people with little time/skill to devote to preparing healthy meals.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
Per a recent request, I&#039;ve added a section for [[User:Zahnnie|Zahnnie]] (who played a part in The Ghetto Gourmet through the college years) called &amp;quot;Zahnnie&#039;s High-Fallutin&#039; Fancy-Pants Cookin&#039; Section&amp;quot; which is where her collection of &amp;quot;recipes made to impress people&amp;quot; is located. [[User:Zahnnie|Zahnnie]]&#039;s specialty is Moroccan cuisine, and she likes to cook things in her &amp;lt;s&amp;gt;vagine&amp;lt;/s&amp;gt; tagine.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[User:Caryatid|Caryatid]] included an awesome dietary analysis on one of my recipes which I thought added a lot of value. Unfortunately, I don&#039;t have the time to go through each and every recipe and analyze it in through detail, so I have now added simple assicon scaling as an easy way for people to tell which recipes are healthy here and which are... less so. Please refer to the following scale:&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
(!) - Skinny ass. Denotes recipes that would be good as part of a diet for people who are health-conscious or trying to lose weight. Relatively guilt-free eating.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
(_!_) - Normal ass. Denotes recipes that are generally healthy, and meant to be enjoyed regularly.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
(__!__) - Desk ass. Denotes recipes that should probably be enjoyed in moderation, lest you get desk ass.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
x_x - Heart attack. Okay, I know this isn&#039;t technically an assicon, but it&#039;s more accurate than saying &amp;quot;wide load&amp;quot;. Denotes recipes that I would recommend busting out as special treats, because including them as a regular staple in your diet will probably give you a heart attack.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
==Savory Food==&lt;br /&gt;
[[Homemade Gyoza and Wontons]]* (_!_)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Miso Soup]]* (!)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Ghetto-Fantastic Ramen]]* (_!_)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Fried Rice]]* (_!_)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Chicken Pot Pie From Scratch]] (__!__)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Rosemary and Honey Salmon]]* (!)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Beef with Barley Soup]]* (_!_)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Chicken Soup/Plague Remedy]]* (!)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Spicy Ravioli Soup]]* (!)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Rice Porridge/Pukes And Shits Remedy]]* (!)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[&amp;quot;Porchetta Italiana&amp;quot; - Dirty Eye-talian Style Pork Loin]] (_!_)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Eggplant Parmesan]] (__!__)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Bruschetta with Salted Tomatoes]]* (!)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Shredded &amp;quot;Hash Brown&amp;quot; Potato Pile]]* (__!__)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Matar Paneer]] (!)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Paneer Korma]] (_!_)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Kickass Homemade Malaysian Lamb Curry]] (_!_)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Malaysian Chicken Curry that I Made While In AZ]] (_!_)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Improvements on Asian Home Gourmet&#039;s Laksa Recipe]] (_!_)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[That Tasty Pot Roast That I Threw Up Behind Jim&#039;s Tent During The 2007 GNE War]] (_!_)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Moroccan-Spiced Stuffed Mushrooms]]* (_!_)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Salmon in a Puff Pastry Shell]]* (_!_)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Cheese &#039;Tatoes]]* x_x&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Ghetto Cheese Ravioli with Chicken and Pesto Sauce]]* (_!_)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Ghetto Wonton-Noodle Soup]]* (_!_)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Creamy Carrot Soup]] (_!_)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Coconut Chicken Soup]] (_!_)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Ginger and Scallion Steamed Fish]] (!)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Ghetto-Fabulous Ma Po Tofu]] (_!_)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Tea Eggs]] (!)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[&amp;quot;Funky Chinese Herb&amp;quot; Stew]] (_!_)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Toss]]* (__!__)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Why-I-Am-Going-To-Hell Spinach]] (!)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Bill of Larder from the 2008 GNE War, Courtesy of Vance, Thunder Mountain&#039;s Favorite Camp Cookie]] x_x&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Creamy Vegetable-Rice Soup/Fake Risotto]] (_!_)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Tasty Nasi Goreng made with Bamboe&#039;s Nasi Goreng spices]] (_!_)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Penang Curry with Basil]] (_!_)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Daikon Cake]] (_!_)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Heavenly Ghettalian Spaghetti Sauce]] (!)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[See Krong Tord Gratium (Thai style Pork Spareribs with Crispy Garlic and Pepper)]] (__!__)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Takrite Goong (Lemongrass Sticks with Minced Chicken, Prawns, and Pork)]] (__!__)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Salmon and Spinach Quiche (aka &amp;quot;Quiche So Good, She&#039;ll Pretty Much Have To Put Out&amp;quot;)]] x_x&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Ghetto-Fabulous Spicy Tuna a la Waldrop]]* (!)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Panko-Breaded Fish with Ginger Sauce]] (_!_)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Black Bean Sauce Pork Roast, Courtesy of Marti]] (_!_)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Flippin&#039; Sweet Spinach Dip]] x_x&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Chicken and Corn Risotto (warning: not for cooks who are ADD)]] (_!_)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Thai Pickles]] (!)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Moderately Nutritious Taco Salad]] (!)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Sexy Homemade Tater Tots]] (!)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[&amp;quot;Toss My&amp;quot; Salad]] (!)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Chicken Turnovers]] (_!_)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[The Cafe Congress&#039; &amp;quot;Heartbreaker&amp;quot; Plate]] x_x&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Beef Stew]] (_!_)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Efficient Broccoli &amp;amp; Rice]]* (!)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Holy-Crap-Good Cornbread]]* (!)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Poky Salad]]* (!)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Cafe-Style Chicken &amp;amp; Broccoli Alfredo]]* x_x&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Lo Mai Gai (Lotus-wrapped Chicken with Sticky Rice)]] (_!_)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Soup for a Sick Day]]&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Ghetto-Fraiche Lemon Tofu]]* (_!_)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Ghetto Coconut Noodle Soup]]* (_!_)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Take Me to Your Mama&#039;s for Rice &amp;amp; Beans]]&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Cruelty-free Bolognese Sauce]]&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Fake Thai Veggies]]&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Hoity Toity Farm-to-Table Frittata]]&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Total Flex-Cooking Lasagna From Scratch]]... but it&#039;s only mad flexin&#039; if you make it on a weeknight after work and don&#039;t start cooking until after 7pm.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Bagels from that stupid fucking long recipe]]&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Definitive Brisket Recipe]]&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Lotus Root Soup]]&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Barb&#039;s Scalloped Potatoes are F*cked!]]&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Decorative Gourd Seasonal Dish]]&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
==Dessert==&lt;br /&gt;
[[Pie Crust]] (__!__)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Blackberry-Blueberry Pie]] (_!_)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Apple Pie]] (_!_)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Peach Pie with Star Anise]] (_!_)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Ginger Ice Cream]] (_!_)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Basil Ice Cream]] (_!_)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Krapp (Flambe)]] (__!__)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Dark Chocolate Cake]] (__!__)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Litterbox Cake]] (__!__)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Emme&#039;s Rum Balls]] (_!_)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Arschwein-Cookies]] (_!_)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Father-Hating-and-Shame Cookies]] (_!_)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Goth-Flavored Banana Bread]] (!)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[The Best Carrot Cake Ever, According to Two California Hippies]] (!)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Sun-Ripened Mixed New Galen Field Browns]] (_!_)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Bienenstich]] x_x&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Pandan-Banana Cake]] (_!_)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Delicious Fiber Bomb Bars]]* (!)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Hilary&#039;s Plum Torte]] (_!_)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Chocolate Oatmeal Cake]] (_!_)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Baked Apple-Thing]] (__!__)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Amanda&#039;s Mom&#039;s Cake]] (Red Velvet Cake filled with Grand Marnier-soaked Strawberries, covered in Homemade Creamcheese Frosting, Coconut and Almond Flakes) x_x&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Horror at Pompeii (Rice Krispy Treats)]]* (__!__)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Perfect 10 Legendary Munchies-Satisfying Cranberry Chocolate Chip Muffins]] (__!__)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Hello Kitty Cake Pops]]&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Ghetto Microwave Mochi]]&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Baked Raw Cookie Dough]]&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[French Macarons]] (__!__)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Buttercream]] (__!__)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Cranberry Orange Muffins, Jesse Pinkman method]]&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[B&#039;norange Banana Cake]]&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Rose &amp;amp; Herbes de Provence Olive Oil Cake]]&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[But It&#039;s Not Salad Cake]]&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Chocolate Babkallah]]&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Shokupan, bitches!]]&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Rosemary Brown Butter Apple Cake]]&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Lemon Curd Mousse Cake]]&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Sticky Toffee Jujube Pudding]]&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[One-Ramekin Apple Crisp]]&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
==Drinkies==&lt;br /&gt;
[[Tears of Baby Jesus]] (_!_)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Rear of Baby Jesus]] (_!_)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Amaretto Smoothie]] (__!__)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Official Recipe for a Lady DiSaronno]] (_!_)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Dirty Hippie Blackberry-Mango Smoothie]] (!)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[How-I-Got-Registered-To-Vote-In-Cambridge Smoothie]] (!)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Vegan-Friendly Version of the How-I-Got-Registered-To-Vote-In-Cambridge Smoothie]] (!)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Coconut-Pandan Daiquiri]] (Creamy and yet dairy-free! For those of you who don&#039;t want your lactose intolerance flaring up and adding to the morning-after beer shits.) (__!__)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Eggnog (Johnson Family Recipe)]] (__!__)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Roger&#039;s Appletinis]] (!)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Spiced Pear]] (!)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Izzy&#039;s XXX Road Soda]] (!)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Courtney Love]] (!)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Izzy&#039;s Bloody Mary]]&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Cheapo Fruity Mimosa]] (!)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Poolside Sangria]] (!)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Tranny Chaser]]&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[The Main Event Cosmos]]&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Chai Sizzurp]]&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
&#039;&#039;&#039;&amp;lt;u&amp;gt;Le Bunghole Homebrews:&amp;lt;/u&amp;gt;&#039;&#039;&#039;&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Arschwein Beta Version]] (_!_)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Arschwein Version 1.0]] (_!_)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[&amp;quot;Djarum Black&amp;quot; Mead Beta Version]] (_!_)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[The Award-Winning Gargamel]] (_!_)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Infamous Bathtub Mead|Infamous Bathtub Mead (latest recipe has moved here until further notice)]] (_!_)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Viking Breakfast (Bacon Acerglyn)]] (_!_)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
==Misc==&lt;br /&gt;
[[Awesome Fake Satay Sauce]] (_!_)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Mutie&#039;s Honey Butter Recipe]] x_x&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[&amp;quot;Special Sauce&amp;quot;]] x_x&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Guacamole]] (_!_)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Tzatziki]] (!)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Extra-salty Soy-Garlic Marinade]] (__!__)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Extra-salty Soy-Ginger Marinade]] (__!__)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Creamy Fake Vomit]] x_x&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[How To Make a Bacon Candle]] x_x&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Oatmeal-Raisin Cardboard]] (!)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Homemade Turkey Broth]] (_!_)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Bizkits]]* (_!_)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
==Zahnnie&#039;s High-Fallutin&#039; Fancy-Pants Cookin&#039; Section==&lt;br /&gt;
With the recipes that follow, you will be able to easily convince your family and friends that you are a totally awesome cook, when in fact you&#039;re just making it up as you go. Never reveal this crucial secret.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[GGZ_Baked Potato Soup | Baked Potato Soup]] so good you just may cream your pants.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[GGZ_Moroccan Lamb | Moroccan Lamb Tagine]]&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[GGZ_Gnocchi | Homemade Gnocchi]]&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[GGZ_SausageLeekRagu | Sausage and Leek Ragu]] to go with the gnocchis. Mmm.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[GGZ_SausageLeekSoup | Sausage and Leek Soup]] inspired by the ragu. For the crockpot for extra laziness!&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[GGZ_Boozesicles | Boozesicles]] made especially by the lovely Zahnnie for Ubernerd&#039;s Tarts &#039;n Vicars/Good-Decisions party&lt;/div&gt;</summary>
		<author><name>Ubernerd</name></author>
	</entry>
	<entry>
		<id>https://wiki.utter-chaos.net/ucwiki/index.php?title=Main_Page&amp;diff=16995</id>
		<title>Main Page</title>
		<link rel="alternate" type="text/html" href="https://wiki.utter-chaos.net/ucwiki/index.php?title=Main_Page&amp;diff=16995"/>
		<updated>2025-11-26T23:25:56Z</updated>

		<summary type="html">&lt;p&gt;Ubernerd: &lt;/p&gt;
&lt;hr /&gt;
&lt;div&gt;__NOEDITSECTION__&lt;br /&gt;
Welcome to the &#039;&#039;Utter Chaos Wiki&#039;&#039;. A place where we subject our ideas upon the unsuspecting web audience (yeah right). Now running on server #5.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
==Deities of Utter Chaos==&lt;br /&gt;
===[[Over Utter Chaos]]===&lt;br /&gt;
*Kristin&lt;br /&gt;
*[[User:Loken|Loken]]&lt;br /&gt;
**Kayley&lt;br /&gt;
*Tony&lt;br /&gt;
*Mike&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
===[[Under Utter Chaos]]===&lt;br /&gt;
*[[User:Zahnnie|Zahnnie]]&lt;br /&gt;
**Jerry&lt;br /&gt;
**Boris&lt;br /&gt;
**Natasha&lt;br /&gt;
*Brian&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
===[[Utter Chaos South]]===&lt;br /&gt;
*[[User:Morrigu|Morrigu]]&lt;br /&gt;
*[[User:Ratri|Ratri]]&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
===[[Hyrule]]===&lt;br /&gt;
*[[User:Nybble|Nybble]]&lt;br /&gt;
*[[User:Aurora|Aurora]]&lt;br /&gt;
*[[Locke]]&lt;br /&gt;
**[[Pixel|Pixel]]&lt;br /&gt;
**[[Zelda|Zelda]]&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
===[[Union Church|Caritas]]===&lt;br /&gt;
*[[User:Caryatid|Caryatid]]&lt;br /&gt;
**Violet&lt;br /&gt;
&amp;lt;i&amp;gt;In Memoriam...&amp;lt;/i&amp;gt;&lt;br /&gt;
**[[User:Diva|Diva]]&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
===Friends of Utter Chaos===&lt;br /&gt;
*[[User:Chadius|Chadius]]&lt;br /&gt;
*[[User:Chmrr|Chmrr]]&lt;br /&gt;
*[[User:Kit|Kit]]&lt;br /&gt;
*[[User:Rykilde|Rykilde]]&lt;br /&gt;
*[[User:Symmetry|Symmetry]]&lt;br /&gt;
*[[User:Vorsaga|Vorsaga]]&lt;br /&gt;
*Dani&lt;br /&gt;
*[[User:Boom|Boom]]&lt;br /&gt;
*[[User:Rowena|Rowena]]&lt;br /&gt;
*Michelle&lt;br /&gt;
*Anthony&lt;br /&gt;
**Pip&lt;br /&gt;
**Finn&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
====The Duchy====&lt;br /&gt;
*[[User:Griffin|Griffin]]&lt;br /&gt;
*[[User:Shallowmore| Shallowmore]]&lt;br /&gt;
**Bigby&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
====LOL====&lt;br /&gt;
*[[User:sinic|Sinic]]&lt;br /&gt;
*[[User:Pixie|Pixie]]&lt;br /&gt;
**[[Charlie]]&lt;br /&gt;
**[[Helo]]&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
====[[Maison Derriere]]====&lt;br /&gt;
*[[User:Ubernerd|Ubernerd]]&lt;br /&gt;
**Blackberry&lt;br /&gt;
The Super Giardia Bros:&lt;br /&gt;
**Lychee&lt;br /&gt;
**Grapefruit&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
====Grey Citadel====&lt;br /&gt;
*[[User:Benmv|Benmv &amp;amp; Jenmv &amp;amp; Ianmv]]&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
====UC Left Coast====&lt;br /&gt;
*[[User:Valmo|Valmo]]&lt;br /&gt;
*[[User:Ardonite|Ardonite]]&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
==Bad Ideas at Utter Chaos==&lt;br /&gt;
*[[Bad Drawing Ideas]]&lt;br /&gt;
*[[Bad Wedding Ideas]]&lt;br /&gt;
*[[Bad Quotes]]&lt;br /&gt;
*[[Bad Proposal Ideas]] (or why [[User:Zahnnie|Zahnnie]] and [[User:Aurora|Aurora]] really shouldn&#039;t work together)&lt;br /&gt;
*[[Bad Wiki Ideas]]&lt;br /&gt;
*[[Bad Party Ideas]]&lt;br /&gt;
*[[Bad Video Game Ideas]]&lt;br /&gt;
*[[Bad Name-the-Original Game]]&lt;br /&gt;
*[[Bad Web Comic Ideas]]&lt;br /&gt;
*[[The Game At Our Level: Main|Webcomic, The Game At Our Level]]&lt;br /&gt;
*[[Hub High: Main|The Hub High School]]&lt;br /&gt;
*[[UC MUD]]&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
==Events at Utter Chaos==&lt;br /&gt;
===Role Playing===&lt;br /&gt;
*[[All Dem Teams]]&lt;br /&gt;
*[[The Hub]]&lt;br /&gt;
*[[The Hub 2]]&lt;br /&gt;
*[[Not the Hub]] (really creative name, isn&#039;t it?)&lt;br /&gt;
*[[Dino Mech]]&lt;br /&gt;
*[[Nature Walk]]&lt;br /&gt;
*[[Utter Chaos]] (Our White Wolf game which doesn&#039;t really have a name)&lt;br /&gt;
*[[Alpha Run|Alpha]]-Bravo, which became &#039;&#039;The Longest Road&#039;&#039;&lt;br /&gt;
*[[Longest Road]]&lt;br /&gt;
*[[Chadius:_TOA:_Main|TOA]]&lt;br /&gt;
*[[The Wanderers]] (An Alternity game set in the distant verge of the galaxy)&lt;br /&gt;
*[[The Z Team]]&lt;br /&gt;
*[[Super Ninja Squad]]&lt;br /&gt;
*[[EFFighters]]&lt;br /&gt;
*[[No]]&lt;br /&gt;
*[[DivineDetritus]] &lt;br /&gt;
===Parties===&lt;br /&gt;
*[[Thanksgiving 2010]]&lt;br /&gt;
*[[Halloween Party 2010]]&lt;br /&gt;
*[[Halloween Party 2009]]&lt;br /&gt;
*[[Ubernerd&#039;s Drink-Until-You-Soil-Yourself Going-Away Bash 2009 - AKA: The Good Decision Party]]&lt;br /&gt;
*[[Winter-een-mas 2009]]&lt;br /&gt;
*[[Gangbang Christmas 2008]]&lt;br /&gt;
*[[Halloween Party 2008]]&lt;br /&gt;
*[[Winter-een-mas 2008]]&lt;br /&gt;
*[[Gangbang Christmas 2007]]&lt;br /&gt;
*[[Thanksgiving 2007]]&lt;br /&gt;
*[[Winter-een-mas 2007]]&lt;br /&gt;
*[[Gangbang Christmas 2006]]&lt;br /&gt;
*[[Thanksgiving 2006]]&lt;br /&gt;
*[[Halloween Party 2006]]&lt;br /&gt;
*[[Zahnnie Becomes a Goddess 2006]]&lt;br /&gt;
*[[Mysterious Party 2006]]&lt;br /&gt;
*[[Gangbang Christmas 2005]]&lt;br /&gt;
*[[Halloween Party 2005]]&lt;br /&gt;
*[[Wine Drinking Party 2005]]&lt;br /&gt;
*[[Winter-een-mas 2005]]&lt;br /&gt;
*[[Christmas Party 2004]]&lt;br /&gt;
*[[Halloween Party 2004]]&lt;br /&gt;
*IDEAS NEEDED: [[Chocolate Tasting Party]]&lt;br /&gt;
*IDEAS NEEDED: [[Pizza Party]]&lt;br /&gt;
*[[Girly Night TV|Girly Night TV at Caryatid&#039;s Apartment]]&lt;br /&gt;
*[[Utter Chaos Completed Puzzles|Puzzles for Utter Chaos!]]&lt;br /&gt;
*[[Guy Night|Guy Night at UC South]]&lt;br /&gt;
*[[Thursgay Night Television]]&lt;br /&gt;
===Monster Ranches===&lt;br /&gt;
*[[Aurora&#039;s Ranch]]&lt;br /&gt;
*[[Ratri&#039;s Ranch]]&lt;br /&gt;
*[[Morrigu&#039;s Ranch]]&lt;br /&gt;
*[[Ardonite&#039;s Ranch]]&lt;br /&gt;
*[[Zahnnie&#039;s Ranch]]&lt;br /&gt;
==Misc.==&lt;br /&gt;
*[[UtterChaosEmail]]&lt;/div&gt;</summary>
		<author><name>Ubernerd</name></author>
	</entry>
	<entry>
		<id>https://wiki.utter-chaos.net/ucwiki/index.php?title=Barb%27s_Scalloped_Potatoes_are_F*cked!&amp;diff=16994</id>
		<title>Barb&#039;s Scalloped Potatoes are F*cked!</title>
		<link rel="alternate" type="text/html" href="https://wiki.utter-chaos.net/ucwiki/index.php?title=Barb%27s_Scalloped_Potatoes_are_F*cked!&amp;diff=16994"/>
		<updated>2025-11-26T23:24:18Z</updated>

		<summary type="html">&lt;p&gt;Ubernerd: Created page with &amp;quot;&amp;quot;They&amp;#039;re fantastic, Barb.&amp;quot;  Ingredients:  5 tbsp butter  Several garlic cloves  Salt (to taste)  Pepper (to taste)  ~2 lbs red potatoes  2 cups half and half (I mean, you can...&amp;quot;&lt;/p&gt;
&lt;hr /&gt;
&lt;div&gt;&amp;quot;They&#039;re fantastic, Barb.&amp;quot;&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
Ingredients:&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
5 tbsp butter&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
Several garlic cloves&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
Salt (to taste)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
Pepper (to taste)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
~2 lbs red potatoes&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
2 cups half and half (I mean, you can just use heavy cream and toss a little water in too if you want. Milk in the US is just white water anyway)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
Nutmeg (some)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
1 cup grated cheese&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
Preheat the ol&#039; oven to 400F. Rub down a baking pan with a tablespoon of that butter. Smash up that garlic real fine and huck it into a pot with the half and half, remaining butter, salt &amp;amp; pepper, and a little nutmeg. Toss in the potatoes. Cook the potatoes in the cream at a medium boil for 8 min. Pour it all into that baking dish. Top it with the cheese and bake for 30 min until the cheese on top is nice &#039;n good.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
If you want to make ahead, you can load up the potato dish and then keep it in the fridge overnight. Thaw and then chuck it in the oven to reheat (but it&#039;s more of a pain in the ass to judge how long it&#039;ll take with this fridge method, in my opinion)&lt;/div&gt;</summary>
		<author><name>Ubernerd</name></author>
	</entry>
	<entry>
		<id>https://wiki.utter-chaos.net/ucwiki/index.php?title=The_Ghetto_Gourmet&amp;diff=16993</id>
		<title>The Ghetto Gourmet</title>
		<link rel="alternate" type="text/html" href="https://wiki.utter-chaos.net/ucwiki/index.php?title=The_Ghetto_Gourmet&amp;diff=16993"/>
		<updated>2025-11-26T23:14:19Z</updated>

		<summary type="html">&lt;p&gt;Ubernerd: &lt;/p&gt;
&lt;hr /&gt;
&lt;div&gt;Welcome to The Ghetto Gourmet; a repository for the recipes that require quantifiable measurements I actually need to look up... and then some experimental stuff in development.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
BUT BEFORE YOU BEGIN, click [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=r9uOQTcDURU&amp;amp;feature=use here]&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
The recipes denoted with an asterisk (*) are considered &amp;quot;Recipes for the Extra Ghetto&amp;quot; and people with little time/skill to devote to preparing healthy meals.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
Per a recent request, I&#039;ve added a section for [[User:Zahnnie|Zahnnie]] (who played a part in The Ghetto Gourmet through the college years) called &amp;quot;Zahnnie&#039;s High-Fallutin&#039; Fancy-Pants Cookin&#039; Section&amp;quot; which is where her collection of &amp;quot;recipes made to impress people&amp;quot; is located. [[User:Zahnnie|Zahnnie]]&#039;s specialty is Moroccan cuisine, and she likes to cook things in her &amp;lt;s&amp;gt;vagine&amp;lt;/s&amp;gt; tagine.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[User:Caryatid|Caryatid]] included an awesome dietary analysis on one of my recipes which I thought added a lot of value. Unfortunately, I don&#039;t have the time to go through each and every recipe and analyze it in through detail, so I have now added simple assicon scaling as an easy way for people to tell which recipes are healthy here and which are... less so. Please refer to the following scale:&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
(!) - Skinny ass. Denotes recipes that would be good as part of a diet for people who are health-conscious or trying to lose weight. Relatively guilt-free eating.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
(_!_) - Normal ass. Denotes recipes that are generally healthy, and meant to be enjoyed regularly.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
(__!__) - Desk ass. Denotes recipes that should probably be enjoyed in moderation, lest you get desk ass.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
x_x - Heart attack. Okay, I know this isn&#039;t technically an assicon, but it&#039;s more accurate than saying &amp;quot;wide load&amp;quot;. Denotes recipes that I would recommend busting out as special treats, because including them as a regular staple in your diet will probably give you a heart attack.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
==Savory Food==&lt;br /&gt;
[[Homemade Gyoza and Wontons]]* (_!_)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Miso Soup]]* (!)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Ghetto-Fantastic Ramen]]* (_!_)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Fried Rice]]* (_!_)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Chicken Pot Pie From Scratch]] (__!__)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Rosemary and Honey Salmon]]* (!)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Beef with Barley Soup]]* (_!_)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Chicken Soup/Plague Remedy]]* (!)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Spicy Ravioli Soup]]* (!)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Rice Porridge/Pukes And Shits Remedy]]* (!)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[&amp;quot;Porchetta Italiana&amp;quot; - Dirty Eye-talian Style Pork Loin]] (_!_)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Eggplant Parmesan]] (__!__)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Bruschetta with Salted Tomatoes]]* (!)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Shredded &amp;quot;Hash Brown&amp;quot; Potato Pile]]* (__!__)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Matar Paneer]] (!)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Paneer Korma]] (_!_)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Kickass Homemade Malaysian Lamb Curry]] (_!_)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Malaysian Chicken Curry that I Made While In AZ]] (_!_)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Improvements on Asian Home Gourmet&#039;s Laksa Recipe]] (_!_)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[That Tasty Pot Roast That I Threw Up Behind Jim&#039;s Tent During The 2007 GNE War]] (_!_)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Moroccan-Spiced Stuffed Mushrooms]]* (_!_)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Salmon in a Puff Pastry Shell]]* (_!_)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Cheese &#039;Tatoes]]* x_x&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Ghetto Cheese Ravioli with Chicken and Pesto Sauce]]* (_!_)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Ghetto Wonton-Noodle Soup]]* (_!_)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Creamy Carrot Soup]] (_!_)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Coconut Chicken Soup]] (_!_)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Ginger and Scallion Steamed Fish]] (!)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Ghetto-Fabulous Ma Po Tofu]] (_!_)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Tea Eggs]] (!)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[&amp;quot;Funky Chinese Herb&amp;quot; Stew]] (_!_)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Toss]]* (__!__)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Why-I-Am-Going-To-Hell Spinach]] (!)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Bill of Larder from the 2008 GNE War, Courtesy of Vance, Thunder Mountain&#039;s Favorite Camp Cookie]] x_x&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Creamy Vegetable-Rice Soup/Fake Risotto]] (_!_)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Tasty Nasi Goreng made with Bamboe&#039;s Nasi Goreng spices]] (_!_)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Penang Curry with Basil]] (_!_)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Daikon Cake]] (_!_)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Heavenly Ghettalian Spaghetti Sauce]] (!)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[See Krong Tord Gratium (Thai style Pork Spareribs with Crispy Garlic and Pepper)]] (__!__)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Takrite Goong (Lemongrass Sticks with Minced Chicken, Prawns, and Pork)]] (__!__)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Salmon and Spinach Quiche (aka &amp;quot;Quiche So Good, She&#039;ll Pretty Much Have To Put Out&amp;quot;)]] x_x&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Ghetto-Fabulous Spicy Tuna a la Waldrop]]* (!)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Panko-Breaded Fish with Ginger Sauce]] (_!_)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Black Bean Sauce Pork Roast, Courtesy of Marti]] (_!_)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Flippin&#039; Sweet Spinach Dip]] x_x&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Chicken and Corn Risotto (warning: not for cooks who are ADD)]] (_!_)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Thai Pickles]] (!)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Moderately Nutritious Taco Salad]] (!)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Sexy Homemade Tater Tots]] (!)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[&amp;quot;Toss My&amp;quot; Salad]] (!)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Chicken Turnovers]] (_!_)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[The Cafe Congress&#039; &amp;quot;Heartbreaker&amp;quot; Plate]] x_x&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Beef Stew]] (_!_)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Efficient Broccoli &amp;amp; Rice]]* (!)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Holy-Crap-Good Cornbread]]* (!)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Poky Salad]]* (!)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Cafe-Style Chicken &amp;amp; Broccoli Alfredo]]* x_x&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Lo Mai Gai (Lotus-wrapped Chicken with Sticky Rice)]] (_!_)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Soup for a Sick Day]]&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Ghetto-Fraiche Lemon Tofu]]* (_!_)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Ghetto Coconut Noodle Soup]]* (_!_)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Take Me to Your Mama&#039;s for Rice &amp;amp; Beans]]&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Cruelty-free Bolognese Sauce]]&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Fake Thai Veggies]]&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Hoity Toity Farm-to-Table Frittata]]&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Total Flex-Cooking Lasagna From Scratch]]... but it&#039;s only mad flexin&#039; if you make it on a weeknight after work and don&#039;t start cooking until after 7pm.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Bagels from that stupid fucking long recipe]]&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Definitive Brisket Recipe]]&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Lotus Root Soup]]&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Barb&#039;s Scalloped Potatoes are F*cked!]]&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
==Dessert==&lt;br /&gt;
[[Pie Crust]] (__!__)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Blackberry-Blueberry Pie]] (_!_)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Apple Pie]] (_!_)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Peach Pie with Star Anise]] (_!_)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Ginger Ice Cream]] (_!_)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Basil Ice Cream]] (_!_)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Krapp (Flambe)]] (__!__)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Dark Chocolate Cake]] (__!__)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Litterbox Cake]] (__!__)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Emme&#039;s Rum Balls]] (_!_)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Arschwein-Cookies]] (_!_)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Father-Hating-and-Shame Cookies]] (_!_)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Goth-Flavored Banana Bread]] (!)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[The Best Carrot Cake Ever, According to Two California Hippies]] (!)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Sun-Ripened Mixed New Galen Field Browns]] (_!_)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Bienenstich]] x_x&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Pandan-Banana Cake]] (_!_)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Delicious Fiber Bomb Bars]]* (!)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Hilary&#039;s Plum Torte]] (_!_)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Chocolate Oatmeal Cake]] (_!_)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Baked Apple-Thing]] (__!__)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Amanda&#039;s Mom&#039;s Cake]] (Red Velvet Cake filled with Grand Marnier-soaked Strawberries, covered in Homemade Creamcheese Frosting, Coconut and Almond Flakes) x_x&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Horror at Pompeii (Rice Krispy Treats)]]* (__!__)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Perfect 10 Legendary Munchies-Satisfying Cranberry Chocolate Chip Muffins]] (__!__)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Hello Kitty Cake Pops]]&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Ghetto Microwave Mochi]]&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Baked Raw Cookie Dough]]&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[French Macarons]] (__!__)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Buttercream]] (__!__)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Cranberry Orange Muffins, Jesse Pinkman method]]&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[B&#039;norange Banana Cake]]&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Rose &amp;amp; Herbes de Provence Olive Oil Cake]]&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[But It&#039;s Not Salad Cake]]&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Chocolate Babkallah]]&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Shokupan, bitches!]]&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Rosemary Brown Butter Apple Cake]]&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Lemon Curd Mousse Cake]]&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Sticky Toffee Jujube Pudding]]&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
==Drinkies==&lt;br /&gt;
[[Tears of Baby Jesus]] (_!_)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Rear of Baby Jesus]] (_!_)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Amaretto Smoothie]] (__!__)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Official Recipe for a Lady DiSaronno]] (_!_)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Dirty Hippie Blackberry-Mango Smoothie]] (!)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[How-I-Got-Registered-To-Vote-In-Cambridge Smoothie]] (!)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Vegan-Friendly Version of the How-I-Got-Registered-To-Vote-In-Cambridge Smoothie]] (!)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Coconut-Pandan Daiquiri]] (Creamy and yet dairy-free! For those of you who don&#039;t want your lactose intolerance flaring up and adding to the morning-after beer shits.) (__!__)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Eggnog (Johnson Family Recipe)]] (__!__)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Roger&#039;s Appletinis]] (!)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Spiced Pear]] (!)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Izzy&#039;s XXX Road Soda]] (!)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Courtney Love]] (!)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Izzy&#039;s Bloody Mary]]&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Cheapo Fruity Mimosa]] (!)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Poolside Sangria]] (!)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Tranny Chaser]]&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[The Main Event Cosmos]]&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Chai Sizzurp]]&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
&#039;&#039;&#039;&amp;lt;u&amp;gt;Le Bunghole Homebrews:&amp;lt;/u&amp;gt;&#039;&#039;&#039;&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Arschwein Beta Version]] (_!_)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Arschwein Version 1.0]] (_!_)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[&amp;quot;Djarum Black&amp;quot; Mead Beta Version]] (_!_)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[The Award-Winning Gargamel]] (_!_)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Infamous Bathtub Mead|Infamous Bathtub Mead (latest recipe has moved here until further notice)]] (_!_)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Viking Breakfast (Bacon Acerglyn)]] (_!_)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
==Misc==&lt;br /&gt;
[[Awesome Fake Satay Sauce]] (_!_)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Mutie&#039;s Honey Butter Recipe]] x_x&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[&amp;quot;Special Sauce&amp;quot;]] x_x&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Guacamole]] (_!_)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Tzatziki]] (!)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Extra-salty Soy-Garlic Marinade]] (__!__)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Extra-salty Soy-Ginger Marinade]] (__!__)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Creamy Fake Vomit]] x_x&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[How To Make a Bacon Candle]] x_x&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Oatmeal-Raisin Cardboard]] (!)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Homemade Turkey Broth]] (_!_)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Bizkits]]* (_!_)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
==Zahnnie&#039;s High-Fallutin&#039; Fancy-Pants Cookin&#039; Section==&lt;br /&gt;
With the recipes that follow, you will be able to easily convince your family and friends that you are a totally awesome cook, when in fact you&#039;re just making it up as you go. Never reveal this crucial secret.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[GGZ_Baked Potato Soup | Baked Potato Soup]] so good you just may cream your pants.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[GGZ_Moroccan Lamb | Moroccan Lamb Tagine]]&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[GGZ_Gnocchi | Homemade Gnocchi]]&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[GGZ_SausageLeekRagu | Sausage and Leek Ragu]] to go with the gnocchis. Mmm.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[GGZ_SausageLeekSoup | Sausage and Leek Soup]] inspired by the ragu. For the crockpot for extra laziness!&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[GGZ_Boozesicles | Boozesicles]] made especially by the lovely Zahnnie for Ubernerd&#039;s Tarts &#039;n Vicars/Good-Decisions party&lt;/div&gt;</summary>
		<author><name>Ubernerd</name></author>
	</entry>
	<entry>
		<id>https://wiki.utter-chaos.net/ucwiki/index.php?title=Lotus_Root_Soup&amp;diff=16989</id>
		<title>Lotus Root Soup</title>
		<link rel="alternate" type="text/html" href="https://wiki.utter-chaos.net/ucwiki/index.php?title=Lotus_Root_Soup&amp;diff=16989"/>
		<updated>2025-11-09T18:53:32Z</updated>

		<summary type="html">&lt;p&gt;Ubernerd: &lt;/p&gt;
&lt;hr /&gt;
&lt;div&gt;A mishmash of everyone&#039;s Cantonese recipes.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
Ingredients:&lt;br /&gt;
- 1lb Pork spare ribs&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
- Ginger&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
- Jujubes&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
- Garlic cloves&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
- 0.5-1lb Lotus root&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
- 3 quarts water&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
Blanche the pork ribs and toss the first batch of water out. Slice up some ginger, peel some garlic cloves, and get that 12 cups of water boiling. At the very last minute, slice up the lotus root. Shove it all in the Instant Pot and press the &amp;quot;Soup&amp;quot; button. &amp;quot;Soup&amp;quot; it 3 times, salt to taste, and it should have the flavor you want.&lt;/div&gt;</summary>
		<author><name>Ubernerd</name></author>
	</entry>
	<entry>
		<id>https://wiki.utter-chaos.net/ucwiki/index.php?title=Lotus_Root_Soup&amp;diff=16988</id>
		<title>Lotus Root Soup</title>
		<link rel="alternate" type="text/html" href="https://wiki.utter-chaos.net/ucwiki/index.php?title=Lotus_Root_Soup&amp;diff=16988"/>
		<updated>2025-11-08T14:21:36Z</updated>

		<summary type="html">&lt;p&gt;Ubernerd: &lt;/p&gt;
&lt;hr /&gt;
&lt;div&gt;A mishmash of everyone&#039;s Cantonese recipes.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
Ingredients:&lt;br /&gt;
- 2lbs Pork spare ribs&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
- Ginger&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
- Jujubes&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
- Garlic cloves&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
- 1lb Lotus root&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
- 9 cups water&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
Blanche the pork ribs and toss the first batch of water out. Slice up some ginger, peel some garlic cloves, and get that 12 cups of water boiling. At the very last minute, slice up the lotus root. Shove it all in the Instant Pot and press the &amp;quot;Soup&amp;quot; button.&lt;/div&gt;</summary>
		<author><name>Ubernerd</name></author>
	</entry>
	<entry>
		<id>https://wiki.utter-chaos.net/ucwiki/index.php?title=Lotus_Root_Soup&amp;diff=16987</id>
		<title>Lotus Root Soup</title>
		<link rel="alternate" type="text/html" href="https://wiki.utter-chaos.net/ucwiki/index.php?title=Lotus_Root_Soup&amp;diff=16987"/>
		<updated>2025-11-08T14:16:27Z</updated>

		<summary type="html">&lt;p&gt;Ubernerd: Created page with &amp;quot;A mishmash of everyone&amp;#039;s Cantonese recipes.  Ingredients: - 2lbs Pork spare ribs  - Ginger  - Jujubes  - Garlic cloves  - 1lb Lotus root  - 12 cups water  Blanche the pork rib...&amp;quot;&lt;/p&gt;
&lt;hr /&gt;
&lt;div&gt;A mishmash of everyone&#039;s Cantonese recipes.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
Ingredients:&lt;br /&gt;
- 2lbs Pork spare ribs&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
- Ginger&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
- Jujubes&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
- Garlic cloves&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
- 1lb Lotus root&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
- 12 cups water&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
Blanche the pork ribs and toss the first batch of water out. Slice up some ginger, peel some garlic cloves, and get that 12 cups of water boiling. At the very last minute, slice up the lotus root. Shove it all in the Instant Pot and press the &amp;quot;Soup&amp;quot; button.&lt;/div&gt;</summary>
		<author><name>Ubernerd</name></author>
	</entry>
	<entry>
		<id>https://wiki.utter-chaos.net/ucwiki/index.php?title=The_Ghetto_Gourmet&amp;diff=16986</id>
		<title>The Ghetto Gourmet</title>
		<link rel="alternate" type="text/html" href="https://wiki.utter-chaos.net/ucwiki/index.php?title=The_Ghetto_Gourmet&amp;diff=16986"/>
		<updated>2025-11-08T14:12:55Z</updated>

		<summary type="html">&lt;p&gt;Ubernerd: &lt;/p&gt;
&lt;hr /&gt;
&lt;div&gt;Welcome to The Ghetto Gourmet; a repository for the recipes that require quantifiable measurements I actually need to look up... and then some experimental stuff in development.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
BUT BEFORE YOU BEGIN, click [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=r9uOQTcDURU&amp;amp;feature=use here]&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
The recipes denoted with an asterisk (*) are considered &amp;quot;Recipes for the Extra Ghetto&amp;quot; and people with little time/skill to devote to preparing healthy meals.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
Per a recent request, I&#039;ve added a section for [[User:Zahnnie|Zahnnie]] (who played a part in The Ghetto Gourmet through the college years) called &amp;quot;Zahnnie&#039;s High-Fallutin&#039; Fancy-Pants Cookin&#039; Section&amp;quot; which is where her collection of &amp;quot;recipes made to impress people&amp;quot; is located. [[User:Zahnnie|Zahnnie]]&#039;s specialty is Moroccan cuisine, and she likes to cook things in her &amp;lt;s&amp;gt;vagine&amp;lt;/s&amp;gt; tagine.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[User:Caryatid|Caryatid]] included an awesome dietary analysis on one of my recipes which I thought added a lot of value. Unfortunately, I don&#039;t have the time to go through each and every recipe and analyze it in through detail, so I have now added simple assicon scaling as an easy way for people to tell which recipes are healthy here and which are... less so. Please refer to the following scale:&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
(!) - Skinny ass. Denotes recipes that would be good as part of a diet for people who are health-conscious or trying to lose weight. Relatively guilt-free eating.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
(_!_) - Normal ass. Denotes recipes that are generally healthy, and meant to be enjoyed regularly.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
(__!__) - Desk ass. Denotes recipes that should probably be enjoyed in moderation, lest you get desk ass.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
x_x - Heart attack. Okay, I know this isn&#039;t technically an assicon, but it&#039;s more accurate than saying &amp;quot;wide load&amp;quot;. Denotes recipes that I would recommend busting out as special treats, because including them as a regular staple in your diet will probably give you a heart attack.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
==Savory Food==&lt;br /&gt;
[[Homemade Gyoza and Wontons]]* (_!_)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Miso Soup]]* (!)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Ghetto-Fantastic Ramen]]* (_!_)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Fried Rice]]* (_!_)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Chicken Pot Pie From Scratch]] (__!__)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Rosemary and Honey Salmon]]* (!)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Beef with Barley Soup]]* (_!_)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Chicken Soup/Plague Remedy]]* (!)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Spicy Ravioli Soup]]* (!)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Rice Porridge/Pukes And Shits Remedy]]* (!)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[&amp;quot;Porchetta Italiana&amp;quot; - Dirty Eye-talian Style Pork Loin]] (_!_)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Eggplant Parmesan]] (__!__)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Bruschetta with Salted Tomatoes]]* (!)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Shredded &amp;quot;Hash Brown&amp;quot; Potato Pile]]* (__!__)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Matar Paneer]] (!)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Paneer Korma]] (_!_)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Kickass Homemade Malaysian Lamb Curry]] (_!_)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Malaysian Chicken Curry that I Made While In AZ]] (_!_)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Improvements on Asian Home Gourmet&#039;s Laksa Recipe]] (_!_)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[That Tasty Pot Roast That I Threw Up Behind Jim&#039;s Tent During The 2007 GNE War]] (_!_)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Moroccan-Spiced Stuffed Mushrooms]]* (_!_)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Salmon in a Puff Pastry Shell]]* (_!_)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Cheese &#039;Tatoes]]* x_x&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Ghetto Cheese Ravioli with Chicken and Pesto Sauce]]* (_!_)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Ghetto Wonton-Noodle Soup]]* (_!_)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Creamy Carrot Soup]] (_!_)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Coconut Chicken Soup]] (_!_)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Ginger and Scallion Steamed Fish]] (!)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Ghetto-Fabulous Ma Po Tofu]] (_!_)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Tea Eggs]] (!)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[&amp;quot;Funky Chinese Herb&amp;quot; Stew]] (_!_)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Toss]]* (__!__)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Why-I-Am-Going-To-Hell Spinach]] (!)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Bill of Larder from the 2008 GNE War, Courtesy of Vance, Thunder Mountain&#039;s Favorite Camp Cookie]] x_x&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Creamy Vegetable-Rice Soup/Fake Risotto]] (_!_)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Tasty Nasi Goreng made with Bamboe&#039;s Nasi Goreng spices]] (_!_)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Penang Curry with Basil]] (_!_)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Daikon Cake]] (_!_)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Heavenly Ghettalian Spaghetti Sauce]] (!)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[See Krong Tord Gratium (Thai style Pork Spareribs with Crispy Garlic and Pepper)]] (__!__)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Takrite Goong (Lemongrass Sticks with Minced Chicken, Prawns, and Pork)]] (__!__)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Salmon and Spinach Quiche (aka &amp;quot;Quiche So Good, She&#039;ll Pretty Much Have To Put Out&amp;quot;)]] x_x&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Ghetto-Fabulous Spicy Tuna a la Waldrop]]* (!)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Panko-Breaded Fish with Ginger Sauce]] (_!_)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Black Bean Sauce Pork Roast, Courtesy of Marti]] (_!_)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Flippin&#039; Sweet Spinach Dip]] x_x&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Chicken and Corn Risotto (warning: not for cooks who are ADD)]] (_!_)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Thai Pickles]] (!)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Moderately Nutritious Taco Salad]] (!)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Sexy Homemade Tater Tots]] (!)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[&amp;quot;Toss My&amp;quot; Salad]] (!)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Chicken Turnovers]] (_!_)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[The Cafe Congress&#039; &amp;quot;Heartbreaker&amp;quot; Plate]] x_x&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Beef Stew]] (_!_)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Efficient Broccoli &amp;amp; Rice]]* (!)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Holy-Crap-Good Cornbread]]* (!)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Poky Salad]]* (!)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Cafe-Style Chicken &amp;amp; Broccoli Alfredo]]* x_x&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Lo Mai Gai (Lotus-wrapped Chicken with Sticky Rice)]] (_!_)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Soup for a Sick Day]]&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Ghetto-Fraiche Lemon Tofu]]* (_!_)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Ghetto Coconut Noodle Soup]]* (_!_)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Take Me to Your Mama&#039;s for Rice &amp;amp; Beans]]&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Cruelty-free Bolognese Sauce]]&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Fake Thai Veggies]]&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Hoity Toity Farm-to-Table Frittata]]&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Total Flex-Cooking Lasagna From Scratch]]... but it&#039;s only mad flexin&#039; if you make it on a weeknight after work and don&#039;t start cooking until after 7pm.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Bagels from that stupid fucking long recipe]]&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Definitive Brisket Recipe]]&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Lotus Root Soup]]&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
==Dessert==&lt;br /&gt;
[[Pie Crust]] (__!__)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Blackberry-Blueberry Pie]] (_!_)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Apple Pie]] (_!_)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Peach Pie with Star Anise]] (_!_)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Ginger Ice Cream]] (_!_)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Basil Ice Cream]] (_!_)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Krapp (Flambe)]] (__!__)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Dark Chocolate Cake]] (__!__)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Litterbox Cake]] (__!__)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Emme&#039;s Rum Balls]] (_!_)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Arschwein-Cookies]] (_!_)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Father-Hating-and-Shame Cookies]] (_!_)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Goth-Flavored Banana Bread]] (!)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[The Best Carrot Cake Ever, According to Two California Hippies]] (!)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Sun-Ripened Mixed New Galen Field Browns]] (_!_)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Bienenstich]] x_x&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Pandan-Banana Cake]] (_!_)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Delicious Fiber Bomb Bars]]* (!)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Hilary&#039;s Plum Torte]] (_!_)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Chocolate Oatmeal Cake]] (_!_)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Baked Apple-Thing]] (__!__)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Amanda&#039;s Mom&#039;s Cake]] (Red Velvet Cake filled with Grand Marnier-soaked Strawberries, covered in Homemade Creamcheese Frosting, Coconut and Almond Flakes) x_x&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Horror at Pompeii (Rice Krispy Treats)]]* (__!__)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Perfect 10 Legendary Munchies-Satisfying Cranberry Chocolate Chip Muffins]] (__!__)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Hello Kitty Cake Pops]]&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Ghetto Microwave Mochi]]&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Baked Raw Cookie Dough]]&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[French Macarons]] (__!__)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Buttercream]] (__!__)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Cranberry Orange Muffins, Jesse Pinkman method]]&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[B&#039;norange Banana Cake]]&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Rose &amp;amp; Herbes de Provence Olive Oil Cake]]&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[But It&#039;s Not Salad Cake]]&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Chocolate Babkallah]]&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Shokupan, bitches!]]&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Rosemary Brown Butter Apple Cake]]&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Lemon Curd Mousse Cake]]&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Sticky Toffee Jujube Pudding]]&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
==Drinkies==&lt;br /&gt;
[[Tears of Baby Jesus]] (_!_)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Rear of Baby Jesus]] (_!_)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Amaretto Smoothie]] (__!__)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Official Recipe for a Lady DiSaronno]] (_!_)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Dirty Hippie Blackberry-Mango Smoothie]] (!)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[How-I-Got-Registered-To-Vote-In-Cambridge Smoothie]] (!)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Vegan-Friendly Version of the How-I-Got-Registered-To-Vote-In-Cambridge Smoothie]] (!)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Coconut-Pandan Daiquiri]] (Creamy and yet dairy-free! For those of you who don&#039;t want your lactose intolerance flaring up and adding to the morning-after beer shits.) (__!__)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Eggnog (Johnson Family Recipe)]] (__!__)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Roger&#039;s Appletinis]] (!)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Spiced Pear]] (!)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Izzy&#039;s XXX Road Soda]] (!)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Courtney Love]] (!)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Izzy&#039;s Bloody Mary]]&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Cheapo Fruity Mimosa]] (!)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Poolside Sangria]] (!)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Tranny Chaser]]&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[The Main Event Cosmos]]&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Chai Sizzurp]]&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
&#039;&#039;&#039;&amp;lt;u&amp;gt;Le Bunghole Homebrews:&amp;lt;/u&amp;gt;&#039;&#039;&#039;&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Arschwein Beta Version]] (_!_)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Arschwein Version 1.0]] (_!_)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[&amp;quot;Djarum Black&amp;quot; Mead Beta Version]] (_!_)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[The Award-Winning Gargamel]] (_!_)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Infamous Bathtub Mead|Infamous Bathtub Mead (latest recipe has moved here until further notice)]] (_!_)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Viking Breakfast (Bacon Acerglyn)]] (_!_)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
==Misc==&lt;br /&gt;
[[Awesome Fake Satay Sauce]] (_!_)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Mutie&#039;s Honey Butter Recipe]] x_x&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[&amp;quot;Special Sauce&amp;quot;]] x_x&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Guacamole]] (_!_)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Tzatziki]] (!)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Extra-salty Soy-Garlic Marinade]] (__!__)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Extra-salty Soy-Ginger Marinade]] (__!__)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Creamy Fake Vomit]] x_x&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[How To Make a Bacon Candle]] x_x&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Oatmeal-Raisin Cardboard]] (!)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Homemade Turkey Broth]] (_!_)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Bizkits]]* (_!_)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
==Zahnnie&#039;s High-Fallutin&#039; Fancy-Pants Cookin&#039; Section==&lt;br /&gt;
With the recipes that follow, you will be able to easily convince your family and friends that you are a totally awesome cook, when in fact you&#039;re just making it up as you go. Never reveal this crucial secret.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[GGZ_Baked Potato Soup | Baked Potato Soup]] so good you just may cream your pants.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[GGZ_Moroccan Lamb | Moroccan Lamb Tagine]]&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[GGZ_Gnocchi | Homemade Gnocchi]]&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[GGZ_SausageLeekRagu | Sausage and Leek Ragu]] to go with the gnocchis. Mmm.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[GGZ_SausageLeekSoup | Sausage and Leek Soup]] inspired by the ragu. For the crockpot for extra laziness!&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[GGZ_Boozesicles | Boozesicles]] made especially by the lovely Zahnnie for Ubernerd&#039;s Tarts &#039;n Vicars/Good-Decisions party&lt;/div&gt;</summary>
		<author><name>Ubernerd</name></author>
	</entry>
	<entry>
		<id>https://wiki.utter-chaos.net/ucwiki/index.php?title=Sticky_Toffee_Jujube_Pudding&amp;diff=16787</id>
		<title>Sticky Toffee Jujube Pudding</title>
		<link rel="alternate" type="text/html" href="https://wiki.utter-chaos.net/ucwiki/index.php?title=Sticky_Toffee_Jujube_Pudding&amp;diff=16787"/>
		<updated>2025-05-25T23:51:06Z</updated>

		<summary type="html">&lt;p&gt;Ubernerd: &lt;/p&gt;
&lt;hr /&gt;
&lt;div&gt;The thing to do with 2 1/2 weeks of accumulated boiled jujubes from nighttime medicinal teas. It passes the ultimate &amp;quot;not too sweet&amp;quot; test, despite being sticky toffee pudding. Your asian auntie would approve.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
Ingredients:&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
Cake&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
- 517g (ehhh, thereabouts) used jujubes, ground into a paste&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
- 1 tsp baking soda&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
- 0.25 cup brown sugar&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
- 2 tbsp white sugar&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
- 6 tbsp butter (soft is better)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
- 2 eggs&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
- 1.25 cup flour&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
- 1.5 tsp baking powder &lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
Toffee:&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
- 5 tbsp butter&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
- 1 tsp vanilla (who am I kidding? Just splash some in there)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
- 1.5 cups heavy cream&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
- 1 cup brown sugar&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
Start by making the cake. Grease up like 6 ramekins, or 1 6&amp;quot; cake round and 2 ramekins. For the cake, lube up the pan, then apply parchment paper to the bottoms and sides. Cut up the butter into small chunks and blend it in the stand mixer or whatever with the sugar until it&#039;s all creamed together. Add in the 2 eggs and mix till it&#039;s all uniform and wet. Sprinkle the flour on top, followed by the baking powder. Give it a whirl until it&#039;s a uniform paste. Stir the baking powder into the jujube paste, then add that to the batter and mix until it&#039;s all nicely incorporated. Bake in a convection oven at 320 for 32 minutes for ramekins, 42 minutes for the cake.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
While it&#039;s baking, make the toffee by combining all the toffee ingredients in a pot, melting it down, and bringing it to a simmer until it&#039;s thickened a bit.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
When you take the cakes out, stab the shit out of &#039;em with a skewer and ladle in some tofee while they&#039;re still hot.&lt;/div&gt;</summary>
		<author><name>Ubernerd</name></author>
	</entry>
	<entry>
		<id>https://wiki.utter-chaos.net/ucwiki/index.php?title=Sticky_Toffee_Jujube_Pudding&amp;diff=16786</id>
		<title>Sticky Toffee Jujube Pudding</title>
		<link rel="alternate" type="text/html" href="https://wiki.utter-chaos.net/ucwiki/index.php?title=Sticky_Toffee_Jujube_Pudding&amp;diff=16786"/>
		<updated>2025-05-25T23:50:47Z</updated>

		<summary type="html">&lt;p&gt;Ubernerd: Created page with &amp;quot;The thing to do with 2 1/2 weeks of accumulated boiled jujubes from nighttime medicinal teas. It passes the ultimate &amp;quot;not too sweet&amp;quot; test, despite being sticky toffee pudding....&amp;quot;&lt;/p&gt;
&lt;hr /&gt;
&lt;div&gt;The thing to do with 2 1/2 weeks of accumulated boiled jujubes from nighttime medicinal teas. It passes the ultimate &amp;quot;not too sweet&amp;quot; test, despite being sticky toffee pudding. Your asian auntie would approve.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
Ingredients:&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
Cake&lt;br /&gt;
- 517g (ehhh, thereabouts) used jujubes, ground into a paste&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
- 1 tsp baking soda&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
- 0.25 cup brown sugar&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
- 2 tbsp white sugar&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
- 6 tbsp butter (soft is better)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
- 2 eggs&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
- 1.25 cup flour&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
- 1.5 tsp baking powder &lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
Toffee:&lt;br /&gt;
- 5 tbsp butter&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
- 1 tsp vanilla (who am I kidding? Just splash some in there)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
- 1.5 cups heavy cream&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
- 1 cup brown sugar&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
Start by making the cake. Grease up like 6 ramekins, or 1 6&amp;quot; cake round and 2 ramekins. For the cake, lube up the pan, then apply parchment paper to the bottoms and sides. Cut up the butter into small chunks and blend it in the stand mixer or whatever with the sugar until it&#039;s all creamed together. Add in the 2 eggs and mix till it&#039;s all uniform and wet. Sprinkle the flour on top, followed by the baking powder. Give it a whirl until it&#039;s a uniform paste. Stir the baking powder into the jujube paste, then add that to the batter and mix until it&#039;s all nicely incorporated. Bake in a convection oven at 320 for 32 minutes for ramekins, 42 minutes for the cake.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
While it&#039;s baking, make the toffee by combining all the toffee ingredients in a pot, melting it down, and bringing it to a simmer until it&#039;s thickened a bit.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
When you take the cakes out, stab the shit out of &#039;em with a skewer and ladle in some tofee while they&#039;re still hot.&lt;/div&gt;</summary>
		<author><name>Ubernerd</name></author>
	</entry>
	<entry>
		<id>https://wiki.utter-chaos.net/ucwiki/index.php?title=The_Ghetto_Gourmet&amp;diff=16785</id>
		<title>The Ghetto Gourmet</title>
		<link rel="alternate" type="text/html" href="https://wiki.utter-chaos.net/ucwiki/index.php?title=The_Ghetto_Gourmet&amp;diff=16785"/>
		<updated>2025-05-25T23:41:49Z</updated>

		<summary type="html">&lt;p&gt;Ubernerd: /* Dessert */&lt;/p&gt;
&lt;hr /&gt;
&lt;div&gt;Welcome to The Ghetto Gourmet; a repository for the recipes that require quantifiable measurements I actually need to look up... and then some experimental stuff in development.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
BUT BEFORE YOU BEGIN, click [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=r9uOQTcDURU&amp;amp;feature=use here]&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
The recipes denoted with an asterisk (*) are considered &amp;quot;Recipes for the Extra Ghetto&amp;quot; and people with little time/skill to devote to preparing healthy meals.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
Per a recent request, I&#039;ve added a section for [[User:Zahnnie|Zahnnie]] (who played a part in The Ghetto Gourmet through the college years) called &amp;quot;Zahnnie&#039;s High-Fallutin&#039; Fancy-Pants Cookin&#039; Section&amp;quot; which is where her collection of &amp;quot;recipes made to impress people&amp;quot; is located. [[User:Zahnnie|Zahnnie]]&#039;s specialty is Moroccan cuisine, and she likes to cook things in her &amp;lt;s&amp;gt;vagine&amp;lt;/s&amp;gt; tagine.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[User:Caryatid|Caryatid]] included an awesome dietary analysis on one of my recipes which I thought added a lot of value. Unfortunately, I don&#039;t have the time to go through each and every recipe and analyze it in through detail, so I have now added simple assicon scaling as an easy way for people to tell which recipes are healthy here and which are... less so. Please refer to the following scale:&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
(!) - Skinny ass. Denotes recipes that would be good as part of a diet for people who are health-conscious or trying to lose weight. Relatively guilt-free eating.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
(_!_) - Normal ass. Denotes recipes that are generally healthy, and meant to be enjoyed regularly.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
(__!__) - Desk ass. Denotes recipes that should probably be enjoyed in moderation, lest you get desk ass.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
x_x - Heart attack. Okay, I know this isn&#039;t technically an assicon, but it&#039;s more accurate than saying &amp;quot;wide load&amp;quot;. Denotes recipes that I would recommend busting out as special treats, because including them as a regular staple in your diet will probably give you a heart attack.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
==Savory Food==&lt;br /&gt;
[[Homemade Gyoza and Wontons]]* (_!_)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Miso Soup]]* (!)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Ghetto-Fantastic Ramen]]* (_!_)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Fried Rice]]* (_!_)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Chicken Pot Pie From Scratch]] (__!__)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Rosemary and Honey Salmon]]* (!)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Beef with Barley Soup]]* (_!_)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Chicken Soup/Plague Remedy]]* (!)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Spicy Ravioli Soup]]* (!)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Rice Porridge/Pukes And Shits Remedy]]* (!)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[&amp;quot;Porchetta Italiana&amp;quot; - Dirty Eye-talian Style Pork Loin]] (_!_)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Eggplant Parmesan]] (__!__)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Bruschetta with Salted Tomatoes]]* (!)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Shredded &amp;quot;Hash Brown&amp;quot; Potato Pile]]* (__!__)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Matar Paneer]] (!)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Paneer Korma]] (_!_)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Kickass Homemade Malaysian Lamb Curry]] (_!_)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Malaysian Chicken Curry that I Made While In AZ]] (_!_)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Improvements on Asian Home Gourmet&#039;s Laksa Recipe]] (_!_)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[That Tasty Pot Roast That I Threw Up Behind Jim&#039;s Tent During The 2007 GNE War]] (_!_)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Moroccan-Spiced Stuffed Mushrooms]]* (_!_)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Salmon in a Puff Pastry Shell]]* (_!_)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Cheese &#039;Tatoes]]* x_x&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Ghetto Cheese Ravioli with Chicken and Pesto Sauce]]* (_!_)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Ghetto Wonton-Noodle Soup]]* (_!_)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Creamy Carrot Soup]] (_!_)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Coconut Chicken Soup]] (_!_)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Ginger and Scallion Steamed Fish]] (!)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Ghetto-Fabulous Ma Po Tofu]] (_!_)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Tea Eggs]] (!)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[&amp;quot;Funky Chinese Herb&amp;quot; Stew]] (_!_)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Toss]]* (__!__)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Why-I-Am-Going-To-Hell Spinach]] (!)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Bill of Larder from the 2008 GNE War, Courtesy of Vance, Thunder Mountain&#039;s Favorite Camp Cookie]] x_x&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Creamy Vegetable-Rice Soup/Fake Risotto]] (_!_)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Tasty Nasi Goreng made with Bamboe&#039;s Nasi Goreng spices]] (_!_)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Penang Curry with Basil]] (_!_)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Daikon Cake]] (_!_)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Heavenly Ghettalian Spaghetti Sauce]] (!)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[See Krong Tord Gratium (Thai style Pork Spareribs with Crispy Garlic and Pepper)]] (__!__)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Takrite Goong (Lemongrass Sticks with Minced Chicken, Prawns, and Pork)]] (__!__)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Salmon and Spinach Quiche (aka &amp;quot;Quiche So Good, She&#039;ll Pretty Much Have To Put Out&amp;quot;)]] x_x&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Ghetto-Fabulous Spicy Tuna a la Waldrop]]* (!)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Panko-Breaded Fish with Ginger Sauce]] (_!_)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Black Bean Sauce Pork Roast, Courtesy of Marti]] (_!_)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Flippin&#039; Sweet Spinach Dip]] x_x&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Chicken and Corn Risotto (warning: not for cooks who are ADD)]] (_!_)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Thai Pickles]] (!)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Moderately Nutritious Taco Salad]] (!)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Sexy Homemade Tater Tots]] (!)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[&amp;quot;Toss My&amp;quot; Salad]] (!)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Chicken Turnovers]] (_!_)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[The Cafe Congress&#039; &amp;quot;Heartbreaker&amp;quot; Plate]] x_x&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Beef Stew]] (_!_)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Efficient Broccoli &amp;amp; Rice]]* (!)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Holy-Crap-Good Cornbread]]* (!)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Poky Salad]]* (!)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Cafe-Style Chicken &amp;amp; Broccoli Alfredo]]* x_x&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Lo Mai Gai (Lotus-wrapped Chicken with Sticky Rice)]] (_!_)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Soup for a Sick Day]]&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Ghetto-Fraiche Lemon Tofu]]* (_!_)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Ghetto Coconut Noodle Soup]]* (_!_)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Take Me to Your Mama&#039;s for Rice &amp;amp; Beans]]&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Cruelty-free Bolognese Sauce]]&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Fake Thai Veggies]]&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Hoity Toity Farm-to-Table Frittata]]&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Total Flex-Cooking Lasagna From Scratch]]... but it&#039;s only mad flexin&#039; if you make it on a weeknight after work and don&#039;t start cooking until after 7pm.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Bagels from that stupid fucking long recipe]]&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Definitive Brisket Recipe]]&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
==Dessert==&lt;br /&gt;
[[Pie Crust]] (__!__)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Blackberry-Blueberry Pie]] (_!_)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Apple Pie]] (_!_)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Peach Pie with Star Anise]] (_!_)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Ginger Ice Cream]] (_!_)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Basil Ice Cream]] (_!_)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Krapp (Flambe)]] (__!__)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Dark Chocolate Cake]] (__!__)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Litterbox Cake]] (__!__)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Emme&#039;s Rum Balls]] (_!_)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Arschwein-Cookies]] (_!_)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Father-Hating-and-Shame Cookies]] (_!_)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Goth-Flavored Banana Bread]] (!)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[The Best Carrot Cake Ever, According to Two California Hippies]] (!)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Sun-Ripened Mixed New Galen Field Browns]] (_!_)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Bienenstich]] x_x&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Pandan-Banana Cake]] (_!_)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Delicious Fiber Bomb Bars]]* (!)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Hilary&#039;s Plum Torte]] (_!_)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Chocolate Oatmeal Cake]] (_!_)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Baked Apple-Thing]] (__!__)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Amanda&#039;s Mom&#039;s Cake]] (Red Velvet Cake filled with Grand Marnier-soaked Strawberries, covered in Homemade Creamcheese Frosting, Coconut and Almond Flakes) x_x&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Horror at Pompeii (Rice Krispy Treats)]]* (__!__)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Perfect 10 Legendary Munchies-Satisfying Cranberry Chocolate Chip Muffins]] (__!__)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Hello Kitty Cake Pops]]&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Ghetto Microwave Mochi]]&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Baked Raw Cookie Dough]]&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[French Macarons]] (__!__)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Buttercream]] (__!__)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Cranberry Orange Muffins, Jesse Pinkman method]]&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[B&#039;norange Banana Cake]]&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Rose &amp;amp; Herbes de Provence Olive Oil Cake]]&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[But It&#039;s Not Salad Cake]]&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Chocolate Babkallah]]&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Shokupan, bitches!]]&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Rosemary Brown Butter Apple Cake]]&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Lemon Curd Mousse Cake]]&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Sticky Toffee Jujube Pudding]]&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
==Drinkies==&lt;br /&gt;
[[Tears of Baby Jesus]] (_!_)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Rear of Baby Jesus]] (_!_)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Amaretto Smoothie]] (__!__)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Official Recipe for a Lady DiSaronno]] (_!_)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Dirty Hippie Blackberry-Mango Smoothie]] (!)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[How-I-Got-Registered-To-Vote-In-Cambridge Smoothie]] (!)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Vegan-Friendly Version of the How-I-Got-Registered-To-Vote-In-Cambridge Smoothie]] (!)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Coconut-Pandan Daiquiri]] (Creamy and yet dairy-free! For those of you who don&#039;t want your lactose intolerance flaring up and adding to the morning-after beer shits.) (__!__)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Eggnog (Johnson Family Recipe)]] (__!__)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Roger&#039;s Appletinis]] (!)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Spiced Pear]] (!)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Izzy&#039;s XXX Road Soda]] (!)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Courtney Love]] (!)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Izzy&#039;s Bloody Mary]]&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Cheapo Fruity Mimosa]] (!)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Poolside Sangria]] (!)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Tranny Chaser]]&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[The Main Event Cosmos]]&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Chai Sizzurp]]&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
&#039;&#039;&#039;&amp;lt;u&amp;gt;Le Bunghole Homebrews:&amp;lt;/u&amp;gt;&#039;&#039;&#039;&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Arschwein Beta Version]] (_!_)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Arschwein Version 1.0]] (_!_)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[&amp;quot;Djarum Black&amp;quot; Mead Beta Version]] (_!_)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[The Award-Winning Gargamel]] (_!_)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Infamous Bathtub Mead|Infamous Bathtub Mead (latest recipe has moved here until further notice)]] (_!_)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Viking Breakfast (Bacon Acerglyn)]] (_!_)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
==Misc==&lt;br /&gt;
[[Awesome Fake Satay Sauce]] (_!_)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Mutie&#039;s Honey Butter Recipe]] x_x&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[&amp;quot;Special Sauce&amp;quot;]] x_x&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Guacamole]] (_!_)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Tzatziki]] (!)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Extra-salty Soy-Garlic Marinade]] (__!__)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Extra-salty Soy-Ginger Marinade]] (__!__)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Creamy Fake Vomit]] x_x&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[How To Make a Bacon Candle]] x_x&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Oatmeal-Raisin Cardboard]] (!)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Homemade Turkey Broth]] (_!_)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Bizkits]]* (_!_)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
==Zahnnie&#039;s High-Fallutin&#039; Fancy-Pants Cookin&#039; Section==&lt;br /&gt;
With the recipes that follow, you will be able to easily convince your family and friends that you are a totally awesome cook, when in fact you&#039;re just making it up as you go. Never reveal this crucial secret.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[GGZ_Baked Potato Soup | Baked Potato Soup]] so good you just may cream your pants.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[GGZ_Moroccan Lamb | Moroccan Lamb Tagine]]&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[GGZ_Gnocchi | Homemade Gnocchi]]&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[GGZ_SausageLeekRagu | Sausage and Leek Ragu]] to go with the gnocchis. Mmm.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[GGZ_SausageLeekSoup | Sausage and Leek Soup]] inspired by the ragu. For the crockpot for extra laziness!&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[GGZ_Boozesicles | Boozesicles]] made especially by the lovely Zahnnie for Ubernerd&#039;s Tarts &#039;n Vicars/Good-Decisions party&lt;/div&gt;</summary>
		<author><name>Ubernerd</name></author>
	</entry>
	<entry>
		<id>https://wiki.utter-chaos.net/ucwiki/index.php?title=Lemon_Curd_Mousse_Cake&amp;diff=16784</id>
		<title>Lemon Curd Mousse Cake</title>
		<link rel="alternate" type="text/html" href="https://wiki.utter-chaos.net/ucwiki/index.php?title=Lemon_Curd_Mousse_Cake&amp;diff=16784"/>
		<updated>2025-01-31T16:17:30Z</updated>

		<summary type="html">&lt;p&gt;Ubernerd: Created page with &amp;quot;Burgled from Epicurious.com, who is now owned by Bon Appetit, who are dicks and require you to subscribe. Most of the time, a 1/2 recipe of this is plenty. This is a 2 day cak...&amp;quot;&lt;/p&gt;
&lt;hr /&gt;
&lt;div&gt;Burgled from Epicurious.com, who is now owned by Bon Appetit, who are dicks and require you to subscribe. Most of the time, a 1/2 recipe of this is plenty. This is a 2 day cake with all the cooling and setting times, so plan accordingly.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
Curd Ingredients:&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
2 1/2 cup sugar (1 dropped it to 1 3/4 or less and it&#039;s actually much better and tangier, especially if you use Meyer lemons)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
4 tsp cornstarch&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
1 cup fresh squeezed lemon juice (about 6-8 lemons)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
4 large eggs&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
4 large egg yolks&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
1.5 sticks (3/4 cup) butter, chopped into lil cubes&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
Crust Ingredients:&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
2 cups shortbread cookie crumbs (7.5 oz - I use 1/2 a packet of Walker&#039;s or Lorna Doone shortbread biscuits or similar)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
0.5 stick (1/2 cup) butter, melted&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
Cooking spray&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
Mousse:&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
5 tbsp water&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
4 tsp gelatin&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
6 large egg whites (use 4 from the curd above)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
3/4 cup sugar (again, I dropped it to about 0.5 cup sugar and it tastes great)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
1.5 cups chilled heavy cream&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
Lemon slices (for prettiness)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
Make the curd first:&lt;br /&gt;
Toss sugar and cornstarch in a pot. Add lemon juice gradually until the cornstarch is dissolved. Whisk in eggs and egg yolks. Stir over medium heat while adding butter, until curd thickens (and starts to boil, but it&#039;ll be more like steam puffs. Just don&#039;t make scrambled eggs, so keep whisking). Transfer to desired cooling vessel (jar if you&#039;re stopping at just curd) and chill until cold and set.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
While the curd is cooling, make the crust:&lt;br /&gt;
Preheat oven to 350. Lube up the bottom of a springform (8 inches for full recipe, a real wee one for a half version). Hit the shortbread cookies with the food processor or a bum corer, or beat the shit out of them in a plastic bag till they&#039;re crumbs. Put &#039;em in a mixing bowl and pour in the melted butter. Stir until they&#039;re coated and press into the bottom of the lubed springform. Bake for 15 min (until golden). Let it cool down.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
Finally, the mousse:&lt;br /&gt;
Remember the part where this is a 2 day cake? Here&#039;s the part that makes it take 2 days. Put 5 tbsp water in a small pot. Sprinkle the gelatin over it and let it stand until it absorbs and goes clear does the gelatin thing (about 15 min). You&#039;ll need a large bowl and a small bowl, an old priest, and a young priest. Put 1.75 cups of that chilled lemon curd into a large bowl, 0.75 of that curd into another small pot and heat that one gently until it&#039;s &amp;quot;very warm&amp;quot;. Reserve the remaining lemon curd, don&#039;t eat it just yet. Heat up the gelatin that&#039;s been chillin&#039; in the small pot, until it&#039;s clear, then whisk it into the heated pot of lemon curd. Then take that and slop it into the larger bowl of cold lemon curd and then whisk it so you have all that gelatin mix throughout. This stabilizes the curd.&lt;br /&gt;
Beat the egg whites and the old priest until soft peaks form. Add in the sugar gradually until you have this nice glossy meringue. Fold the whites in 3 stages into the cold stabilized curd. Don&#039;t bother cleaning the whipping setup. Whip the heavy cream, and the young priest until they both get peaky. Then fold just the cream into the mousse/curd mixture. Pour enough of the mousse/curd/cream mixture into the crusty springform to fill the pan completely, then save the rest of it in a tupperware - don&#039;t eat it just yet. Cover the pan with saran wrap, then shove everything in the fridge to chill out overnight.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
In the morning, get a nice flexy thin knife and run it around the side of the springform and release the ring on the pan, so you have this nice Sheng Kee lookin thing. Alternatively, you could have used a ring of fancy cellophane inside the springform, and just released the ring. Spread the rest of the curd from the fridge on top of the set mousse cake. Put the lemon slices on in fancy little twists and whatnot. Pipe on the remaining mousse in little rosettes, pooplets, or whatever the best it is you can do. Netflix, chill &#039;n serve.&lt;/div&gt;</summary>
		<author><name>Ubernerd</name></author>
	</entry>
	<entry>
		<id>https://wiki.utter-chaos.net/ucwiki/index.php?title=The_Ghetto_Gourmet&amp;diff=16783</id>
		<title>The Ghetto Gourmet</title>
		<link rel="alternate" type="text/html" href="https://wiki.utter-chaos.net/ucwiki/index.php?title=The_Ghetto_Gourmet&amp;diff=16783"/>
		<updated>2025-01-31T15:52:14Z</updated>

		<summary type="html">&lt;p&gt;Ubernerd: &lt;/p&gt;
&lt;hr /&gt;
&lt;div&gt;Welcome to The Ghetto Gourmet; a repository for the recipes that require quantifiable measurements I actually need to look up... and then some experimental stuff in development.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
BUT BEFORE YOU BEGIN, click [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=r9uOQTcDURU&amp;amp;feature=use here]&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
The recipes denoted with an asterisk (*) are considered &amp;quot;Recipes for the Extra Ghetto&amp;quot; and people with little time/skill to devote to preparing healthy meals.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
Per a recent request, I&#039;ve added a section for [[User:Zahnnie|Zahnnie]] (who played a part in The Ghetto Gourmet through the college years) called &amp;quot;Zahnnie&#039;s High-Fallutin&#039; Fancy-Pants Cookin&#039; Section&amp;quot; which is where her collection of &amp;quot;recipes made to impress people&amp;quot; is located. [[User:Zahnnie|Zahnnie]]&#039;s specialty is Moroccan cuisine, and she likes to cook things in her &amp;lt;s&amp;gt;vagine&amp;lt;/s&amp;gt; tagine.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[User:Caryatid|Caryatid]] included an awesome dietary analysis on one of my recipes which I thought added a lot of value. Unfortunately, I don&#039;t have the time to go through each and every recipe and analyze it in through detail, so I have now added simple assicon scaling as an easy way for people to tell which recipes are healthy here and which are... less so. Please refer to the following scale:&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
(!) - Skinny ass. Denotes recipes that would be good as part of a diet for people who are health-conscious or trying to lose weight. Relatively guilt-free eating.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
(_!_) - Normal ass. Denotes recipes that are generally healthy, and meant to be enjoyed regularly.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
(__!__) - Desk ass. Denotes recipes that should probably be enjoyed in moderation, lest you get desk ass.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
x_x - Heart attack. Okay, I know this isn&#039;t technically an assicon, but it&#039;s more accurate than saying &amp;quot;wide load&amp;quot;. Denotes recipes that I would recommend busting out as special treats, because including them as a regular staple in your diet will probably give you a heart attack.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
==Savory Food==&lt;br /&gt;
[[Homemade Gyoza and Wontons]]* (_!_)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Miso Soup]]* (!)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Ghetto-Fantastic Ramen]]* (_!_)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Fried Rice]]* (_!_)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Chicken Pot Pie From Scratch]] (__!__)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Rosemary and Honey Salmon]]* (!)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Beef with Barley Soup]]* (_!_)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Chicken Soup/Plague Remedy]]* (!)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Spicy Ravioli Soup]]* (!)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Rice Porridge/Pukes And Shits Remedy]]* (!)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[&amp;quot;Porchetta Italiana&amp;quot; - Dirty Eye-talian Style Pork Loin]] (_!_)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Eggplant Parmesan]] (__!__)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Bruschetta with Salted Tomatoes]]* (!)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Shredded &amp;quot;Hash Brown&amp;quot; Potato Pile]]* (__!__)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Matar Paneer]] (!)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Paneer Korma]] (_!_)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Kickass Homemade Malaysian Lamb Curry]] (_!_)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Malaysian Chicken Curry that I Made While In AZ]] (_!_)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Improvements on Asian Home Gourmet&#039;s Laksa Recipe]] (_!_)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[That Tasty Pot Roast That I Threw Up Behind Jim&#039;s Tent During The 2007 GNE War]] (_!_)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Moroccan-Spiced Stuffed Mushrooms]]* (_!_)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Salmon in a Puff Pastry Shell]]* (_!_)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Cheese &#039;Tatoes]]* x_x&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Ghetto Cheese Ravioli with Chicken and Pesto Sauce]]* (_!_)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Ghetto Wonton-Noodle Soup]]* (_!_)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Creamy Carrot Soup]] (_!_)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Coconut Chicken Soup]] (_!_)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Ginger and Scallion Steamed Fish]] (!)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Ghetto-Fabulous Ma Po Tofu]] (_!_)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Tea Eggs]] (!)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[&amp;quot;Funky Chinese Herb&amp;quot; Stew]] (_!_)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Toss]]* (__!__)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Why-I-Am-Going-To-Hell Spinach]] (!)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Bill of Larder from the 2008 GNE War, Courtesy of Vance, Thunder Mountain&#039;s Favorite Camp Cookie]] x_x&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Creamy Vegetable-Rice Soup/Fake Risotto]] (_!_)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Tasty Nasi Goreng made with Bamboe&#039;s Nasi Goreng spices]] (_!_)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Penang Curry with Basil]] (_!_)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Daikon Cake]] (_!_)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Heavenly Ghettalian Spaghetti Sauce]] (!)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[See Krong Tord Gratium (Thai style Pork Spareribs with Crispy Garlic and Pepper)]] (__!__)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Takrite Goong (Lemongrass Sticks with Minced Chicken, Prawns, and Pork)]] (__!__)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Salmon and Spinach Quiche (aka &amp;quot;Quiche So Good, She&#039;ll Pretty Much Have To Put Out&amp;quot;)]] x_x&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Ghetto-Fabulous Spicy Tuna a la Waldrop]]* (!)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Panko-Breaded Fish with Ginger Sauce]] (_!_)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Black Bean Sauce Pork Roast, Courtesy of Marti]] (_!_)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Flippin&#039; Sweet Spinach Dip]] x_x&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Chicken and Corn Risotto (warning: not for cooks who are ADD)]] (_!_)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Thai Pickles]] (!)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Moderately Nutritious Taco Salad]] (!)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Sexy Homemade Tater Tots]] (!)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[&amp;quot;Toss My&amp;quot; Salad]] (!)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Chicken Turnovers]] (_!_)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[The Cafe Congress&#039; &amp;quot;Heartbreaker&amp;quot; Plate]] x_x&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Beef Stew]] (_!_)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Efficient Broccoli &amp;amp; Rice]]* (!)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Holy-Crap-Good Cornbread]]* (!)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Poky Salad]]* (!)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Cafe-Style Chicken &amp;amp; Broccoli Alfredo]]* x_x&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Lo Mai Gai (Lotus-wrapped Chicken with Sticky Rice)]] (_!_)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Soup for a Sick Day]]&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Ghetto-Fraiche Lemon Tofu]]* (_!_)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Ghetto Coconut Noodle Soup]]* (_!_)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Take Me to Your Mama&#039;s for Rice &amp;amp; Beans]]&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Cruelty-free Bolognese Sauce]]&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Fake Thai Veggies]]&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Hoity Toity Farm-to-Table Frittata]]&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Total Flex-Cooking Lasagna From Scratch]]... but it&#039;s only mad flexin&#039; if you make it on a weeknight after work and don&#039;t start cooking until after 7pm.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Bagels from that stupid fucking long recipe]]&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Definitive Brisket Recipe]]&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
==Dessert==&lt;br /&gt;
[[Pie Crust]] (__!__)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Blackberry-Blueberry Pie]] (_!_)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Apple Pie]] (_!_)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Peach Pie with Star Anise]] (_!_)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Ginger Ice Cream]] (_!_)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Basil Ice Cream]] (_!_)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Krapp (Flambe)]] (__!__)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Dark Chocolate Cake]] (__!__)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Litterbox Cake]] (__!__)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Emme&#039;s Rum Balls]] (_!_)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Arschwein-Cookies]] (_!_)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Father-Hating-and-Shame Cookies]] (_!_)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Goth-Flavored Banana Bread]] (!)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[The Best Carrot Cake Ever, According to Two California Hippies]] (!)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Sun-Ripened Mixed New Galen Field Browns]] (_!_)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Bienenstich]] x_x&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Pandan-Banana Cake]] (_!_)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Delicious Fiber Bomb Bars]]* (!)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Hilary&#039;s Plum Torte]] (_!_)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Chocolate Oatmeal Cake]] (_!_)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Baked Apple-Thing]] (__!__)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Amanda&#039;s Mom&#039;s Cake]] (Red Velvet Cake filled with Grand Marnier-soaked Strawberries, covered in Homemade Creamcheese Frosting, Coconut and Almond Flakes) x_x&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Horror at Pompeii (Rice Krispy Treats)]]* (__!__)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Perfect 10 Legendary Munchies-Satisfying Cranberry Chocolate Chip Muffins]] (__!__)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Hello Kitty Cake Pops]]&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Ghetto Microwave Mochi]]&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Baked Raw Cookie Dough]]&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[French Macarons]] (__!__)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Buttercream]] (__!__)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Cranberry Orange Muffins, Jesse Pinkman method]]&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[B&#039;norange Banana Cake]]&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Rose &amp;amp; Herbes de Provence Olive Oil Cake]]&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[But It&#039;s Not Salad Cake]]&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Chocolate Babkallah]]&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Shokupan, bitches!]]&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Rosemary Brown Butter Apple Cake]]&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Lemon Curd Mousse Cake]]&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
==Drinkies==&lt;br /&gt;
[[Tears of Baby Jesus]] (_!_)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Rear of Baby Jesus]] (_!_)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Amaretto Smoothie]] (__!__)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Official Recipe for a Lady DiSaronno]] (_!_)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Dirty Hippie Blackberry-Mango Smoothie]] (!)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[How-I-Got-Registered-To-Vote-In-Cambridge Smoothie]] (!)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Vegan-Friendly Version of the How-I-Got-Registered-To-Vote-In-Cambridge Smoothie]] (!)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Coconut-Pandan Daiquiri]] (Creamy and yet dairy-free! For those of you who don&#039;t want your lactose intolerance flaring up and adding to the morning-after beer shits.) (__!__)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Eggnog (Johnson Family Recipe)]] (__!__)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Roger&#039;s Appletinis]] (!)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Spiced Pear]] (!)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Izzy&#039;s XXX Road Soda]] (!)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Courtney Love]] (!)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Izzy&#039;s Bloody Mary]]&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Cheapo Fruity Mimosa]] (!)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Poolside Sangria]] (!)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Tranny Chaser]]&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[The Main Event Cosmos]]&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Chai Sizzurp]]&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
&#039;&#039;&#039;&amp;lt;u&amp;gt;Le Bunghole Homebrews:&amp;lt;/u&amp;gt;&#039;&#039;&#039;&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Arschwein Beta Version]] (_!_)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Arschwein Version 1.0]] (_!_)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[&amp;quot;Djarum Black&amp;quot; Mead Beta Version]] (_!_)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[The Award-Winning Gargamel]] (_!_)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Infamous Bathtub Mead|Infamous Bathtub Mead (latest recipe has moved here until further notice)]] (_!_)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Viking Breakfast (Bacon Acerglyn)]] (_!_)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
==Misc==&lt;br /&gt;
[[Awesome Fake Satay Sauce]] (_!_)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Mutie&#039;s Honey Butter Recipe]] x_x&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[&amp;quot;Special Sauce&amp;quot;]] x_x&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Guacamole]] (_!_)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Tzatziki]] (!)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Extra-salty Soy-Garlic Marinade]] (__!__)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Extra-salty Soy-Ginger Marinade]] (__!__)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Creamy Fake Vomit]] x_x&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[How To Make a Bacon Candle]] x_x&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Oatmeal-Raisin Cardboard]] (!)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Homemade Turkey Broth]] (_!_)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Bizkits]]* (_!_)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
==Zahnnie&#039;s High-Fallutin&#039; Fancy-Pants Cookin&#039; Section==&lt;br /&gt;
With the recipes that follow, you will be able to easily convince your family and friends that you are a totally awesome cook, when in fact you&#039;re just making it up as you go. Never reveal this crucial secret.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[GGZ_Baked Potato Soup | Baked Potato Soup]] so good you just may cream your pants.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[GGZ_Moroccan Lamb | Moroccan Lamb Tagine]]&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[GGZ_Gnocchi | Homemade Gnocchi]]&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[GGZ_SausageLeekRagu | Sausage and Leek Ragu]] to go with the gnocchis. Mmm.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[GGZ_SausageLeekSoup | Sausage and Leek Soup]] inspired by the ragu. For the crockpot for extra laziness!&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[GGZ_Boozesicles | Boozesicles]] made especially by the lovely Zahnnie for Ubernerd&#039;s Tarts &#039;n Vicars/Good-Decisions party&lt;/div&gt;</summary>
		<author><name>Ubernerd</name></author>
	</entry>
	<entry>
		<id>https://wiki.utter-chaos.net/ucwiki/index.php?title=Definitive_Brisket_Recipe&amp;diff=16782</id>
		<title>Definitive Brisket Recipe</title>
		<link rel="alternate" type="text/html" href="https://wiki.utter-chaos.net/ucwiki/index.php?title=Definitive_Brisket_Recipe&amp;diff=16782"/>
		<updated>2024-12-29T23:44:00Z</updated>

		<summary type="html">&lt;p&gt;Ubernerd: &lt;/p&gt;
&lt;hr /&gt;
&lt;div&gt;I endured dating that useless shitbag Aaron for nearly 7 years in order to get this recipe.&lt;br /&gt;
Okay, well not exactly, but I *did* come out of that relationship with *one* good thing, and it was this little old Jewish lady brisket recipe, which is so good it&#039;s *almost* made it worth putting up with that ass-barnacle for that long. Almost.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
Ingredients:&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
1lb of brisket per person you&#039;re serving (marbled &#039;n fatty on top is what you want. Ask for a &amp;quot;point cut&amp;quot; if your butcher is awesome)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
~2 packages of Lipton onion soup mix (once you go over like 6 lbs, maybe add another)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
Worcestershire sauce&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
Dry mustard powder&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
Thin sliced onions&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
Carrots, cut into coins&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
red wine&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
ketchup (a bunch)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
Note: most of the above ingredients have no real measurement because this is an authentic little old lady recipe. &amp;quot;Put in the amount you would like to taste&amp;quot; is the guideline here. Prepare for this to be a 2 day process because you&#039;re twice-baking it.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
1. Preheat your oven to 325&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
2. Get a deep roasting pan with a lid, or prepare your finest tinfoil hat folding skills.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
3. Boil some water and mix up 1 cup of water to 1 package of onion soup mix. Pour it in the pan.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
4. Rub the dry mustard powder on top of the brisket (all over dat fat). Put dat meat in the pan. Make sure it&#039;s unfolded so it&#039;s flat, and about half-submerged in the onion soup broth.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
5. Pour worcestershire sauce all over the top (don&#039;t be stingy)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
6. Splash some red wine all over the top of the meat and into the broth&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
7. Cover the brisket with a nice blanket layer of sliced onions all over the top. Toss more sliced onions in the broth.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
8. Cover that blanket with a blanket of carrot coins. Toss more carrot coins in the broth&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
9. Slather a generous amount of ketchup all over the mound of carrots, onions, and meat in the pan.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
10. Cover the pan with the lid, or do a real fine job making a Faraday cage for your meat with that tinfoil hat.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
11. Bake in the oven. Rough guidance: about 2 hours if you&#039;re making up to 4lbs of brisket in a pan. For 6lbs brisket done in one pan (which is about how much can reasonably fit into 1 pan that fits in a domestic oven), we needed almost 3 hours. You&#039;ll want that thing cooked through, even if it isn&#039;t butter-soft yet.&lt;br /&gt;
      *** Original recipe says: &amp;quot;Cook for 2 hours. Add more time depending on how cooked it is or how delicious it smells.&amp;quot; ***&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
12. Cool completely and then transfer it to the fridge overnight.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
13. Next day: Preheat the oven to 325 again. Pull the meat from the fridge and slice against the grain ~1/4&amp;quot; to 1/2&amp;quot; slices.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
14. Skim *some* but not all of the fatburgs from the pan full of broth/gravy. I tried leaving it all in once, and it did make the sauce a bit greasy. I think if you&#039;re using a less fatty cut from some hoity toity place like Whole Foods you can leave all the fatburgs in there, but I like getting greasy point cut brisket from McKinnon&#039;s.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
15. Carefully &amp;quot;reconstruct&amp;quot; the brisket in the pan, slice by slice, pouring gravy between each slice as you smush them back together.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
16. Put it back in the oven at 325 again for 30 min. Use a fork or tongs to check the consistency of the meat: it should be almost falling apart when lifted. If it isn&#039;t at that level of tender, add 30min and check again. &lt;br /&gt;
      *** Original recipe says: &amp;quot;until you decide it&#039;s done. The meat should be &#039;like butter.&#039;&amp;quot; ***&lt;/div&gt;</summary>
		<author><name>Ubernerd</name></author>
	</entry>
	<entry>
		<id>https://wiki.utter-chaos.net/ucwiki/index.php?title=Definitive_Brisket_Recipe&amp;diff=16781</id>
		<title>Definitive Brisket Recipe</title>
		<link rel="alternate" type="text/html" href="https://wiki.utter-chaos.net/ucwiki/index.php?title=Definitive_Brisket_Recipe&amp;diff=16781"/>
		<updated>2024-12-23T17:08:34Z</updated>

		<summary type="html">&lt;p&gt;Ubernerd: Created page with &amp;quot;I endured dating that useless shitbag Aaron for nearly 7 years in order to get this recipe. Okay, well not exactly, but I *did* come out of that relationship with *one* good t...&amp;quot;&lt;/p&gt;
&lt;hr /&gt;
&lt;div&gt;I endured dating that useless shitbag Aaron for nearly 7 years in order to get this recipe.&lt;br /&gt;
Okay, well not exactly, but I *did* come out of that relationship with *one* good thing, and it was this little old Jewish lady brisket recipe, which is so good it&#039;s *almost* made it worth putting up with Aaron&#039;s fucktard ass for that long. Almost.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
Ingredients:&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
1lb of brisket per person you&#039;re serving (marbled &#039;n fatty on top is what you want. Ask for a &amp;quot;point cut&amp;quot; if your butcher is awesome)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
~2 packages of Lipton onion soup mix (once you go over like 5 lbs, maybe add another)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
Worcestershire sauce&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
Dry mustard powder&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
Thin sliced onions&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
Carrots, cut into coins&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
red wine&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
ketchup (a bunch)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
Notice that there aren&#039;t solid amounts in this recipe, and that&#039;s how you know it&#039;s good. Prepare for this to be a 2 day process because you&#039;re twice-baking it.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
1. Preheat your oven to 325&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
2. Get a deep roasting pan with a lid, or prepare your finest tinfoil hat folding skills.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
3. Boil some water and mix up 1 cup of water to 1 package of onion soup mix. Pour it in the pan.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
4. Rub the dry mustard powder on top of the brisket (all over dat fat). Put dat meat in the pan&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
5. Pour worcestershire sauce all over the top (don&#039;t be stingy)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
6. Splash some red wine all over the top of the meat and into the broth&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
7. Cover the brisket with a nice blanket layer of sliced onions all over the top. Toss more sliced onions in the broth.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
8. Cover that blanket with a blanket of carrot coins. Toss more carrot coins in the broth&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
9. Slather a generous amount of ketchup all over the mound of carrots, onions, and meat in the pan.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
10. Cover the pan with the lid, or do a real fine job making a Faraday cage for your meat with that tinfoil hat.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
11. Bake in the oven... for about 2 hours. Here&#039;s where the instructions get real vague, but basically, &amp;quot;add more time depending on how cooked it is or how delicious it smells.&amp;quot; Rough guidance, about 2 hours if you&#039;re making 3-4lbs of brisket. You&#039;ll want that thing cooked through, even if it isn&#039;t butter-soft yet.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
12. Cool completely and then transfer it to the fridge overnight.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
13. Slice against the grain ~1/4&amp;quot; to 1/2&amp;quot; slices.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
14. Skim *some* but not all of the fatburgs from the pan full of broth/gravy. I tried leaving it all in once, and it did make the sauce a bit greasy. I think if you&#039;re using a less fatty cut from some hoity toity place like Whole Foods you can leave all the fatburgs in there, but I like getting greasy point cut brisket from McKinnon&#039;s.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
15. Carefully &amp;quot;reconstruct&amp;quot; the brisket in the pan, slice by slice, pouring gravy between each slice as you smush them back together.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
16. Put it back in the oven at 325 again until you decide it&#039;s done. The meat should be like &amp;quot;butter,&amp;quot; so use your judgment from when you sliced up the meat how much longer that&#039;ll take. I&#039;d start with 30 min to an hour before checking.&lt;/div&gt;</summary>
		<author><name>Ubernerd</name></author>
	</entry>
	<entry>
		<id>https://wiki.utter-chaos.net/ucwiki/index.php?title=The_Ghetto_Gourmet&amp;diff=16780</id>
		<title>The Ghetto Gourmet</title>
		<link rel="alternate" type="text/html" href="https://wiki.utter-chaos.net/ucwiki/index.php?title=The_Ghetto_Gourmet&amp;diff=16780"/>
		<updated>2024-12-23T16:45:16Z</updated>

		<summary type="html">&lt;p&gt;Ubernerd: &lt;/p&gt;
&lt;hr /&gt;
&lt;div&gt;Welcome to The Ghetto Gourmet; a repository for the recipes that require quantifiable measurements I actually need to look up... and then some experimental stuff in development.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
BUT BEFORE YOU BEGIN, click [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=r9uOQTcDURU&amp;amp;feature=use here]&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
The recipes denoted with an asterisk (*) are considered &amp;quot;Recipes for the Extra Ghetto&amp;quot; and people with little time/skill to devote to preparing healthy meals.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
Per a recent request, I&#039;ve added a section for [[User:Zahnnie|Zahnnie]] (who played a part in The Ghetto Gourmet through the college years) called &amp;quot;Zahnnie&#039;s High-Fallutin&#039; Fancy-Pants Cookin&#039; Section&amp;quot; which is where her collection of &amp;quot;recipes made to impress people&amp;quot; is located. [[User:Zahnnie|Zahnnie]]&#039;s specialty is Moroccan cuisine, and she likes to cook things in her &amp;lt;s&amp;gt;vagine&amp;lt;/s&amp;gt; tagine.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[User:Caryatid|Caryatid]] included an awesome dietary analysis on one of my recipes which I thought added a lot of value. Unfortunately, I don&#039;t have the time to go through each and every recipe and analyze it in through detail, so I have now added simple assicon scaling as an easy way for people to tell which recipes are healthy here and which are... less so. Please refer to the following scale:&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
(!) - Skinny ass. Denotes recipes that would be good as part of a diet for people who are health-conscious or trying to lose weight. Relatively guilt-free eating.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
(_!_) - Normal ass. Denotes recipes that are generally healthy, and meant to be enjoyed regularly.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
(__!__) - Desk ass. Denotes recipes that should probably be enjoyed in moderation, lest you get desk ass.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
x_x - Heart attack. Okay, I know this isn&#039;t technically an assicon, but it&#039;s more accurate than saying &amp;quot;wide load&amp;quot;. Denotes recipes that I would recommend busting out as special treats, because including them as a regular staple in your diet will probably give you a heart attack.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
==Savory Food==&lt;br /&gt;
[[Homemade Gyoza and Wontons]]* (_!_)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Miso Soup]]* (!)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Ghetto-Fantastic Ramen]]* (_!_)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Fried Rice]]* (_!_)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Chicken Pot Pie From Scratch]] (__!__)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Rosemary and Honey Salmon]]* (!)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Beef with Barley Soup]]* (_!_)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Chicken Soup/Plague Remedy]]* (!)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Spicy Ravioli Soup]]* (!)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Rice Porridge/Pukes And Shits Remedy]]* (!)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[&amp;quot;Porchetta Italiana&amp;quot; - Dirty Eye-talian Style Pork Loin]] (_!_)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Eggplant Parmesan]] (__!__)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Bruschetta with Salted Tomatoes]]* (!)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Shredded &amp;quot;Hash Brown&amp;quot; Potato Pile]]* (__!__)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Matar Paneer]] (!)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Paneer Korma]] (_!_)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Kickass Homemade Malaysian Lamb Curry]] (_!_)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Malaysian Chicken Curry that I Made While In AZ]] (_!_)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Improvements on Asian Home Gourmet&#039;s Laksa Recipe]] (_!_)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[That Tasty Pot Roast That I Threw Up Behind Jim&#039;s Tent During The 2007 GNE War]] (_!_)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Moroccan-Spiced Stuffed Mushrooms]]* (_!_)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Salmon in a Puff Pastry Shell]]* (_!_)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Cheese &#039;Tatoes]]* x_x&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Ghetto Cheese Ravioli with Chicken and Pesto Sauce]]* (_!_)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Ghetto Wonton-Noodle Soup]]* (_!_)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Creamy Carrot Soup]] (_!_)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Coconut Chicken Soup]] (_!_)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Ginger and Scallion Steamed Fish]] (!)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Ghetto-Fabulous Ma Po Tofu]] (_!_)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Tea Eggs]] (!)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[&amp;quot;Funky Chinese Herb&amp;quot; Stew]] (_!_)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Toss]]* (__!__)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Why-I-Am-Going-To-Hell Spinach]] (!)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Bill of Larder from the 2008 GNE War, Courtesy of Vance, Thunder Mountain&#039;s Favorite Camp Cookie]] x_x&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Creamy Vegetable-Rice Soup/Fake Risotto]] (_!_)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Tasty Nasi Goreng made with Bamboe&#039;s Nasi Goreng spices]] (_!_)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Penang Curry with Basil]] (_!_)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Daikon Cake]] (_!_)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Heavenly Ghettalian Spaghetti Sauce]] (!)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[See Krong Tord Gratium (Thai style Pork Spareribs with Crispy Garlic and Pepper)]] (__!__)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Takrite Goong (Lemongrass Sticks with Minced Chicken, Prawns, and Pork)]] (__!__)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Salmon and Spinach Quiche (aka &amp;quot;Quiche So Good, She&#039;ll Pretty Much Have To Put Out&amp;quot;)]] x_x&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Ghetto-Fabulous Spicy Tuna a la Waldrop]]* (!)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Panko-Breaded Fish with Ginger Sauce]] (_!_)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Black Bean Sauce Pork Roast, Courtesy of Marti]] (_!_)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Flippin&#039; Sweet Spinach Dip]] x_x&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Chicken and Corn Risotto (warning: not for cooks who are ADD)]] (_!_)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Thai Pickles]] (!)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Moderately Nutritious Taco Salad]] (!)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Sexy Homemade Tater Tots]] (!)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[&amp;quot;Toss My&amp;quot; Salad]] (!)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Chicken Turnovers]] (_!_)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[The Cafe Congress&#039; &amp;quot;Heartbreaker&amp;quot; Plate]] x_x&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Beef Stew]] (_!_)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Efficient Broccoli &amp;amp; Rice]]* (!)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Holy-Crap-Good Cornbread]]* (!)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Poky Salad]]* (!)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Cafe-Style Chicken &amp;amp; Broccoli Alfredo]]* x_x&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Lo Mai Gai (Lotus-wrapped Chicken with Sticky Rice)]] (_!_)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Soup for a Sick Day]]&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Ghetto-Fraiche Lemon Tofu]]* (_!_)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Ghetto Coconut Noodle Soup]]* (_!_)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Take Me to Your Mama&#039;s for Rice &amp;amp; Beans]]&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Cruelty-free Bolognese Sauce]]&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Fake Thai Veggies]]&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Hoity Toity Farm-to-Table Frittata]]&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Total Flex-Cooking Lasagna From Scratch]]... but it&#039;s only mad flexin&#039; if you make it on a weeknight after work and don&#039;t start cooking until after 7pm.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Bagels from that stupid fucking long recipe]]&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Definitive Brisket Recipe]]&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
==Dessert==&lt;br /&gt;
[[Pie Crust]] (__!__)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Blackberry-Blueberry Pie]] (_!_)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Apple Pie]] (_!_)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Peach Pie with Star Anise]] (_!_)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Ginger Ice Cream]] (_!_)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Basil Ice Cream]] (_!_)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Krapp (Flambe)]] (__!__)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Dark Chocolate Cake]] (__!__)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Litterbox Cake]] (__!__)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Emme&#039;s Rum Balls]] (_!_)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Arschwein-Cookies]] (_!_)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Father-Hating-and-Shame Cookies]] (_!_)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Goth-Flavored Banana Bread]] (!)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[The Best Carrot Cake Ever, According to Two California Hippies]] (!)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Sun-Ripened Mixed New Galen Field Browns]] (_!_)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Bienenstich]] x_x&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Pandan-Banana Cake]] (_!_)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Delicious Fiber Bomb Bars]]* (!)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Hilary&#039;s Plum Torte]] (_!_)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Chocolate Oatmeal Cake]] (_!_)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Baked Apple-Thing]] (__!__)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Amanda&#039;s Mom&#039;s Cake]] (Red Velvet Cake filled with Grand Marnier-soaked Strawberries, covered in Homemade Creamcheese Frosting, Coconut and Almond Flakes) x_x&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Horror at Pompeii (Rice Krispy Treats)]]* (__!__)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Perfect 10 Legendary Munchies-Satisfying Cranberry Chocolate Chip Muffins]] (__!__)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Hello Kitty Cake Pops]]&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Ghetto Microwave Mochi]]&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Baked Raw Cookie Dough]]&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[French Macarons]] (__!__)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Buttercream]] (__!__)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Cranberry Orange Muffins, Jesse Pinkman method]]&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[B&#039;norange Banana Cake]]&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Rose &amp;amp; Herbes de Provence Olive Oil Cake]]&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[But It&#039;s Not Salad Cake]]&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Chocolate Babkallah]]&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Shokupan, bitches!]]&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Rosemary Brown Butter Apple Cake]]&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
==Drinkies==&lt;br /&gt;
[[Tears of Baby Jesus]] (_!_)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Rear of Baby Jesus]] (_!_)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Amaretto Smoothie]] (__!__)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Official Recipe for a Lady DiSaronno]] (_!_)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Dirty Hippie Blackberry-Mango Smoothie]] (!)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[How-I-Got-Registered-To-Vote-In-Cambridge Smoothie]] (!)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Vegan-Friendly Version of the How-I-Got-Registered-To-Vote-In-Cambridge Smoothie]] (!)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Coconut-Pandan Daiquiri]] (Creamy and yet dairy-free! For those of you who don&#039;t want your lactose intolerance flaring up and adding to the morning-after beer shits.) (__!__)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Eggnog (Johnson Family Recipe)]] (__!__)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Roger&#039;s Appletinis]] (!)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Spiced Pear]] (!)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Izzy&#039;s XXX Road Soda]] (!)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Courtney Love]] (!)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Izzy&#039;s Bloody Mary]]&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Cheapo Fruity Mimosa]] (!)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Poolside Sangria]] (!)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Tranny Chaser]]&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[The Main Event Cosmos]]&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Chai Sizzurp]]&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
&#039;&#039;&#039;&amp;lt;u&amp;gt;Le Bunghole Homebrews:&amp;lt;/u&amp;gt;&#039;&#039;&#039;&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Arschwein Beta Version]] (_!_)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Arschwein Version 1.0]] (_!_)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[&amp;quot;Djarum Black&amp;quot; Mead Beta Version]] (_!_)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[The Award-Winning Gargamel]] (_!_)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Infamous Bathtub Mead|Infamous Bathtub Mead (latest recipe has moved here until further notice)]] (_!_)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Viking Breakfast (Bacon Acerglyn)]] (_!_)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
==Misc==&lt;br /&gt;
[[Awesome Fake Satay Sauce]] (_!_)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Mutie&#039;s Honey Butter Recipe]] x_x&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[&amp;quot;Special Sauce&amp;quot;]] x_x&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Guacamole]] (_!_)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Tzatziki]] (!)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Extra-salty Soy-Garlic Marinade]] (__!__)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Extra-salty Soy-Ginger Marinade]] (__!__)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Creamy Fake Vomit]] x_x&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[How To Make a Bacon Candle]] x_x&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Oatmeal-Raisin Cardboard]] (!)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Homemade Turkey Broth]] (_!_)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Bizkits]]* (_!_)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
==Zahnnie&#039;s High-Fallutin&#039; Fancy-Pants Cookin&#039; Section==&lt;br /&gt;
With the recipes that follow, you will be able to easily convince your family and friends that you are a totally awesome cook, when in fact you&#039;re just making it up as you go. Never reveal this crucial secret.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[GGZ_Baked Potato Soup | Baked Potato Soup]] so good you just may cream your pants.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[GGZ_Moroccan Lamb | Moroccan Lamb Tagine]]&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[GGZ_Gnocchi | Homemade Gnocchi]]&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[GGZ_SausageLeekRagu | Sausage and Leek Ragu]] to go with the gnocchis. Mmm.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[GGZ_SausageLeekSoup | Sausage and Leek Soup]] inspired by the ragu. For the crockpot for extra laziness!&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[GGZ_Boozesicles | Boozesicles]] made especially by the lovely Zahnnie for Ubernerd&#039;s Tarts &#039;n Vicars/Good-Decisions party&lt;/div&gt;</summary>
		<author><name>Ubernerd</name></author>
	</entry>
	<entry>
		<id>https://wiki.utter-chaos.net/ucwiki/index.php?title=The_Ghetto_Gourmet&amp;diff=16779</id>
		<title>The Ghetto Gourmet</title>
		<link rel="alternate" type="text/html" href="https://wiki.utter-chaos.net/ucwiki/index.php?title=The_Ghetto_Gourmet&amp;diff=16779"/>
		<updated>2024-12-23T16:44:35Z</updated>

		<summary type="html">&lt;p&gt;Ubernerd: &lt;/p&gt;
&lt;hr /&gt;
&lt;div&gt;Welcome to The Ghetto Gourmet; a repository for the recipes that require quantifiable measurements I actually need to look up... and then some experimental stuff in development.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
BUT BEFORE YOU BEGIN, click [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=r9uOQTcDURU&amp;amp;feature=use here]&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
The recipes denoted with an asterisk (*) are considered &amp;quot;Recipes for the Extra Ghetto&amp;quot; and people with little time/skill to devote to preparing healthy meals.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
Per a recent request, I&#039;ve added a section for [[User:Zahnnie|Zahnnie]] (who played a part in The Ghetto Gourmet through the college years) called &amp;quot;Zahnnie&#039;s High-Fallutin&#039; Fancy-Pants Cookin&#039; Section&amp;quot; which is where her collection of &amp;quot;recipes made to impress people&amp;quot; is located. [[User:Zahnnie|Zahnnie]]&#039;s specialty is Moroccan cuisine, and she likes to cook things in her &amp;lt;s&amp;gt;vagine&amp;lt;/s&amp;gt; tagine.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[User:Caryatid|Caryatid]] included an awesome dietary analysis on one of my recipes which I thought added a lot of value. Unfortunately, I don&#039;t have the time to go through each and every recipe and analyze it in through detail, so I have now added simple assicon scaling as an easy way for people to tell which recipes are healthy here and which are... less so. Please refer to the following scale:&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
(!) - Skinny ass. Denotes recipes that would be good as part of a diet for people who are health-conscious or trying to lose weight. Relatively guilt-free eating.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
(_!_) - Normal ass. Denotes recipes that are generally healthy, and meant to be enjoyed regularly.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
(__!__) - Desk ass. Denotes recipes that should probably be enjoyed in moderation, lest you get desk ass.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
x_x - Heart attack. Okay, I know this isn&#039;t technically an assicon, but it&#039;s more accurate than saying &amp;quot;wide load&amp;quot;. Denotes recipes that I would recommend busting out as special treats, because including them as a regular staple in your diet will probably give you a heart attack.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
==Savory Food==&lt;br /&gt;
[[Homemade Gyoza and Wontons]]* (_!_)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Miso Soup]]* (!)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Ghetto-Fantastic Ramen]]* (_!_)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Fried Rice]]* (_!_)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Chicken Pot Pie From Scratch]] (__!__)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Rosemary and Honey Salmon]]* (!)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Beef with Barley Soup]]* (_!_)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Chicken Soup/Plague Remedy]]* (!)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Spicy Ravioli Soup]]* (!)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Rice Porridge/Pukes And Shits Remedy]]* (!)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[&amp;quot;Porchetta Italiana&amp;quot; - Dirty Eye-talian Style Pork Loin]] (_!_)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Eggplant Parmesan]] (__!__)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Bruschetta with Salted Tomatoes]]* (!)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Shredded &amp;quot;Hash Brown&amp;quot; Potato Pile]]* (__!__)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Matar Paneer]] (!)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Paneer Korma]] (_!_)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Kickass Homemade Malaysian Lamb Curry]] (_!_)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Malaysian Chicken Curry that I Made While In AZ]] (_!_)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Improvements on Asian Home Gourmet&#039;s Laksa Recipe]] (_!_)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[That Tasty Pot Roast That I Threw Up Behind Jim&#039;s Tent During The 2007 GNE War]] (_!_)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Moroccan-Spiced Stuffed Mushrooms]]* (_!_)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Salmon in a Puff Pastry Shell]]* (_!_)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Cheese &#039;Tatoes]]* x_x&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Ghetto Cheese Ravioli with Chicken and Pesto Sauce]]* (_!_)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Ghetto Wonton-Noodle Soup]]* (_!_)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Creamy Carrot Soup]] (_!_)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Coconut Chicken Soup]] (_!_)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Ginger and Scallion Steamed Fish]] (!)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Ghetto-Fabulous Ma Po Tofu]] (_!_)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Tea Eggs]] (!)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[&amp;quot;Funky Chinese Herb&amp;quot; Stew]] (_!_)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Toss]]* (__!__)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Why-I-Am-Going-To-Hell Spinach]] (!)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Bill of Larder from the 2008 GNE War, Courtesy of Vance, Thunder Mountain&#039;s Favorite Camp Cookie]] x_x&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Creamy Vegetable-Rice Soup/Fake Risotto]] (_!_)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Tasty Nasi Goreng made with Bamboe&#039;s Nasi Goreng spices]] (_!_)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Penang Curry with Basil]] (_!_)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Daikon Cake]] (_!_)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Heavenly Ghettalian Spaghetti Sauce]] (!)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[See Krong Tord Gratium (Thai style Pork Spareribs with Crispy Garlic and Pepper)]] (__!__)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Takrite Goong (Lemongrass Sticks with Minced Chicken, Prawns, and Pork)]] (__!__)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Salmon and Spinach Quiche (aka &amp;quot;Quiche So Good, She&#039;ll Pretty Much Have To Put Out&amp;quot;)]] x_x&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Ghetto-Fabulous Spicy Tuna a la Waldrop]]* (!)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Panko-Breaded Fish with Ginger Sauce]] (_!_)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Black Bean Sauce Pork Roast, Courtesy of Marti]] (_!_)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Flippin&#039; Sweet Spinach Dip]] x_x&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Chicken and Corn Risotto (warning: not for cooks who are ADD)]] (_!_)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Thai Pickles]] (!)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Moderately Nutritious Taco Salad]] (!)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Sexy Homemade Tater Tots]] (!)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[&amp;quot;Toss My&amp;quot; Salad]] (!)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Chicken Turnovers]] (_!_)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[The Cafe Congress&#039; &amp;quot;Heartbreaker&amp;quot; Plate]] x_x&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Beef Stew]] (_!_)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Efficient Broccoli &amp;amp; Rice]]* (!)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Holy-Crap-Good Cornbread]]* (!)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Poky Salad]]* (!)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Cafe-Style Chicken &amp;amp; Broccoli Alfredo]]* x_x&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Lo Mai Gai (Lotus-wrapped Chicken with Sticky Rice)]] (_!_)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Soup for a Sick Day]]&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Ghetto-Fraiche Lemon Tofu]]* (_!_)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Ghetto Coconut Noodle Soup]]* (_!_)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Take Me to Your Mama&#039;s for Rice &amp;amp; Beans]]&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Cruelty-free Bolognese Sauce]]&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Fake Thai Veggies]]&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Hoity Toity Farm-to-Table Frittata]]&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Total Flex-Cooking Lasagna From Scratch]]... but it&#039;s only mad flexin&#039; if you make it on a weeknight after work and don&#039;t start cooking until after 7pm.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Bagels from that stupid fucking long recipe]]&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
==Dessert==&lt;br /&gt;
[[Pie Crust]] (__!__)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Blackberry-Blueberry Pie]] (_!_)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Apple Pie]] (_!_)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Peach Pie with Star Anise]] (_!_)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Ginger Ice Cream]] (_!_)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Basil Ice Cream]] (_!_)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Krapp (Flambe)]] (__!__)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Dark Chocolate Cake]] (__!__)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Litterbox Cake]] (__!__)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Emme&#039;s Rum Balls]] (_!_)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Arschwein-Cookies]] (_!_)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Father-Hating-and-Shame Cookies]] (_!_)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Goth-Flavored Banana Bread]] (!)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[The Best Carrot Cake Ever, According to Two California Hippies]] (!)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Sun-Ripened Mixed New Galen Field Browns]] (_!_)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Bienenstich]] x_x&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Pandan-Banana Cake]] (_!_)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Delicious Fiber Bomb Bars]]* (!)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Hilary&#039;s Plum Torte]] (_!_)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Chocolate Oatmeal Cake]] (_!_)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Baked Apple-Thing]] (__!__)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Amanda&#039;s Mom&#039;s Cake]] (Red Velvet Cake filled with Grand Marnier-soaked Strawberries, covered in Homemade Creamcheese Frosting, Coconut and Almond Flakes) x_x&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Horror at Pompeii (Rice Krispy Treats)]]* (__!__)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Perfect 10 Legendary Munchies-Satisfying Cranberry Chocolate Chip Muffins]] (__!__)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Hello Kitty Cake Pops]]&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Ghetto Microwave Mochi]]&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Baked Raw Cookie Dough]]&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[French Macarons]] (__!__)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Buttercream]] (__!__)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Cranberry Orange Muffins, Jesse Pinkman method]]&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[B&#039;norange Banana Cake]]&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Rose &amp;amp; Herbes de Provence Olive Oil Cake]]&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[But It&#039;s Not Salad Cake]]&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Chocolate Babkallah]]&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Shokupan, bitches!]]&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Rosemary Brown Butter Apple Cake]]&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Definitive Brisket Recipe]]&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
==Drinkies==&lt;br /&gt;
[[Tears of Baby Jesus]] (_!_)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Rear of Baby Jesus]] (_!_)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Amaretto Smoothie]] (__!__)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Official Recipe for a Lady DiSaronno]] (_!_)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Dirty Hippie Blackberry-Mango Smoothie]] (!)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[How-I-Got-Registered-To-Vote-In-Cambridge Smoothie]] (!)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Vegan-Friendly Version of the How-I-Got-Registered-To-Vote-In-Cambridge Smoothie]] (!)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Coconut-Pandan Daiquiri]] (Creamy and yet dairy-free! For those of you who don&#039;t want your lactose intolerance flaring up and adding to the morning-after beer shits.) (__!__)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Eggnog (Johnson Family Recipe)]] (__!__)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Roger&#039;s Appletinis]] (!)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Spiced Pear]] (!)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Izzy&#039;s XXX Road Soda]] (!)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Courtney Love]] (!)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Izzy&#039;s Bloody Mary]]&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Cheapo Fruity Mimosa]] (!)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Poolside Sangria]] (!)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Tranny Chaser]]&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[The Main Event Cosmos]]&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Chai Sizzurp]]&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
&#039;&#039;&#039;&amp;lt;u&amp;gt;Le Bunghole Homebrews:&amp;lt;/u&amp;gt;&#039;&#039;&#039;&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Arschwein Beta Version]] (_!_)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Arschwein Version 1.0]] (_!_)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[&amp;quot;Djarum Black&amp;quot; Mead Beta Version]] (_!_)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[The Award-Winning Gargamel]] (_!_)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Infamous Bathtub Mead|Infamous Bathtub Mead (latest recipe has moved here until further notice)]] (_!_)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Viking Breakfast (Bacon Acerglyn)]] (_!_)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
==Misc==&lt;br /&gt;
[[Awesome Fake Satay Sauce]] (_!_)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Mutie&#039;s Honey Butter Recipe]] x_x&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[&amp;quot;Special Sauce&amp;quot;]] x_x&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Guacamole]] (_!_)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Tzatziki]] (!)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Extra-salty Soy-Garlic Marinade]] (__!__)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Extra-salty Soy-Ginger Marinade]] (__!__)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Creamy Fake Vomit]] x_x&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[How To Make a Bacon Candle]] x_x&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Oatmeal-Raisin Cardboard]] (!)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Homemade Turkey Broth]] (_!_)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Bizkits]]* (_!_)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
==Zahnnie&#039;s High-Fallutin&#039; Fancy-Pants Cookin&#039; Section==&lt;br /&gt;
With the recipes that follow, you will be able to easily convince your family and friends that you are a totally awesome cook, when in fact you&#039;re just making it up as you go. Never reveal this crucial secret.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[GGZ_Baked Potato Soup | Baked Potato Soup]] so good you just may cream your pants.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[GGZ_Moroccan Lamb | Moroccan Lamb Tagine]]&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[GGZ_Gnocchi | Homemade Gnocchi]]&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[GGZ_SausageLeekRagu | Sausage and Leek Ragu]] to go with the gnocchis. Mmm.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[GGZ_SausageLeekSoup | Sausage and Leek Soup]] inspired by the ragu. For the crockpot for extra laziness!&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[GGZ_Boozesicles | Boozesicles]] made especially by the lovely Zahnnie for Ubernerd&#039;s Tarts &#039;n Vicars/Good-Decisions party&lt;/div&gt;</summary>
		<author><name>Ubernerd</name></author>
	</entry>
	<entry>
		<id>https://wiki.utter-chaos.net/ucwiki/index.php?title=Rose_%26_Herbes_de_Provence_Olive_Oil_Cake&amp;diff=16777</id>
		<title>Rose &amp; Herbes de Provence Olive Oil Cake</title>
		<link rel="alternate" type="text/html" href="https://wiki.utter-chaos.net/ucwiki/index.php?title=Rose_%26_Herbes_de_Provence_Olive_Oil_Cake&amp;diff=16777"/>
		<updated>2024-11-10T16:21:21Z</updated>

		<summary type="html">&lt;p&gt;Ubernerd: &lt;/p&gt;
&lt;hr /&gt;
&lt;div&gt;1/2 Base recipe here: https://localmilkblog.com/2014/06/fennel-rose-olive-oil-cake.html&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[File:olive oil cake.png]]&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
Substitute 80g almond flour, 100g flour&lt;br /&gt;
The glaze recipe is bullshit. Use leftover buttermilk, a splash of the oj, and the rose water on the powdered sugar.&lt;/div&gt;</summary>
		<author><name>Ubernerd</name></author>
	</entry>
	<entry>
		<id>https://wiki.utter-chaos.net/ucwiki/index.php?title=File:Olive_oil_cake.png&amp;diff=16776</id>
		<title>File:Olive oil cake.png</title>
		<link rel="alternate" type="text/html" href="https://wiki.utter-chaos.net/ucwiki/index.php?title=File:Olive_oil_cake.png&amp;diff=16776"/>
		<updated>2024-11-10T16:20:25Z</updated>

		<summary type="html">&lt;p&gt;Ubernerd: screenshot&lt;/p&gt;
&lt;hr /&gt;
&lt;div&gt;screenshot&lt;/div&gt;</summary>
		<author><name>Ubernerd</name></author>
	</entry>
	<entry>
		<id>https://wiki.utter-chaos.net/ucwiki/index.php?title=Rosemary_Brown_Butter_Apple_Cake&amp;diff=16772</id>
		<title>Rosemary Brown Butter Apple Cake</title>
		<link rel="alternate" type="text/html" href="https://wiki.utter-chaos.net/ucwiki/index.php?title=Rosemary_Brown_Butter_Apple_Cake&amp;diff=16772"/>
		<updated>2024-10-13T16:03:57Z</updated>

		<summary type="html">&lt;p&gt;Ubernerd: &lt;/p&gt;
&lt;hr /&gt;
&lt;div&gt;You quit your job. You realize your deep-seated fears of being unproductive. You make a cake from a recipe you&#039;ve found on the internet.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
IngredientS:&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
- 6 tbsp butter&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
- 3 sprigs fresh rosemary&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
- 1 1/8 cup almond flour&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
- 1 tsp baking powder&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
- 1/4 tsp almond extract&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
- 1/4 tsp salt&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
- 1/2 cup brown sugar (loosely packed)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
- 2 eggs&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
- 1-2 large apples, sliced up some&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
- creem freeszh&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
Preheat yon trusty oven to 350. Lube up a 7-inch cake springform. &lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
Make ye olde brown&#039;d butter:&lt;br /&gt;
Put da butta and rosemary in a saucepan and crank it up to medium heat. Watch the butter melt, foam a lot, and then settle/brown, swirly occasionally. Should take between 2-4 min, but as soon as you see some brown speckles at the bottom of the pan and it starts smelling good &#039;n nutty, take it off the burner and let it cool. Pick out the butter-fried rosemary and save it for eating later.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
Make the cake batter:&lt;br /&gt;
Mix almond flour, baking powder, salt, brown sugar, almond extract, eggs in a bowl. Fold in the cooled brown butter until it&#039;s just combined. It&#039;ll be sloppy lookin&#039;. In go the apple slices. Pour it all into the lubed up pan.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
Bake for 40 min. Toothpick test works. Cool and do that 90&#039;s thing with the powdered sugar on top.&lt;/div&gt;</summary>
		<author><name>Ubernerd</name></author>
	</entry>
	<entry>
		<id>https://wiki.utter-chaos.net/ucwiki/index.php?title=Rosemary_Brown_Butter_Apple_Cake&amp;diff=16771</id>
		<title>Rosemary Brown Butter Apple Cake</title>
		<link rel="alternate" type="text/html" href="https://wiki.utter-chaos.net/ucwiki/index.php?title=Rosemary_Brown_Butter_Apple_Cake&amp;diff=16771"/>
		<updated>2024-10-13T13:36:23Z</updated>

		<summary type="html">&lt;p&gt;Ubernerd: Created page with &amp;quot;You quit your job. You realize your deep-seated fears of being unproductive. You make a cake from a recipe you&amp;#039;ve found on the internet.  IngredientS:  - 6 tbsp butter  - 1 sp...&amp;quot;&lt;/p&gt;
&lt;hr /&gt;
&lt;div&gt;You quit your job. You realize your deep-seated fears of being unproductive. You make a cake from a recipe you&#039;ve found on the internet.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
IngredientS:&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
- 6 tbsp butter&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
- 1 sprig fresh rosemary&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
- 1 1/8 cup almond flour&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
- 1 tsp baking powder&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
- 1/4 tsp almond extract&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
- 1/4 tsp salt&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
- 1/4 cup brown sugar (loosely packed)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
- 2 eggs&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
- 1-2 large apples, sliced up some&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
- creem freeszh&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
Preheat yon trusty oven to 350. Lube up a 7-inch cake springform. &lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
Make ye olde brown&#039;d butter:&lt;br /&gt;
Put da butta and rosemary in a saucepan and crank it up to medium heat. Watch the butter melt, foam a lot, and then settle/brown, swirly occasionally. Should take between 2-4 min, but as soon as you see some brown speckles at the bottom of the pan and it starts smelling good &#039;n nutty, take it off the burner and let it cool.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
Make the cake batter:&lt;br /&gt;
Mix almond flour, baking powder, salt, brown sugar, almond extract, eggs in a bowl. Fold in the cooled brown butter until it&#039;s just combined. It&#039;ll be sloppy lookin&#039;. In go the apple slices. Pour it all into the lubed up pan.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
Bake for 40 min. Toothpick test works. Cool and do that 90&#039;s thing with the powdered sugar on top.&lt;/div&gt;</summary>
		<author><name>Ubernerd</name></author>
	</entry>
	<entry>
		<id>https://wiki.utter-chaos.net/ucwiki/index.php?title=The_Ghetto_Gourmet&amp;diff=16770</id>
		<title>The Ghetto Gourmet</title>
		<link rel="alternate" type="text/html" href="https://wiki.utter-chaos.net/ucwiki/index.php?title=The_Ghetto_Gourmet&amp;diff=16770"/>
		<updated>2024-10-13T13:23:02Z</updated>

		<summary type="html">&lt;p&gt;Ubernerd: &lt;/p&gt;
&lt;hr /&gt;
&lt;div&gt;Welcome to The Ghetto Gourmet; a repository for the recipes that require quantifiable measurements I actually need to look up... and then some experimental stuff in development.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
BUT BEFORE YOU BEGIN, click [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=r9uOQTcDURU&amp;amp;feature=use here]&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
The recipes denoted with an asterisk (*) are considered &amp;quot;Recipes for the Extra Ghetto&amp;quot; and people with little time/skill to devote to preparing healthy meals.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
Per a recent request, I&#039;ve added a section for [[User:Zahnnie|Zahnnie]] (who played a part in The Ghetto Gourmet through the college years) called &amp;quot;Zahnnie&#039;s High-Fallutin&#039; Fancy-Pants Cookin&#039; Section&amp;quot; which is where her collection of &amp;quot;recipes made to impress people&amp;quot; is located. [[User:Zahnnie|Zahnnie]]&#039;s specialty is Moroccan cuisine, and she likes to cook things in her &amp;lt;s&amp;gt;vagine&amp;lt;/s&amp;gt; tagine.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[User:Caryatid|Caryatid]] included an awesome dietary analysis on one of my recipes which I thought added a lot of value. Unfortunately, I don&#039;t have the time to go through each and every recipe and analyze it in through detail, so I have now added simple assicon scaling as an easy way for people to tell which recipes are healthy here and which are... less so. Please refer to the following scale:&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
(!) - Skinny ass. Denotes recipes that would be good as part of a diet for people who are health-conscious or trying to lose weight. Relatively guilt-free eating.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
(_!_) - Normal ass. Denotes recipes that are generally healthy, and meant to be enjoyed regularly.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
(__!__) - Desk ass. Denotes recipes that should probably be enjoyed in moderation, lest you get desk ass.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
x_x - Heart attack. Okay, I know this isn&#039;t technically an assicon, but it&#039;s more accurate than saying &amp;quot;wide load&amp;quot;. Denotes recipes that I would recommend busting out as special treats, because including them as a regular staple in your diet will probably give you a heart attack.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
==Savory Food==&lt;br /&gt;
[[Homemade Gyoza and Wontons]]* (_!_)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Miso Soup]]* (!)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Ghetto-Fantastic Ramen]]* (_!_)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Fried Rice]]* (_!_)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Chicken Pot Pie From Scratch]] (__!__)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Rosemary and Honey Salmon]]* (!)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Beef with Barley Soup]]* (_!_)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Chicken Soup/Plague Remedy]]* (!)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Spicy Ravioli Soup]]* (!)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Rice Porridge/Pukes And Shits Remedy]]* (!)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[&amp;quot;Porchetta Italiana&amp;quot; - Dirty Eye-talian Style Pork Loin]] (_!_)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Eggplant Parmesan]] (__!__)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Bruschetta with Salted Tomatoes]]* (!)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Shredded &amp;quot;Hash Brown&amp;quot; Potato Pile]]* (__!__)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Matar Paneer]] (!)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Paneer Korma]] (_!_)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Kickass Homemade Malaysian Lamb Curry]] (_!_)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Malaysian Chicken Curry that I Made While In AZ]] (_!_)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Improvements on Asian Home Gourmet&#039;s Laksa Recipe]] (_!_)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[That Tasty Pot Roast That I Threw Up Behind Jim&#039;s Tent During The 2007 GNE War]] (_!_)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Moroccan-Spiced Stuffed Mushrooms]]* (_!_)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Salmon in a Puff Pastry Shell]]* (_!_)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Cheese &#039;Tatoes]]* x_x&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Ghetto Cheese Ravioli with Chicken and Pesto Sauce]]* (_!_)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Ghetto Wonton-Noodle Soup]]* (_!_)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Creamy Carrot Soup]] (_!_)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Coconut Chicken Soup]] (_!_)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Ginger and Scallion Steamed Fish]] (!)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Ghetto-Fabulous Ma Po Tofu]] (_!_)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Tea Eggs]] (!)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[&amp;quot;Funky Chinese Herb&amp;quot; Stew]] (_!_)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Toss]]* (__!__)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Why-I-Am-Going-To-Hell Spinach]] (!)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Bill of Larder from the 2008 GNE War, Courtesy of Vance, Thunder Mountain&#039;s Favorite Camp Cookie]] x_x&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Creamy Vegetable-Rice Soup/Fake Risotto]] (_!_)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Tasty Nasi Goreng made with Bamboe&#039;s Nasi Goreng spices]] (_!_)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Penang Curry with Basil]] (_!_)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Daikon Cake]] (_!_)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Heavenly Ghettalian Spaghetti Sauce]] (!)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[See Krong Tord Gratium (Thai style Pork Spareribs with Crispy Garlic and Pepper)]] (__!__)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Takrite Goong (Lemongrass Sticks with Minced Chicken, Prawns, and Pork)]] (__!__)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Salmon and Spinach Quiche (aka &amp;quot;Quiche So Good, She&#039;ll Pretty Much Have To Put Out&amp;quot;)]] x_x&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Ghetto-Fabulous Spicy Tuna a la Waldrop]]* (!)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Panko-Breaded Fish with Ginger Sauce]] (_!_)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Black Bean Sauce Pork Roast, Courtesy of Marti]] (_!_)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Flippin&#039; Sweet Spinach Dip]] x_x&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Chicken and Corn Risotto (warning: not for cooks who are ADD)]] (_!_)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Thai Pickles]] (!)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Moderately Nutritious Taco Salad]] (!)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Sexy Homemade Tater Tots]] (!)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[&amp;quot;Toss My&amp;quot; Salad]] (!)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Chicken Turnovers]] (_!_)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[The Cafe Congress&#039; &amp;quot;Heartbreaker&amp;quot; Plate]] x_x&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Beef Stew]] (_!_)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Efficient Broccoli &amp;amp; Rice]]* (!)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Holy-Crap-Good Cornbread]]* (!)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Poky Salad]]* (!)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Cafe-Style Chicken &amp;amp; Broccoli Alfredo]]* x_x&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Lo Mai Gai (Lotus-wrapped Chicken with Sticky Rice)]] (_!_)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Soup for a Sick Day]]&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Ghetto-Fraiche Lemon Tofu]]* (_!_)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Ghetto Coconut Noodle Soup]]* (_!_)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Take Me to Your Mama&#039;s for Rice &amp;amp; Beans]]&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Cruelty-free Bolognese Sauce]]&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Fake Thai Veggies]]&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Hoity Toity Farm-to-Table Frittata]]&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Total Flex-Cooking Lasagna From Scratch]]... but it&#039;s only mad flexin&#039; if you make it on a weeknight after work and don&#039;t start cooking until after 7pm.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Bagels from that stupid fucking long recipe]]&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
==Dessert==&lt;br /&gt;
[[Pie Crust]] (__!__)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Blackberry-Blueberry Pie]] (_!_)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Apple Pie]] (_!_)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Peach Pie with Star Anise]] (_!_)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Ginger Ice Cream]] (_!_)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Basil Ice Cream]] (_!_)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Krapp (Flambe)]] (__!__)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Dark Chocolate Cake]] (__!__)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Litterbox Cake]] (__!__)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Emme&#039;s Rum Balls]] (_!_)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Arschwein-Cookies]] (_!_)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Father-Hating-and-Shame Cookies]] (_!_)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Goth-Flavored Banana Bread]] (!)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[The Best Carrot Cake Ever, According to Two California Hippies]] (!)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Sun-Ripened Mixed New Galen Field Browns]] (_!_)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Bienenstich]] x_x&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Pandan-Banana Cake]] (_!_)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Delicious Fiber Bomb Bars]]* (!)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Hilary&#039;s Plum Torte]] (_!_)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Chocolate Oatmeal Cake]] (_!_)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Baked Apple-Thing]] (__!__)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Amanda&#039;s Mom&#039;s Cake]] (Red Velvet Cake filled with Grand Marnier-soaked Strawberries, covered in Homemade Creamcheese Frosting, Coconut and Almond Flakes) x_x&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Horror at Pompeii (Rice Krispy Treats)]]* (__!__)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Perfect 10 Legendary Munchies-Satisfying Cranberry Chocolate Chip Muffins]] (__!__)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Hello Kitty Cake Pops]]&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Ghetto Microwave Mochi]]&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Baked Raw Cookie Dough]]&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[French Macarons]] (__!__)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Buttercream]] (__!__)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Cranberry Orange Muffins, Jesse Pinkman method]]&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[B&#039;norange Banana Cake]]&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Rose &amp;amp; Herbes de Provence Olive Oil Cake]]&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[But It&#039;s Not Salad Cake]]&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Chocolate Babkallah]]&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Shokupan, bitches!]]&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Rosemary Brown Butter Apple Cake]]&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
==Drinkies==&lt;br /&gt;
[[Tears of Baby Jesus]] (_!_)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Rear of Baby Jesus]] (_!_)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Amaretto Smoothie]] (__!__)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Official Recipe for a Lady DiSaronno]] (_!_)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Dirty Hippie Blackberry-Mango Smoothie]] (!)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[How-I-Got-Registered-To-Vote-In-Cambridge Smoothie]] (!)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Vegan-Friendly Version of the How-I-Got-Registered-To-Vote-In-Cambridge Smoothie]] (!)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Coconut-Pandan Daiquiri]] (Creamy and yet dairy-free! For those of you who don&#039;t want your lactose intolerance flaring up and adding to the morning-after beer shits.) (__!__)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Eggnog (Johnson Family Recipe)]] (__!__)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Roger&#039;s Appletinis]] (!)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Spiced Pear]] (!)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Izzy&#039;s XXX Road Soda]] (!)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Courtney Love]] (!)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Izzy&#039;s Bloody Mary]]&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Cheapo Fruity Mimosa]] (!)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Poolside Sangria]] (!)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Tranny Chaser]]&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[The Main Event Cosmos]]&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Chai Sizzurp]]&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
&#039;&#039;&#039;&amp;lt;u&amp;gt;Le Bunghole Homebrews:&amp;lt;/u&amp;gt;&#039;&#039;&#039;&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Arschwein Beta Version]] (_!_)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Arschwein Version 1.0]] (_!_)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[&amp;quot;Djarum Black&amp;quot; Mead Beta Version]] (_!_)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[The Award-Winning Gargamel]] (_!_)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Infamous Bathtub Mead|Infamous Bathtub Mead (latest recipe has moved here until further notice)]] (_!_)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Viking Breakfast (Bacon Acerglyn)]] (_!_)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
==Misc==&lt;br /&gt;
[[Awesome Fake Satay Sauce]] (_!_)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Mutie&#039;s Honey Butter Recipe]] x_x&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[&amp;quot;Special Sauce&amp;quot;]] x_x&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Guacamole]] (_!_)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Tzatziki]] (!)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Extra-salty Soy-Garlic Marinade]] (__!__)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Extra-salty Soy-Ginger Marinade]] (__!__)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Creamy Fake Vomit]] x_x&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[How To Make a Bacon Candle]] x_x&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Oatmeal-Raisin Cardboard]] (!)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Homemade Turkey Broth]] (_!_)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Bizkits]]* (_!_)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
==Zahnnie&#039;s High-Fallutin&#039; Fancy-Pants Cookin&#039; Section==&lt;br /&gt;
With the recipes that follow, you will be able to easily convince your family and friends that you are a totally awesome cook, when in fact you&#039;re just making it up as you go. Never reveal this crucial secret.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[GGZ_Baked Potato Soup | Baked Potato Soup]] so good you just may cream your pants.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[GGZ_Moroccan Lamb | Moroccan Lamb Tagine]]&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[GGZ_Gnocchi | Homemade Gnocchi]]&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[GGZ_SausageLeekRagu | Sausage and Leek Ragu]] to go with the gnocchis. Mmm.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[GGZ_SausageLeekSoup | Sausage and Leek Soup]] inspired by the ragu. For the crockpot for extra laziness!&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[GGZ_Boozesicles | Boozesicles]] made especially by the lovely Zahnnie for Ubernerd&#039;s Tarts &#039;n Vicars/Good-Decisions party&lt;/div&gt;</summary>
		<author><name>Ubernerd</name></author>
	</entry>
	<entry>
		<id>https://wiki.utter-chaos.net/ucwiki/index.php?title=Chai_Sizzurp&amp;diff=16769</id>
		<title>Chai Sizzurp</title>
		<link rel="alternate" type="text/html" href="https://wiki.utter-chaos.net/ucwiki/index.php?title=Chai_Sizzurp&amp;diff=16769"/>
		<updated>2024-01-07T19:17:53Z</updated>

		<summary type="html">&lt;p&gt;Ubernerd: Created page with &amp;quot;Ingredients:  10 cardamom pods (whack &amp;#039;em open)  0.25tsp nutmeg  4 whole cloves  1 star anise  0.5tsp ground ginger  10 peppercorns (optional)  1.5 cup water  1 cup sugar  6 t...&amp;quot;&lt;/p&gt;
&lt;hr /&gt;
&lt;div&gt;Ingredients:&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
10 cardamom pods (whack &#039;em open)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
0.25tsp nutmeg&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
4 whole cloves&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
1 star anise&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
0.5tsp ground ginger&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
10 peppercorns (optional)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
1.5 cup water&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
1 cup sugar&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
6 teabags&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
Dry toast all the spices. Then add the 1.5 cup hot water. Simmer for 15 minutes. Add teabags. Let steep for 30 minutes to 1 hour. Pull &#039;em out. Then add sugar and simmer with lid off pot until you get the desired sizzurpy consistency. Store in da fridge.&lt;/div&gt;</summary>
		<author><name>Ubernerd</name></author>
	</entry>
	<entry>
		<id>https://wiki.utter-chaos.net/ucwiki/index.php?title=The_Ghetto_Gourmet&amp;diff=16768</id>
		<title>The Ghetto Gourmet</title>
		<link rel="alternate" type="text/html" href="https://wiki.utter-chaos.net/ucwiki/index.php?title=The_Ghetto_Gourmet&amp;diff=16768"/>
		<updated>2024-01-07T19:04:36Z</updated>

		<summary type="html">&lt;p&gt;Ubernerd: &lt;/p&gt;
&lt;hr /&gt;
&lt;div&gt;Welcome to The Ghetto Gourmet; a repository for the recipes that require quantifiable measurements I actually need to look up... and then some experimental stuff in development.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
BUT BEFORE YOU BEGIN, click [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=r9uOQTcDURU&amp;amp;feature=use here]&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
The recipes denoted with an asterisk (*) are considered &amp;quot;Recipes for the Extra Ghetto&amp;quot; and people with little time/skill to devote to preparing healthy meals.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
Per a recent request, I&#039;ve added a section for [[User:Zahnnie|Zahnnie]] (who played a part in The Ghetto Gourmet through the college years) called &amp;quot;Zahnnie&#039;s High-Fallutin&#039; Fancy-Pants Cookin&#039; Section&amp;quot; which is where her collection of &amp;quot;recipes made to impress people&amp;quot; is located. [[User:Zahnnie|Zahnnie]]&#039;s specialty is Moroccan cuisine, and she likes to cook things in her &amp;lt;s&amp;gt;vagine&amp;lt;/s&amp;gt; tagine.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[User:Caryatid|Caryatid]] included an awesome dietary analysis on one of my recipes which I thought added a lot of value. Unfortunately, I don&#039;t have the time to go through each and every recipe and analyze it in through detail, so I have now added simple assicon scaling as an easy way for people to tell which recipes are healthy here and which are... less so. Please refer to the following scale:&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
(!) - Skinny ass. Denotes recipes that would be good as part of a diet for people who are health-conscious or trying to lose weight. Relatively guilt-free eating.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
(_!_) - Normal ass. Denotes recipes that are generally healthy, and meant to be enjoyed regularly.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
(__!__) - Desk ass. Denotes recipes that should probably be enjoyed in moderation, lest you get desk ass.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
x_x - Heart attack. Okay, I know this isn&#039;t technically an assicon, but it&#039;s more accurate than saying &amp;quot;wide load&amp;quot;. Denotes recipes that I would recommend busting out as special treats, because including them as a regular staple in your diet will probably give you a heart attack.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
==Savory Food==&lt;br /&gt;
[[Homemade Gyoza and Wontons]]* (_!_)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Miso Soup]]* (!)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Ghetto-Fantastic Ramen]]* (_!_)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Fried Rice]]* (_!_)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Chicken Pot Pie From Scratch]] (__!__)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Rosemary and Honey Salmon]]* (!)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Beef with Barley Soup]]* (_!_)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Chicken Soup/Plague Remedy]]* (!)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Spicy Ravioli Soup]]* (!)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Rice Porridge/Pukes And Shits Remedy]]* (!)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[&amp;quot;Porchetta Italiana&amp;quot; - Dirty Eye-talian Style Pork Loin]] (_!_)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Eggplant Parmesan]] (__!__)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Bruschetta with Salted Tomatoes]]* (!)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Shredded &amp;quot;Hash Brown&amp;quot; Potato Pile]]* (__!__)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Matar Paneer]] (!)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Paneer Korma]] (_!_)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Kickass Homemade Malaysian Lamb Curry]] (_!_)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Malaysian Chicken Curry that I Made While In AZ]] (_!_)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Improvements on Asian Home Gourmet&#039;s Laksa Recipe]] (_!_)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[That Tasty Pot Roast That I Threw Up Behind Jim&#039;s Tent During The 2007 GNE War]] (_!_)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Moroccan-Spiced Stuffed Mushrooms]]* (_!_)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Salmon in a Puff Pastry Shell]]* (_!_)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Cheese &#039;Tatoes]]* x_x&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Ghetto Cheese Ravioli with Chicken and Pesto Sauce]]* (_!_)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Ghetto Wonton-Noodle Soup]]* (_!_)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Creamy Carrot Soup]] (_!_)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Coconut Chicken Soup]] (_!_)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Ginger and Scallion Steamed Fish]] (!)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Ghetto-Fabulous Ma Po Tofu]] (_!_)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Tea Eggs]] (!)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[&amp;quot;Funky Chinese Herb&amp;quot; Stew]] (_!_)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Toss]]* (__!__)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Why-I-Am-Going-To-Hell Spinach]] (!)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Bill of Larder from the 2008 GNE War, Courtesy of Vance, Thunder Mountain&#039;s Favorite Camp Cookie]] x_x&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Creamy Vegetable-Rice Soup/Fake Risotto]] (_!_)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Tasty Nasi Goreng made with Bamboe&#039;s Nasi Goreng spices]] (_!_)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Penang Curry with Basil]] (_!_)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Daikon Cake]] (_!_)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Heavenly Ghettalian Spaghetti Sauce]] (!)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[See Krong Tord Gratium (Thai style Pork Spareribs with Crispy Garlic and Pepper)]] (__!__)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Takrite Goong (Lemongrass Sticks with Minced Chicken, Prawns, and Pork)]] (__!__)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Salmon and Spinach Quiche (aka &amp;quot;Quiche So Good, She&#039;ll Pretty Much Have To Put Out&amp;quot;)]] x_x&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Ghetto-Fabulous Spicy Tuna a la Waldrop]]* (!)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Panko-Breaded Fish with Ginger Sauce]] (_!_)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Black Bean Sauce Pork Roast, Courtesy of Marti]] (_!_)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Flippin&#039; Sweet Spinach Dip]] x_x&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Chicken and Corn Risotto (warning: not for cooks who are ADD)]] (_!_)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Thai Pickles]] (!)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Moderately Nutritious Taco Salad]] (!)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Sexy Homemade Tater Tots]] (!)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[&amp;quot;Toss My&amp;quot; Salad]] (!)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Chicken Turnovers]] (_!_)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[The Cafe Congress&#039; &amp;quot;Heartbreaker&amp;quot; Plate]] x_x&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Beef Stew]] (_!_)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Efficient Broccoli &amp;amp; Rice]]* (!)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Holy-Crap-Good Cornbread]]* (!)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Poky Salad]]* (!)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Cafe-Style Chicken &amp;amp; Broccoli Alfredo]]* x_x&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Lo Mai Gai (Lotus-wrapped Chicken with Sticky Rice)]] (_!_)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Soup for a Sick Day]]&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Ghetto-Fraiche Lemon Tofu]]* (_!_)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Ghetto Coconut Noodle Soup]]* (_!_)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Take Me to Your Mama&#039;s for Rice &amp;amp; Beans]]&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Cruelty-free Bolognese Sauce]]&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Fake Thai Veggies]]&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Hoity Toity Farm-to-Table Frittata]]&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Total Flex-Cooking Lasagna From Scratch]]... but it&#039;s only mad flexin&#039; if you make it on a weeknight after work and don&#039;t start cooking until after 7pm.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Bagels from that stupid fucking long recipe]]&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
==Dessert==&lt;br /&gt;
[[Pie Crust]] (__!__)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Blackberry-Blueberry Pie]] (_!_)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Apple Pie]] (_!_)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Peach Pie with Star Anise]] (_!_)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Ginger Ice Cream]] (_!_)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Basil Ice Cream]] (_!_)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Krapp (Flambe)]] (__!__)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Dark Chocolate Cake]] (__!__)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Litterbox Cake]] (__!__)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Emme&#039;s Rum Balls]] (_!_)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Arschwein-Cookies]] (_!_)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Father-Hating-and-Shame Cookies]] (_!_)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Goth-Flavored Banana Bread]] (!)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[The Best Carrot Cake Ever, According to Two California Hippies]] (!)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Sun-Ripened Mixed New Galen Field Browns]] (_!_)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Bienenstich]] x_x&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Pandan-Banana Cake]] (_!_)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Delicious Fiber Bomb Bars]]* (!)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Hilary&#039;s Plum Torte]] (_!_)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Chocolate Oatmeal Cake]] (_!_)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Baked Apple-Thing]] (__!__)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Amanda&#039;s Mom&#039;s Cake]] (Red Velvet Cake filled with Grand Marnier-soaked Strawberries, covered in Homemade Creamcheese Frosting, Coconut and Almond Flakes) x_x&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Horror at Pompeii (Rice Krispy Treats)]]* (__!__)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Perfect 10 Legendary Munchies-Satisfying Cranberry Chocolate Chip Muffins]] (__!__)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Hello Kitty Cake Pops]]&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Ghetto Microwave Mochi]]&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Baked Raw Cookie Dough]]&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[French Macarons]] (__!__)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Buttercream]] (__!__)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Cranberry Orange Muffins, Jesse Pinkman method]]&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[B&#039;norange Banana Cake]]&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Rose &amp;amp; Herbes de Provence Olive Oil Cake]]&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[But It&#039;s Not Salad Cake]]&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Chocolate Babkallah]]&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Shokupan, bitches!]]&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
==Drinkies==&lt;br /&gt;
[[Tears of Baby Jesus]] (_!_)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Rear of Baby Jesus]] (_!_)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Amaretto Smoothie]] (__!__)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Official Recipe for a Lady DiSaronno]] (_!_)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Dirty Hippie Blackberry-Mango Smoothie]] (!)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[How-I-Got-Registered-To-Vote-In-Cambridge Smoothie]] (!)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Vegan-Friendly Version of the How-I-Got-Registered-To-Vote-In-Cambridge Smoothie]] (!)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Coconut-Pandan Daiquiri]] (Creamy and yet dairy-free! For those of you who don&#039;t want your lactose intolerance flaring up and adding to the morning-after beer shits.) (__!__)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Eggnog (Johnson Family Recipe)]] (__!__)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Roger&#039;s Appletinis]] (!)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Spiced Pear]] (!)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Izzy&#039;s XXX Road Soda]] (!)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Courtney Love]] (!)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Izzy&#039;s Bloody Mary]]&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Cheapo Fruity Mimosa]] (!)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Poolside Sangria]] (!)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Tranny Chaser]]&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[The Main Event Cosmos]]&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Chai Sizzurp]]&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
&#039;&#039;&#039;&amp;lt;u&amp;gt;Le Bunghole Homebrews:&amp;lt;/u&amp;gt;&#039;&#039;&#039;&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Arschwein Beta Version]] (_!_)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Arschwein Version 1.0]] (_!_)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[&amp;quot;Djarum Black&amp;quot; Mead Beta Version]] (_!_)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[The Award-Winning Gargamel]] (_!_)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Infamous Bathtub Mead|Infamous Bathtub Mead (latest recipe has moved here until further notice)]] (_!_)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Viking Breakfast (Bacon Acerglyn)]] (_!_)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
==Misc==&lt;br /&gt;
[[Awesome Fake Satay Sauce]] (_!_)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Mutie&#039;s Honey Butter Recipe]] x_x&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[&amp;quot;Special Sauce&amp;quot;]] x_x&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Guacamole]] (_!_)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Tzatziki]] (!)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Extra-salty Soy-Garlic Marinade]] (__!__)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Extra-salty Soy-Ginger Marinade]] (__!__)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Creamy Fake Vomit]] x_x&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[How To Make a Bacon Candle]] x_x&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Oatmeal-Raisin Cardboard]] (!)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Homemade Turkey Broth]] (_!_)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[Bizkits]]* (_!_)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
==Zahnnie&#039;s High-Fallutin&#039; Fancy-Pants Cookin&#039; Section==&lt;br /&gt;
With the recipes that follow, you will be able to easily convince your family and friends that you are a totally awesome cook, when in fact you&#039;re just making it up as you go. Never reveal this crucial secret.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[GGZ_Baked Potato Soup | Baked Potato Soup]] so good you just may cream your pants.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[GGZ_Moroccan Lamb | Moroccan Lamb Tagine]]&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[GGZ_Gnocchi | Homemade Gnocchi]]&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[GGZ_SausageLeekRagu | Sausage and Leek Ragu]] to go with the gnocchis. Mmm.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[GGZ_SausageLeekSoup | Sausage and Leek Soup]] inspired by the ragu. For the crockpot for extra laziness!&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
[[GGZ_Boozesicles | Boozesicles]] made especially by the lovely Zahnnie for Ubernerd&#039;s Tarts &#039;n Vicars/Good-Decisions party&lt;/div&gt;</summary>
		<author><name>Ubernerd</name></author>
	</entry>
	<entry>
		<id>https://wiki.utter-chaos.net/ucwiki/index.php?title=Talk:Shokupan,_bitches!&amp;diff=16766</id>
		<title>Talk:Shokupan, bitches!</title>
		<link rel="alternate" type="text/html" href="https://wiki.utter-chaos.net/ucwiki/index.php?title=Talk:Shokupan,_bitches!&amp;diff=16766"/>
		<updated>2023-11-16T01:07:35Z</updated>

		<summary type="html">&lt;p&gt;Ubernerd: &lt;/p&gt;
&lt;hr /&gt;
&lt;div&gt;first loaf came out very neutral. Double up sugar for extra sweetness? - doubled officially in recipe.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
Next Up, nama shokupan (half the recipe):&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
Japanese Rich White Bread Ingredients&lt;br /&gt;
・500g Bread flour&lt;br /&gt;
・7g Salt&lt;br /&gt;
・80g Sugar&lt;br /&gt;
・6g Dry yeast&lt;br /&gt;
・200ml Heavy Cream&lt;br /&gt;
・220g Milk&lt;br /&gt;
・30g Butter&lt;br /&gt;
・Shortening&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
ーRecipeー&lt;br /&gt;
1.Add bread flour, salt, sugar, dry yeast and heavy cream to a rice cake machine and knead dough.  After the dough becomes together, add butter and knead again (10-15mins in total).&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
2. Strech the dough and when it is not broken easily, add the dough to a bowl.  Roll the dough into a ball and make the surface smooth.  Leave the dough at 35C/95F until the dough get double the size.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
3. Punch down the dough and divide into 4 pieces.  Rest the dough for 10mins.  Spread shortening on the mold during that 10mins.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
4. Roll out the dough to square shape and fold in three and make it a round shape.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
5. Put 4 into the mold and leave it at 40C/104F until the dough gets 80% the size of the mold (about for an hour).&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
6. Preheat the oven at 180℃ / 356F and bake for 20mins.  Turn down the oven to 160℃ / 320F and bake for 20mins.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
From here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=97WSiwYt9qw&lt;/div&gt;</summary>
		<author><name>Ubernerd</name></author>
	</entry>
	<entry>
		<id>https://wiki.utter-chaos.net/ucwiki/index.php?title=Shokupan,_bitches!&amp;diff=16765</id>
		<title>Shokupan, bitches!</title>
		<link rel="alternate" type="text/html" href="https://wiki.utter-chaos.net/ucwiki/index.php?title=Shokupan,_bitches!&amp;diff=16765"/>
		<updated>2023-11-16T01:04:23Z</updated>

		<summary type="html">&lt;p&gt;Ubernerd: &lt;/p&gt;
&lt;hr /&gt;
&lt;div&gt;That trip to Japan with Masumi ruined me on so many foods. One of them is shokupan. So I&#039;ve been on a QUEST to make my own, starting with buying my own Ideal Loaf Pan from Asai Shoten (I can&#039;t believe how much smaller it is in real life than I imagined. At the rate I eat shokupan, I&#039;m going to need to make bread every other damn day. But at least it fits in my Instant Pot for proofing!). Based on the [https://www.justonecookbook.com/japanese-milk-bread-shokupan/#h-how-to-slice-japanese-milk-bread Just One Cookbook] recipe, which is geared for successful shokupan making in SF kitchen conditions, but had too many pictures and unsolicited advice.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
&#039;&#039;&#039;Ingredients (for the 1 kin Ideal Loaf pan from Asai Shoten):&#039;&#039;&#039;&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
167g water at 104 deg (use electric kettle)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
28g sugar&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
2.25g salt&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
7g honey&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
4.7g RapidRise yeast or similar&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
235g bread flour (use King Arthur)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
14g Canadian skim milk powder&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
17g unsalted butter (that&#039;s a teeny bit over 1 tbsp) + 10g (that&#039;s a teeny bit under 1 tbsp) more for greasing the bread pan&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
a few drops of oil&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
&#039;&#039;&#039;Special Tools:&#039;&#039;&#039;&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
- Ideal Loaf Pan (1 kin) from Asai Shoten&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
- Instant Pot with Yogurt setting&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
- Electric Kettle with 104 deg setting on it&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
- Crack scale&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
- Rolling pin&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
- Kitchenaid Classic mixer (instructions and mixing times specific to this mixer)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
- Pastry brush (optional, if you don&#039;t wanna get your fingers all greasy)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
- 1 medium bowl&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
- Whatever weighing receptacle you want to use (I used a tiny pyrex beaker)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
- Rubber spatula&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
- Instant read thermometer&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
God that&#039;s so much shit that I&#039;ve accumulated in my kitchen over the years.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
1. In the medium bowl, weight out and measure the sugar and salt. Weigh the honey in whatever measuring receptacle can hold that and the water.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
2. Heat up the water in the kettle to 104 degrees. Pat yourself on the back for having bought a kettle that does this. Weigh out the warm water into the vessel with the honey and swirl to mix it into honey water.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
3. Sprinkle your yeast on top of the warm water. Wait around a few minutes to make sure it gets that yeasty smell to know it&#039;s active. Pour it all into the medium bowl with the sugar and salt, and stir around. Make sure you scrape in all the yeasty bits from the measuring container. Put the bowl with the liquid in the microwave and let it hang out there for 10 minutes.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
4. Chop up the unsalted butter into little butter bits. Weigh out the flour and milk powder into the Kitchenaid mixing bowl. Stir around to combine it, then dig a well in the center.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
5. Make sure that yeasty water is foamy and alive. If it isn&#039;t, wait 5 more min. If it&#039;s not foamy by then, it&#039;s dead. Chuck it and try with better yeast. If it&#039;s good to go, scrape it all into the center well of the flour in the Kitchenaid bowl. Mix it up by hand with the spatula until it&#039;s mixed together.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
6. Knead on speed 2 for 2 minutes using the dough hook&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
7. Knead on speed 4 for 4 minutes&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
8. Add the butter bits and knead on speed 2 for 2 minutes (or until the butter is absorbed)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
9. Knead on speed 4 for 4 minutes&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
10. Knead on speed 6 for 4.5 minutes. Be careful to hold onto your stand mixer to not let it shake itself off the table.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
11. Stop and do a windowpane check. The dough should all come of in one piece from the bottom of the bowl easily. Rip off a golf ball sized amount of dough and pull until light goes through without tearing the dough. If it&#039;s good to go, awesome. If not knead for 1 more minute or so and try again. Don&#039;t over-knead it (dough will be floppy and flaccid instead of pulling up in one piece from the bottom of the bowl)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
12. Stick an instant read thermometer into the bulk of the dough and make sure it is between 79 and 82 degrees. It should be if you follow this recipe exactly.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
13. Scrape all the dough onto a lightly floured surface. The &amp;quot;smooth&amp;quot; side is now down on the table. Keep track of it.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
14. Pick up the dough, flip it over in your hand, and then smack it down onto the counter, smooth side down. Fold the dough in half, by bringing the top edge down to meet the bottom&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
15. Smack the dough on the counter smooth side down (it should be all of it). Fold in half, left to right.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
16. Repeat steps 14 and 15 alternatingly for a total of 5 smack-fold combos (smack, fold vertical, smack, fold horizontal, smack, fold vertical)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
17. Lube up your Instant Pot pot liner with a bit of oil. Make it real light, you don&#039;t want pools of grease.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
18. Gather up all the edges of the dough tightly underneath to form a nice taut dough ball. Pinch all the seams at the bottom to hide them. Top side should look nice and smooth. Lay the pinch side down in the greasy Instant Pot liner. Cover the top in saran wrap&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
19. Leave it in the Instant Pot on the Yogurt setting (valve in release position) for 40 minutes.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
20. Lightly flour the top of the risen dough ball (tripled in size). Ream your floured finger into the center and check to make sure the hole stays there. Good to go if it does.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
21. Flip out the dough onto a lightly floured surface (smooth side down). Press out all the air with your fingertips. Gather up the edges toward the center and make another dough ball with the smooth side down. Wrap the saran wrap onto the kitchen scale.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
22. Cut the dough in half. Weigh both halves and make sure they&#039;re equal enough&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
23. Make each half into a taut ball by gathering the edges down and tucking/pinching underneath the smooth side. Do that thing where you pull the dough ball gently towards you to get a nice tall ball with a taut smooth side out. Get some paper towels damp, leave the balls on the counter, and cover &#039;em up for 15 min with the wet paper towels.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
24. Lube up the shokupan pan with butter. Include the lid if you&#039;re making a closed loaf.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
25. Do this to each dough ball at a time: lightly sprinkle top with flour, press rolling pin in the center, then roll up and away, then down and towards you. Flip over, turn 90 degrees, pull out the corners to make a rectangle, and roll again. Roll out corners. Now you have a long vertical rectangle.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
26. Fold into 3rds (left and right), make sure it&#039;s even. Press the free edges when you fold them in. Take the corners of the edge farthest away from you and fold them in to make an arrow. Roll towards you and maintain a little tension to make a little dough snail. Pinch the free edge closed. Set the first one under the paper towel while you make the second.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
27. Lay the two snails in the buttered shokupan pan with the swirls each pointing towards the center (snails with 2 butts facing each other)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
28. Cover the top of the pan with saran wrap. Put it back in the Instant Pot set to Yogurt for 55 minutes.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
29. Meanwhile, preheat oven to 425 degrees, with the rack set to the second-to-last on the bottom.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
30. Check the height of the dough balls. It should be 80% of the mold. Slap the lid on.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
31. Lower oven temp to 415. Bake for 27 minutes.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
32. When it comes out of the oven, immediately drop the closed baking pan twice on the stove top to release water vapor. Take the lid off and shake the loaf onto a wire rack to let cool completely.&lt;/div&gt;</summary>
		<author><name>Ubernerd</name></author>
	</entry>
	<entry>
		<id>https://wiki.utter-chaos.net/ucwiki/index.php?title=Shokupan,_bitches!&amp;diff=16764</id>
		<title>Shokupan, bitches!</title>
		<link rel="alternate" type="text/html" href="https://wiki.utter-chaos.net/ucwiki/index.php?title=Shokupan,_bitches!&amp;diff=16764"/>
		<updated>2023-11-08T01:28:37Z</updated>

		<summary type="html">&lt;p&gt;Ubernerd: &lt;/p&gt;
&lt;hr /&gt;
&lt;div&gt;That trip to Japan with Masumi ruined me on so many foods. One of them is shokupan. So I&#039;ve been on a QUEST to make my own, starting with buying my own Ideal Loaf Pan from Asai Shoten (I can&#039;t believe how much smaller it is in real life than I imagined. At the rate I eat shokupan, I&#039;m going to need to make bread every other damn day. But at least it fits in my Instant Pot for proofing!). Based on the [https://www.justonecookbook.com/japanese-milk-bread-shokupan/#h-how-to-slice-japanese-milk-bread Just One Cookbook] recipe, which is geared for successful shokupan making in SF kitchen conditions, but had too many pictures and unsolicited advice.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
&#039;&#039;&#039;Ingredients (for the 1 kin Ideal Loaf pan from Asai Shoten):&#039;&#039;&#039;&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
167g water at 104 deg (use electric kettle)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
14g sugar&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
2.25g salt&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
7g honey&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
4.7g RapidRise yeast or similar&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
235g bread flour (use King Arthur)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
14g Canadian skim milk powder&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
17g unsalted butter (that&#039;s a teeny bit over 1 tbsp) + 10g (that&#039;s a teeny bit under 1 tbsp) more for greasing the bread pan&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
a few drops of oil&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
&#039;&#039;&#039;Special Tools:&#039;&#039;&#039;&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
- Ideal Loaf Pan (1 kin) from Asai Shoten&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
- Instant Pot with Yogurt setting&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
- Electric Kettle with 104 deg setting on it&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
- Crack scale&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
- Rolling pin&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
- Kitchenaid Classic mixer (instructions and mixing times specific to this mixer)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
- Pastry brush (optional, if you don&#039;t wanna get your fingers all greasy)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
- 1 medium bowl&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
- Whatever weighing receptacle you want to use (I used a tiny pyrex beaker)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
- Rubber spatula&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
- Instant read thermometer&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
God that&#039;s so much shit that I&#039;ve accumulated in my kitchen over the years.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
1. In the medium bowl, weight out and measure the sugar and salt. Weigh the honey in whatever measuring receptacle can hold that and the water.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
2. Heat up the water in the kettle to 104 degrees. Pat yourself on the back for having bought a kettle that does this. Weigh out the warm water into the vessel with the honey and swirl to mix it into honey water.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
3. Sprinkle your yeast on top of the warm water. Wait around a few minutes to make sure it gets that yeasty smell to know it&#039;s active. Pour it all into the medium bowl with the sugar and salt, and stir around. Make sure you scrape in all the yeasty bits from the measuring container. Put the bowl with the liquid in the microwave and let it hang out there for 10 minutes.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
4. Chop up the unsalted butter into little butter bits. Weigh out the flour and milk powder into the Kitchenaid mixing bowl. Stir around to combine it, then dig a well in the center.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
5. Make sure that yeasty water is foamy and alive. If it isn&#039;t, wait 5 more min. If it&#039;s not foamy by then, it&#039;s dead. Chuck it and try with better yeast. If it&#039;s good to go, scrape it all into the center well of the flour in the Kitchenaid bowl. Mix it up by hand with the spatula until it&#039;s mixed together.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
6. Knead on speed 2 for 2 minutes using the dough hook&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
7. Knead on speed 4 for 4 minutes&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
8. Add the butter bits and knead on speed 2 for 2 minutes (or until the butter is absorbed)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
9. Knead on speed 4 for 4 minutes&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
10. Knead on speed 6 for 4.5 minutes. Be careful to hold onto your stand mixer to not let it shake itself off the table.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
11. Stop and do a windowpane check. The dough should all come of in one piece from the bottom of the bowl easily. Rip off a golf ball sized amount of dough and pull until light goes through without tearing the dough. If it&#039;s good to go, awesome. If not knead for 1 more minute or so and try again. Don&#039;t over-knead it (dough will be floppy and flaccid instead of pulling up in one piece from the bottom of the bowl)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
12. Stick an instant read thermometer into the bulk of the dough and make sure it is between 79 and 82 degrees. It should be if you follow this recipe exactly.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
13. Scrape all the dough onto a lightly floured surface. The &amp;quot;smooth&amp;quot; side is now down on the table. Keep track of it.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
14. Pick up the dough, flip it over in your hand, and then smack it down onto the counter, smooth side down. Fold the dough in half, by bringing the top edge down to meet the bottom&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
15. Smack the dough on the counter smooth side down (it should be all of it). Fold in half, left to right.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
16. Repeat steps 14 and 15 alternatingly for a total of 5 smack-fold combos (smack, fold vertical, smack, fold horizontal, smack, fold vertical)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
17. Lube up your Instant Pot pot liner with a bit of oil. Make it real light, you don&#039;t want pools of grease.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
18. Gather up all the edges of the dough tightly underneath to form a nice taut dough ball. Pinch all the seams at the bottom to hide them. Top side should look nice and smooth. Lay the pinch side down in the greasy Instant Pot liner. Cover the top in saran wrap&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
19. Leave it in the Instant Pot on the Yogurt setting (valve in release position) for 40 minutes.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
20. Lightly flour the top of the risen dough ball (tripled in size). Ream your floured finger into the center and check to make sure the hole stays there. Good to go if it does.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
21. Flip out the dough onto a lightly floured surface (smooth side down). Press out all the air with your fingertips. Gather up the edges toward the center and make another dough ball with the smooth side down. Wrap the saran wrap onto the kitchen scale.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
22. Cut the dough in half. Weigh both halves and make sure they&#039;re equal enough&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
23. Make each half into a taut ball by gathering the edges down and tucking/pinching underneath the smooth side. Do that thing where you pull the dough ball gently towards you to get a nice tall ball with a taut smooth side out. Get some paper towels damp, leave the balls on the counter, and cover &#039;em up for 15 min with the wet paper towels.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
24. Lube up the shokupan pan with butter. Include the lid if you&#039;re making a closed loaf.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
25. Do this to each dough ball at a time: lightly sprinkle top with flour, press rolling pin in the center, then roll up and away, then down and towards you. Flip over, turn 90 degrees, pull out the corners to make a rectangle, and roll again. Roll out corners. Now you have a long vertical rectangle.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
26. Fold into 3rds (left and right), make sure it&#039;s even. Press the free edges when you fold them in. Take the corners of the edge farthest away from you and fold them in to make an arrow. Roll towards you and maintain a little tension to make a little dough snail. Pinch the free edge closed. Set the first one under the paper towel while you make the second.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
27. Lay the two snails in the buttered shokupan pan with the swirls each pointing towards the center (snails with 2 butts facing each other)&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
28. Cover the top of the pan with saran wrap. Put it back in the Instant Pot set to Yogurt for 55 minutes.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
29. Meanwhile, preheat oven to 425 degrees, with the rack set to the second-to-last on the bottom.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
30. Check the height of the dough balls. It should be 80% of the mold. Slap the lid on.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
31. Lower oven temp to 415. Bake for 27 minutes.&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
32. When it comes out of the oven, immediately drop the closed baking pan twice on the stove top to release water vapor. Take the lid off and shake the loaf onto a wire rack to let cool completely.&lt;/div&gt;</summary>
		<author><name>Ubernerd</name></author>
	</entry>
</feed>