Definitive Brisket Recipe - Revision history

Ubernerd at 03:55, 28 November 2025

2025-11-28T03:55:39Z

← Older revision		Revision as of 03:55, 28 November 2025
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	Note: most of the above ingredients have no real measurement because this is an authentic little old lady recipe. "Put in the amount you would like to taste" is the guideline here. Prepare for this to be a 2 day process because you're twice-baking it.		Note: most of the above ingredients have no real measurement because this is an authentic little old lady recipe. "Put in the amount you would like to taste" is the guideline here. Prepare for this to be a 2 day process because you're twice-baking it. ALSO: do NOT use a disposable tinfoil pan - it will not retain enough heat at 325 to cook your meat properly. A Le Creuset or enamel cooking container with a lid is the ideal tool here. If you fuck it up and it's tough after like 3 or 4 hours in the oven, 30 minutes in the Instant Pot to finish on the second day will unfuck your unfortunate situation (per Thanksgiving 2025)

	1. Preheat your oven to 325		1. Preheat your oven to 325

Ubernerd at 23:44, 29 December 2024

2024-12-29T23:44:00Z

← Older revision		Revision as of 23:44, 29 December 2024
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	I endured dating that useless shitbag Aaron for nearly 7 years in order to get this recipe.		I endured dating that useless shitbag Aaron for nearly 7 years in order to get this recipe.
	Okay, well not exactly, but I did come out of that relationship with one good thing, and it was this little old Jewish lady brisket recipe, which is so good it's almost made it worth putting up with ~~Aaron's fucktard~~ ass for that long. Almost.		Okay, well not exactly, but I did come out of that relationship with one good thing, and it was this little old Jewish lady brisket recipe, which is so good it's almost made it worth putting up with that ass-barnacle for that long. Almost.

	Ingredients:		Ingredients:
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	1lb of brisket per person you're serving (marbled 'n fatty on top is what you want. Ask for a "point cut" if your butcher is awesome)		1lb of brisket per person you're serving (marbled 'n fatty on top is what you want. Ask for a "point cut" if your butcher is awesome)

	~2 packages of Lipton onion soup mix (once you go over like 5 lbs, maybe add another)		~2 packages of Lipton onion soup mix (once you go over like 6 lbs, maybe add another)

	Worcestershire sauce		Worcestershire sauce
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	~~Notice that there aren't solid amounts in~~ this recipe~~, and that's how~~ you ~~know it's good~~. Prepare for this to be a 2 day process because you're twice-baking it.		Note: most of the above ingredients have no real measurement because this is an authentic little old lady recipe. "Put in the amount you would like to taste" is the guideline here. Prepare for this to be a 2 day process because you're twice-baking it.

	1. Preheat your oven to 325		1. Preheat your oven to 325
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	3. Boil some water and mix up 1 cup of water to 1 package of onion soup mix. Pour it in the pan.		3. Boil some water and mix up 1 cup of water to 1 package of onion soup mix. Pour it in the pan.

	4. Rub the dry mustard powder on top of the brisket (all over dat fat). Put dat meat in the pan		4. Rub the dry mustard powder on top of the brisket (all over dat fat). Put dat meat in the pan. Make sure it's unfolded so it's flat, and about half-submerged in the onion soup broth.

	5. Pour worcestershire sauce all over the top (don't be stingy)		5. Pour worcestershire sauce all over the top (don't be stingy)
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	10. Cover the pan with the lid, or do a real fine job making a Faraday cage for your meat with that tinfoil hat.		10. Cover the pan with the lid, or do a real fine job making a Faraday cage for your meat with that tinfoil hat.

	11. Bake in the oven.~~.. for about 2 hours. Here's where the instructions get real vague, but basically, "add more time depending on how cooked it is or how delicious it smells."~~ Rough guidance, about 2 hours if you're making 3-4lbs of brisket. You'll want that thing cooked through, even if it isn't butter-soft yet.		11. Bake in the oven. Rough guidance: about 2 hours if you're making up to 4lbs of brisket in a pan. For 6lbs brisket done in one pan (which is about how much can reasonably fit into 1 pan that fits in a domestic oven), we needed almost 3 hours. You'll want that thing cooked through, even if it isn't butter-soft yet.
			* Original recipe says: "Cook for 2 hours. Add more time depending on how cooked it is or how delicious it smells." *

	12. Cool completely and then transfer it to the fridge overnight.		12. Cool completely and then transfer it to the fridge overnight.

	13. ~~Slice~~ against the grain ~1/4" to 1/2" slices.		13. Next day: Preheat the oven to 325 again. Pull the meat from the fridge and slice against the grain ~1/4" to 1/2" slices.

	14. Skim some but not all of the fatburgs from the pan full of broth/gravy. I tried leaving it all in once, and it did make the sauce a bit greasy. I think if you're using a less fatty cut from some hoity toity place like Whole Foods you can leave all the fatburgs in there, but I like getting greasy point cut brisket from McKinnon's.		14. Skim some but not all of the fatburgs from the pan full of broth/gravy. I tried leaving it all in once, and it did make the sauce a bit greasy. I think if you're using a less fatty cut from some hoity toity place like Whole Foods you can leave all the fatburgs in there, but I like getting greasy point cut brisket from McKinnon's.
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	15. Carefully "reconstruct" the brisket in the pan, slice by slice, pouring gravy between each slice as you smush them back together.		15. Carefully "reconstruct" the brisket in the pan, slice by slice, pouring gravy between each slice as you smush them back together.

	16. Put it back in the oven at 325 again until you decide it's done. The meat should be like "butter~~," so use your judgment from when you sliced up the meat how much longer that'll take~~. I'~~d start with 30 min to an hour before checking.~~		16. Put it back in the oven at 325 again for 30 min. Use a fork or tongs to check the consistency of the meat: it should be almost falling apart when lifted. If it isn't at that level of tender, add 30min and check again.
			* Original recipe says: "until you decide it's done. The meat should be 'like butter.'" *

Ubernerd: Created page with "I endured dating that useless shitbag Aaron for nearly 7 years in order to get this recipe. Okay, well not exactly, but I did come out of that relationship with one good t..."

2024-12-23T17:08:34Z

Created page with "I endured dating that useless shitbag Aaron for nearly 7 years in order to get this recipe. Okay, well not exactly, but I *did* come out of that relationship with *one* good t..."

New page

I endured dating that useless shitbag Aaron for nearly 7 years in order to get this recipe.
Okay, well not exactly, but I *did* come out of that relationship with *one* good thing, and it was this little old Jewish lady brisket recipe, which is so good it's *almost* made it worth putting up with Aaron's fucktard ass for that long. Almost.

Ingredients:

1lb of brisket per person you're serving (marbled 'n fatty on top is what you want. Ask for a "point cut" if your butcher is awesome)

~2 packages of Lipton onion soup mix (once you go over like 5 lbs, maybe add another)

Worcestershire sauce

Dry mustard powder

Thin sliced onions

Carrots, cut into coins

red wine

ketchup (a bunch)

Notice that there aren't solid amounts in this recipe, and that's how you know it's good. Prepare for this to be a 2 day process because you're twice-baking it.

1. Preheat your oven to 325

2. Get a deep roasting pan with a lid, or prepare your finest tinfoil hat folding skills.

3. Boil some water and mix up 1 cup of water to 1 package of onion soup mix. Pour it in the pan.

4. Rub the dry mustard powder on top of the brisket (all over dat fat). Put dat meat in the pan

5. Pour worcestershire sauce all over the top (don't be stingy)

6. Splash some red wine all over the top of the meat and into the broth

7. Cover the brisket with a nice blanket layer of sliced onions all over the top. Toss more sliced onions in the broth.

8. Cover that blanket with a blanket of carrot coins. Toss more carrot coins in the broth

9. Slather a generous amount of ketchup all over the mound of carrots, onions, and meat in the pan.

10. Cover the pan with the lid, or do a real fine job making a Faraday cage for your meat with that tinfoil hat.

11. Bake in the oven... for about 2 hours. Here's where the instructions get real vague, but basically, "add more time depending on how cooked it is or how delicious it smells." Rough guidance, about 2 hours if you're making 3-4lbs of brisket. You'll want that thing cooked through, even if it isn't butter-soft yet.

12. Cool completely and then transfer it to the fridge overnight.

13. Slice against the grain ~1/4" to 1/2" slices.

14. Skim *some* but not all of the fatburgs from the pan full of broth/gravy. I tried leaving it all in once, and it did make the sauce a bit greasy. I think if you're using a less fatty cut from some hoity toity place like Whole Foods you can leave all the fatburgs in there, but I like getting greasy point cut brisket from McKinnon's.

15. Carefully "reconstruct" the brisket in the pan, slice by slice, pouring gravy between each slice as you smush them back together.

16. Put it back in the oven at 325 again until you decide it's done. The meat should be like "butter," so use your judgment from when you sliced up the meat how much longer that'll take. I'd start with 30 min to an hour before checking.

Definitive Brisket Recipe - Revision history

Ubernerd at 03:55, 28 November 2025

Ubernerd at 23:44, 29 December 2024

Ubernerd: Created page with "I endured dating that useless shitbag Aaron for nearly 7 years in order to get this recipe. Okay, well not exactly, but I *did* come out of that relationship with *one* good t..."

Ubernerd: Created page with "I endured dating that useless shitbag Aaron for nearly 7 years in order to get this recipe. Okay, well not exactly, but I did come out of that relationship with one good t..."