Difference between revisions of "Hub Quotes"

Revision as of 21:46, 17 September 2005

• “As well, the Illthids have proven their treachery yet again.” - Drow High Priestess. “Takes one to know one.” - Chadius. “Wait, let me find my surprised face.” - Chmrr. Chadius makes shocked face.

• “Are they going to tell us something we don’t know? I’m getting bored.” Gwen, quietly to Elly during an important meeting.

• “Since you seem to be one of the more effective groups in getting things done.” - Drow High Priestess. “Was that a compliment?” - Gwen, whispering again. “I don’t know.” - Elly.

• “Then we will not detain you any longer.” - Shathûr. “Get the fuck out.” - Chadius.

• “The priestess doesn’t want to sully her tongue by speaking your language, so I will speak.” - Ryurn. “Well, I can think of better ways to sully my tongue than talking. Oops! Inside voice!” -Gwen.

• “Do we have any vials of holy water lying around?” - Aurora. “Nope. I should make some.” - Chmrr. “Do you have a priest and some condoms?” - Ardonite.

• “Kill it! Kill it Cub! Kill it! It gets eaten by a giant cat!” - Nybble. “Cub inflicts 32 points of damage.” - Ratri.

• “Gonna drag him off the road, so no one finds him out of the blue. Y’know ‘doot-doot-doot-doo-doo, Holy Shnoinkus!’” -Ratri.

• “Hang on, I need to go answer my sword” - Asterix.

• “He wasn’t really speaking very straight.” - Asterix. “Was this after the glowy thing?” - Gwen. “Yes.” - Asterix. “Ah, well, that may be it then. Glowing takes a lot out of you.” - Gwen.

• "No no no, it's fuck your mother, upside down." - Nachta teaching Elly how to swear in Drow. "Ohhh, in Elven we say fuck your mother..." - Elly teaching Elven back.

• "SOMEBODY HAS THIS PROBLEM WITH SHOVING A SWORD THROUGH NIGEL'S BODY!" - Ratri, yelling at Nybble, who was hiding behind a book.

• "I know what I want to cast. Wish." - Aurora. "Oh, imagine if that went wrong." - Ratri. "No, I mean, she'd age 5 years. 13 to 18 in one shot." - Aurora. "Heh. She would have no idea how to deal with the hormones." - Ratri. "'Poof. Somebody do me now!'" - Zahnnie. "Heh. 'Did it succeed? Yeah? Wow, I wish I had a boyfriend right now. Poof. Nice. C'mere honey.' 'Congratulations, you're now an ... archmage...' 'Yeah, whatever. Do I get my own room? Good. Let's go.'" - Aurora.

• "Does Meteor Swarm count as a Dragon Slave?" - Nybble.

• "I will eat your nuts." - Gwen.

• "Is it evil?" - Nybble. "Yes." - Morrigu. "Ok, I'm going to ... Attack The Darkness!" - Nybble. The room falls over laughing. "You know that's the entire reason for this combat." - Aurora. "Too bad Elly isn't here to cast Magic Missile!" - Ratri.

• "Hey, does anyone want a Mountain Dew? Or some Cheetos?" - Zahnnie. "I don't think we have any." - Nybble. "Well, there's only one way to find out, and that's to cast Locate Cheetos. It locates any cheetos in a 5 mile radius." - Zahnnie.

• "Wait, that doesn't say Hallmark... that says Hellmark!" - Nybble.

• "Yeah, he said Hi to the Mistress." - Nachta. "Does that mean me?" Elly. "Well, it's not my Mom, so it must be you." - Nachta.

• (On the topic of Elly's want for a boyfriend) "So, there are no boy bands in the Hub, right?" -Aurora.

• "Suddenly, the mirror goes black." - Morrigu. "Yeah, he put it back into his pants." - Aurora. "Suddenly, you see this enormous black penis!" - Zahnnie. "Heh. You see some curly white hair." - Morrigu.

• It's raining
  It's pouring
  The ladies
  Are warring
  Gods are Dead
  I'm in bed
  We'll all be back in mourning.
  -Pussich

• "Jesus, Gwen, you're cutting glass over there." - Nachta.

• "Her mom tried to get her to wear the skimpy leather outfits..." - Zahnnie, about Nachta. "Haha, but she brought her normal clothes with her and changed once she left the house!" - Aurora. "Just like a teenager..." - Zahnnie. "Young lady, you are not leaving this house dressed like that! I can't even see your cleavage!" - Aurora. "But moooooooom!" - Zahnnie.

• "Iii'm supppposeed to beee exxxxotherrrmiiic." - Shathûr. "Hell has frozen over." - Ratri.

• "Hi. I failed my save vs. spell." - Ratri answering the phone.

• "I don't like being unconcious. I can't say rude things." - Zahnnie.

• "I'm gonna go check out the dragonsh. 'Caush they're waiting for ush." - Shathûr. "You're not quite that drunk." - Morrigu. "It's more fun this way." - Chmrr.

• "Aaaaaaah!" - Stylus. "It was gonna eat us!" - Nachta, as they're fleeing from dragonfear. "We run back to the house. I bust into the basement, sit in the corner, and cast darkness on myself." - Zahnnie.

• "Bill is not dodging. Bill is jumping. Oh yeah! Over the cart!" - Morrigu. "Asterix is hanging on for dear life." - Aurora. "I make a ride check. Yes!" - Nybble.

• "You get to the temple and Bill comes to a quick stop, stands tall and looks noble." - Morrigu. "Let's see if I hold on." <rolls> "Nope. I faceplant in the mud." - Nybble.

• "You hear an omniprescent voice." - Morrigu. "Braaaaap." - Zahnnie.

• "Physics stops working as you get towards the donut." - Aurora. "It's a donut of doom." - Chadius

• "Maybe squidface is a girl." - Nachta. "I mean, honestly, under all those tentacles, how would you tell?" - Gwen.

• "So, who made the perception check. Gwen? Is Gwen the only one??" - Morrigu. "Revenge is sweet!" - Ratri

• "G. I. Drooooooow." - Chadius. "The new underdark hero!" - Zahnnie, Nybble in synch. "They fight Squidface Commander." - Chadius.

• "The god of holding shit together has ADD." - Ratri.

• "So just roll really low, right?" - Aurora. "Yeah." - Morrigu. Aurora rolls. "How 'bout a 1?" - Aurora.

• "She doesn't care about gods. They're not that powerful." - Elly

• "Will strip for AC." - Chmrr.

• "My usual state is uncertain." - Nybble. "You have Heisenburg's HP." - Rykilde.

• "You've got a broken foot and a broken hand." - Morrigu. "Ok." - Chadius. "You're still fighting, aren't you?" - Aurora. "Oh, yeah. He might stop when he has to resort to headbutts." - Chadius.

• "I can still dodge on one foot, bitch. Pirouette!" - Chadius.

• "You are currently pinned." - Morrigu. "Luckily I have this stone shape to unpin me." - Chmrr.

• "Did Pussich roll initiative? I want to know when he shits himself." - Ratri

• "It's like 'Oh! Now I know what my victims feel like." - Aurora. "I have officially ass-raped the tentacle-monster." - Ratri.

• "Someone restrain Gwen. She has too much of a mommying instinct and is going to cuddle the god." - Ratri. "It's ok. The squid is gone." - Gwen to Pussich, hugging him.

• "My god will send you the bill." - Chmrr.

• "My ass hurts." - Chmrr.

• "That's a really big parasite. Where does it go? No, I don't want to know!" - Gwen.

• "Damn Squid Commander." - Chadius. "Squid-lalalalalalalala!" - Zahnnie.

• "Look how big my paladin is." - Ratri. "I see the mini doesn't apply to everything." - Aurora. "Zip. Bump bump bump ... bump ... bump." - Zahnnie.

• "I'm asking after the health of my mistress." - Nachta. "Wait, Nachta has a mistress?" - Stylus.

• "What do you want?" - Pussich. "Do I have to roll a wis check?" - Ratri. "Yes." - Morrigu. "Is Pussich cute?" - Ratri. "Yes." - Morrigu. "I rolled an 18." - Ratri. "So what do you want?" - Pussich. "Dinner and a movie?" - Gwen. "With who?" - Pussich, blushing. "Uhm, you?" - Gwen. Pussich looks at Asterix. "I'll get her home by midnight."

• "Illithid Nuke Bomb. Kills all Illithid in a 50 mile radius." - Chadius

• "I'd prefer that this message not go through two deities. 'Uhm, excuse me, could you pass this message on to Pussich's paladin? And while you're there, can you check if I left the kettle on?'" - Chmrr

• "That would change history. Suddenly Nachta's a priestess, and Shathûr is an angel." - Morrigu. "And I'm a bard!" - Nybble.

• "He walks off, still panting." - Morrigu. "You should give him a tip." - Nybble. "You might want to get more exercise. Only 30 minutes a day!" - Gwen. "That's not what I meant by a tip!" - Nybble.

• "Is this all in Drow?" - Ratri. "Yes." - Zahnnie. "I hear brahshajradgrada Krie Jafah! Drow Krie!" - Ratri.

• "Obviously, we just need to give them a bunch of laxatives so then they can't be all constipated and power up." - Ratri.

• "Nachta has drow bling!" - Zahnnie "I notice your drow bling." - Chmrr

• "Please keep your hands and arms inside the dragon at all times." - Ratri.

• "In the event of a water landing, we'll find out if dragons float." - Kit.

• "Time flies like an arrow, dragon flies like wind." - Ratri.

• Stylus and Nachta from the back of Flora, the silver dragon: "Whoooooooo!"

• "What did we have for the in-flight meal, Morrigu" - Zahnnie. "High velocity wind." - Morrigu.

• "Demons, dragons, planar, religion, your mom, healing ..." Chmrr. "Knowledge (your mom)." - Ratri.

• "Is there an equivalent of blind-fighting in 2nd Ed?" - Chadius. "Yeah, it's a feat." - Ratri. We all laugh. "No, it's not a.. it's a ... it's a skill... It's a proficiency, TWO SLOTS!" - Ratri.

• "We don't have stone-to-flesh, do we?" Aurora. "No, but I can stone shape you into rude forms." - Chmrr. "Thank you for the idea!" - Kit. "No! Bad!" - Everyone.

• "Friend?" Dwarf answering the door. "We tried that. That wasn't the password. Don't you read the books?" - Gwen.

• "Wait, I'm the least offensive guy here." - Chadius. "Yeah, the black guy." - Ratri. "Bow-rorw-rorw-rorw-rorw." - Zahnnie.

• "They're not raising anything weird in their city, are they?" - Ratri. "Yes, there's this giant Dwarf..." - Nybble. "Brain. Brain with a beard." - Aurora. "In a glass of beer." - Zahnnie.

• "Can he roll initiative? 'Cause I want to know when the dwarf shits himself." - Ratri.

• "I'll teach you drow drinking songs. All drow drinking songs sound like shouting at the top of your lungs." - Zahnnie. "In the middle of a dwarf city!" - Kit

• "If you have an amulet of sustenance, you still get hungry, you just don't have to eat. It's like ... " - Morrigu. "HP/MP restored, but you're still hungry?" - Kit.

• "It's not like regular coffee. It's much stronger and more bitter." - Morrigu. "Stronger and more bitter. Dwarven. Right." - Chmrr, "It has higher con?" - Zahnnie.

• "Why is it that we all think of Dr. Zoidberg whenever we talk about Illithids?" - Nybble. "I thought of Cthulu." - Ratri.

• "So is this Gold 23 or Gold 27?" - Stylus. "Gold 13." - Dwarf, looking at Stylus funny. "I'm a noob!" - Stylus. "Pwned!" - Zahnnie.

• "She'll take you anywhere." - Morrigu, on the female silver dragon and Shathûr. "And then Voltikar will KILL YOU." - Aurora. "Kill joo dead." - Chadius.

• "I said it was a fighting chain? I was wrong. It's a suit of chainmail." - Morrigu. "It's a fighting suit of chainmail! It's like a dancing sword, but armor. It fights for you." - Chmrr.

• "Elly, what does" (insert drow drinking song) "mean?" - Xellia "It means leave me alone, I have a headache." - Elly, hung over.

• "Dear Scott: How are you? I am fine." - Zahnnie and Aurora in unison. "And I miss you." - Ratri.

• "They're the ... cause of ... what we've become." - Nachta. "Tonight the ... part of ... Nachta ... will be played by ... William Shatner." - Ratri.

• "So you like drunk chicks?!" - Nachta "I... uh... uh... BLARRGGH!" *thrashes on the ground* - Stylus

• "Dear Gwen: I am fine too! I got you this knife. I hope you like it! And I miss you." - Scott via Zahnnie and Aurora

• "Gwen is the moneybags of the party now." - Ratri. "Heh. Moneybags?" - Aurora, cupping her chest.

• "And old rat face." - Stylus. "Peter." - Morrigu. "No! Bad! Wrong! Hot!" - Aurora.

• "It's not that healthy to drink all the time." - Stylus. "It's not all the time. It's only at night." - Elisa. "It's not all that healthy to drink half the time, on a minute by minute basis." - Ratri.

• "I can't use a GUAL card anyway, I'm level nine. I've almost won! Except... What level is Gwen?" - Aurora. "Ten." - Ratri. "Damn, she won! Gwen won the Hub!" - Aurora. "But now we're playing to level 20." - Ratri.

• "It's easy to move, you know ..." - Morrigu. "Squirrels?" - Nybble.

• "It will grab people with its tentacles and eat their brains." - Morrigu. "I guess I'd better go first then!" - Nybble. "So it'll starve!" - Aurora and Ratri.

• "Asterix, you're bait." - Morrigu. "I'm always bait!" - Asterix. "He's shiny!" - Aurora. "We're going to chop you up and throw you in the water ... oh, wait." - Morrigu. "Hey look at me, I'm a shiny paladin with a holy sword and I'm going to hit you. Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha." - Asterix.

• "The Priestess will supply the holy water." - Morrigu. "She's going to be peeing in a jar for months." - Ratri.

• "So what are you two doing?" - Morrigu. "How about Jarrett's mom?" - Ratri, completely out of context.

• "It's so weird to see someone named Gwendolyn wearing clothes." - Aurora.

• "Just in case you're interested in any of them in particular." - Morrigu. "I'm interested in all of them in particular." - Gwen.

• "I'm an elf. Wooo." Chadius in a singsong voice.

• "They follow the goddess of mining." - Morrigu. "Mine!" - Nybble.

• "He's not called Drizzle-my-nizzle, but he is wielding double scimitars." - Morrigu. "Noooooo!" - Aurora. "Yeah, Drizzle! I've read all your books!" - Chadius.

• "When am I supposed to attack the big thing?" - Asterix. "Just stay here until we tell you." - Military commanders.

• "It has to be some kid who says 'I'm gonna be Asterix's squire.' And we say 'Ok, help us find him.'" - Ratri on the topic of a replacement character for Nybble while Asterix is dead. "And it has to be something ridiculous like a giant Brownie or something." Many giggles ensue. Chadius makes to eat a giant brownie. "No. Bad! Wrong!" - Morrigu. "Mmm, forbidden brownie. Sacreligious." - Chadius.

• "They're using their archmage for the ceremony??" - Aurora. "She's ready to step aside for the next archmage." - Morrigu "C'mon, they're elves. 'Oh no, a mage died.' Insert quarter, pull lever. Ka-chink. Hey, look, a mage!" - Chadius. "The dwarves are like, shoving their archmage aside. 'We only have two!'" - Nybble. "Yeah, the dwarf they're using for the ceremony is a fighter." - Morrigu. "Big surprise." - Chadius.

• "The Illithids say to the Drow, 'What are you doing? You're backstabbing us?' And the Drow say 'Yes, but we have some good news. We just saved a bunch of money on our car insurance.'" - Rykilde.

• "Is that big circly thing the destroyer?" - Aurora. "Blereghehgh" - Nybble, with his fingers in front of his mouth, "My mother was a saint! Get out!" - also Nybble.

• "Holy fuck. You're going to ass-rape the destroyer ... again!" - Aurora. "Yes. I'm going to take him from behind, in a +12 sort of way." - Ratri.

• "You chop off a leg." - Morrigu. "He's already on his last leg." - Ratri. "Lookit me! I'm a shiny paladin!" - Asterix.

• "He's going to be so frustrated when he discovers he can't disintegrate you. He'll be like 'Huff! Puff!'" - Aurora, as Ratri and Morrigu imitate the breathing motion and the looks of disbelief. "And Asterix will be like 'Neener! Thbbbptt!'" - Ratri.

• "He gazes at you, Asterix. Nothing happens." - Morrigu. "What? They prepped me." - Asterix.

• "Made it on the nose." - also Nybble. "Funny you should mention that. The tentacles were going for your brain." - Morrigu. "STARVING!" - Aurora. "You want what?" - Asterix. "Isn't that like failing an int check?" - Ratri. "It says con." - Morrigu. "I meant for the destroyer." - Ratri.

• "Stylus is unprotected. By the power of my god, I hit you in the head and hope something good happens." - Xellia.

• "I want to see Bill ram the destroyer with his horn." - Aurora. "What, in his ass? Rei gun!" - Ratri, bobbing her head up.

• "He got lucky." - Stylus. "And if we all survive this, he will again." - Aurora. "With me, because I'll be alive! Unless he's into that sort of thing." - Ratri. "And if your hands were metal ..." - Ardonite.

• "Who knew shopping would be such a useful skill in this game." - Ratri.

• "We'll just have to ask Cid where his mom was born." - Aurora. "What, are they like salmon?" - Kit. "I just had the mental image of a giant waterfall with dragons leaping in and out of it, trying to swim upstream." - Ratri.

• "I think we need a role playing game where you have complex hit points so that you can take imaginary damage." - Ratri.

• "This daily 'you suck' has been brought to you by Pussich." - Chadius.

• "I'd like you all to know I rolled a 3 on my D3." - Ratri. "So what's the damage on this?" - Morrigu. "76." - Ratri. "That's with the critical?" - Nybble. "Oh, shit. 152." - Ratri.

• "Pussich's all like 'That's my paladin' and Scott's like 'That's my dagger' and Pussich's like 'Well, I slept with her' and Scott's like 'I had her first.'" - Ratri, on the celestial beings watching the fight.

• "Does he have a name?" - Aurora. "No, we just call him Drow Bish." - Ratri. "Stupid stinky loser breath." - Chadius.

• "We need to come up with a cheer or something to shout at him, like 'You're a whiny little bitch and we're not afraid of you.'" - Aurora. "Destroyer? But I ..." - Ratri.