Salmon in a Puff Pastry Shell

There are occasional nights when I delude myself into thinking I have an imaginary partner with which to share a delicious homemade meal. My imaginary partner has impeccable table manners, knows how to use a fork and knife, doesn't immediately inhale everything on the plate and then leave me to finish my meal by myself because he "can't stand the sound of other people eating", compliments me on the food and wine, and can wax poetic on a number of topics including books, music, current events, and the plausibility of being able to really light a fart on fire. Then, after I open my eyes and find that no one's there, except my cat who has hopped up onto the chair and put her paw in my mashed potatoes, I realize that a dining companion like this only exists in my imagination. That's when I call one of you drunkards to come chow down and guzzle my wine.

Ingredients:

2 lbs fresh salmon fillet

1 box frozen puff pastry sheets (most of them include 2 sheets per box)

1 tbsp garlic (minced)

olive oil

salt (to taste)

pepper (to taste)

Take the frozen puff pastry out of the box and set it out on the counter to thaw for an hour. Go watch a crappy cop show or something, or productively spend one hour of your life doing something besides concentrating on poking at this frozen puff pastry dough (if you're impatient and you mess with it, you'll end up cracking it while you're trying to unfold it and you'll feel like an ass). Once your puff pastry is thawed, preheat your oven to 400 degrees. Carefully remove the salmon skin from the fillet and give the skin to your cat (or cover it in sesame seeds and pop it in the toaster oven and bake it for use at a later date in salmon skin rolls). Cut the salmon fillet into 4 portions, and lube up each portion individually with some olive oil. Sprinkle on salt and pepper onto all sides of the salmon portions, and then top off with a little bit of garlic. Unfold the puff pastry sheets and slice into rectangles just large enough to wrap around the salmon portions (if you want, you can be creative with the shapes as long as the salmon will fit inside). Place each salmon piece in the center of each puff pastry shape, wet edges with some water, and fold over to encase the salmon. Press and crimp seams down with a fork so that it all stays put when you're baking, then lay the salmon-pockets onto a baking tray and shove it in the oven for 15 to 20 minutes. Remove from the oven when puff pastry is golden brown. Plate and serve with a nice chardonnay, one for you, and one for your imaginary dinner guest.