Difference between revisions of "TheHub2MannyDivineEmotion"

Revision as of 09:40, 19 August 2014

A bear is munching on my abs right now. Meanwhile I’m choking him the life out of him with my whip wrapped around his neck. Only one of us will survive, and it’s gonna be manly as hell. As I totally dominate “Yogi” here, I may as well talk about how I arrived in a bear’s slobbering maw, ever since I left Scryfe a few days ago.

We woke up and it was finally, FINALLY time to leave Scryfe. On our way out, one lowly grunt handed us a final missive from Captain Botir. When we reach the Capital, he wanted us to contact Captain Green and ask the Council if they knew the source of the colored snow and the falling candy and the new random monster attacks and lightning from the heavens and stuff. That Captain Botir. Always thinking the long game.

But whatever. After the earthquakes, sweet angel vs demon brawl, weird divine acts, and several performances, it was time to leave and go somewhere. Anywhere. None of us had a goal besides getting out and travelling, and it felt great. We sang some songs, made a campfire in the middle of the day, told stories of how cool we were, and Maggie showed me this card trick I still don’t understand. But she kept showing how to do it, so it was only fair I helped her with some vocal training. The Devil’s Interval must be slain!

Oh yeah, then I helped Asterra lift a log, I think (honestly, Asterra was doing most of the work but didn’t want to hurt my feelings. How kind of her.) Lucia and Mara weren’t in the big helping mood, and Ember as usual was nowhere to be found. They missed out. When we got to the hostel everyone was so friendly. The guards opened the gate for us, they helped us carry our stuff inside, and everyone wanted to help us to our rooms. Asterra and I wanted to post guard (because hey, it’s boring) but they were fine and didn’t want to inconvenience us. Besides, they wanted me to play some music and tell some tales. How could I refuse to help? I couldn’t, really. And I noticed everyone was having some kind of relationship trouble, too. I started talking to them, telling them they should loosen up, have some fun, enjoy themselves and each other. The patrons asked for advice, demonstrations, and organization. I wanted to help them. A lot. So...I organized a Love-In with half of the people there.

So, a bit about myself. Many people think I’m just a living libido with a good voice. I won’t refute that, but I will point out that I do practice some restraint. For me, there are many ways to have fun with someone, and you have to know your limits and when to ask the right questions. I remember when Solain Dawnflower and I were caught in a Bacchanal. They wanted us to entertain them, one way or another. We were friends, but not that close. So I thought up a new dance move on the spot and taught the Fae how to do it. Solain was a graceful fighter but a clumsy dancer though, I’m surprised they were able to follow along.

Back to the Morning After the orgy. I couldn’t feel my legs because so many people fell asleep on top of me. Most of the ladies who woke up were embarrassed or very grateful before they left. One large, burly man kissed me and was quite ecstatic about what I did to him. Or he did to me. Details are sketchy. I saw an Elf and a Dwarf stare awkwardly in each other’s eyes before declaring “let us never speak of this again” and fleeing the room. That entire night was a bit embarrassing for many. Also, a bit dangerous. I don’t know if everyone was clean, and I may have caught a disease. I was usually more careful, but I don’t know what came over me that night.

I went downstairs to meet the party, who had just started eating breakfast. While most of the patrons either averted their gaze on me or started lovingly at me, the head cook came by and thanked Maggie for her help, giving her a pot of his special coffee normally reserved for the staff. She smelled like butter and her skin was white with flour. I also noticed every patron had a ton of cookies and other baked goods to eat. I asked Maggie if she spent all night baking cookies and she didn’t want to answer. Ha, I wish mom baked even a tenth as much.

On our way out of the hostel, Maggie’s saddle broke when she mounted her horse and she fell over. When I dismounted to help her back up, I stepped on a purse with some gems in it. I figured it was a trap, but no one had touched it in weeks. It’s so close to the hostel it was surprising no one claimed it. It also turns out that several saddles had broke in the same day and we’d have to wait for a week to repair it. Maggie decided to ride with Asterra instead.

The next day was beautiful. I saw this rainbow form over a hill for just an instant that gave me inspiration for a song to practice with my band. There was a beautiful flower bed we passed by that smelled wonderful. I also caught a ton of fish for the party. Asterra told me she also had a great time travelling. So it was weird Maggie had such a bad day. I pointed at the hill with the rainbow at it, and she was blinded by the sun when she looked. A huge bee stung her when she looked at a flower bed (the flowers set off her allergies, anyway.) And when she tried to fish, all she caught were leeches. And a boot? Really?

When we reached the next hostel, Maggie was glad to get off of Asterra’s horse. She made a beeline for the manager’s office and made some “Arrangements” to get her saddle replaced ASAP. As for Asterra, she helped save the day when a wheel broke off of a wagon and twisted some kid’s ankle. She lifted that wagon and the owners were able to pull the kid clear AND replace the wheel. One of the owners was a merchant who recognized her family crest and wanted to thank her for all the stuff her dad Asterix did for him. He offered to give Asterra a new, shiny saddle and spread the good word about her deeds.

During dinner, Maggie and Ember proposed a theory about the last few days: we were being overwhelmed by raw emotions. First was the wanderlust when we left Scryfe. Then we had a compulsive need to help everyone. Then there was a string of extreme luck (good in my case, bad in Maggie. Worse for that kid. Worst for the cook who may have cut his hand off.) She warned us to be very careful the next day and keep ourselves in check.

So of course, the next day, we left the hostel and split up, because we gotta hunt. I had to prove that I was the king of this forest, and no animal could tolerate me. Gootar always made fun of me, called me a wimp because I couldn’t capture a bunny while he could wrestle grizzly bears barehanded. Well, I found a grizzly bear and I’ll show him I could beat the bear without lifting a finger. I threw my hands up and screamed at the top of my lungs. I beat my chest like I was the king of the jungle. I gave that bear a chance to run away and know that Manny was The Man!

So of course he charges me, swats me down with his claws, then starts chewing on me. I wrap my whip around his neck and start cutting into him when I realize...I will probably die conquering the toughest mofo in the forest. If this isn’t manly, I don’t know what is.

Ember must had heard me scream, because she flies in and zaps him with a magic missile. Asterra also heard me yell, because she comes running in with a hog tied goat (huh?) and smashes the bear silly with her axe. That bear didn’t get up after that. I pick my battered self up, put one foot on the bear, and let out a primal scream. Men are conquerors. Men are hunters. Men are winners. Uh, and Fairies. And Stormicorns, too. Asterra drags the bear carcass back to camp while I carry her unconsious goat (did she wrestle it or something?) back. Maggie is already at the camp and just finished scavenging a deer she killed. Ember shows up a little later with the scorched remains of a rabbit. Man, we ate good stew that night.

Man, I hate being influenced by otherworldly forces. I gotta be in control of my emotions. At least we are finally close to the Capital. Asterra sold her still alive billy goat to a farmer on the way in for some good change. In the Capital, The Twin Tankards is glad for our patronage again. They are so impressed with the deer Maggie had prepared, they bartered it away for free inn stay for the next few days. Sweet.

As for me, I have a date with a Tanner. He’ll prepare the bearskin into a cool cloak. Normally I wouldn’t do the Barbarian look, but it’s too good to pass up. They’ll prep the bear skull for free, too. I have 4 days to kill, so I don’t mind the wait.

I also have a date with a temple. Ever since that Love-In, I’ve been worried that I caught some kind of weird disease and have been extra cautious. I enter the Temple of Kyrie, the Goddess of Sex and meet an attractive acolyte named Ahoni. Maaaan, brunette half-elves. Anyway, we start talking for a bit and she removes the disease I caught for free. In her eyes, that Love-In was just a way to spread the good word of Kyrie and I was worshipping the goddess without realizing it. So it makes sense I should spend some money, get a sweet silver idol of Kyrie and get some scriptures on her. We also continue talking and make out, because I can’t help myself. I like religious talk. And boo-

I guess I’m a follower of Kyrie now. Lucia is gonna hate me when she wakes up in the morning.

Symbol of Kyrie

No one's really sure what the Symbol of Kyrie is, although everyone has some kind of (usually phallic) interpretation. Most Humanoids see two people on their knees, kissing. Clergy of Kyrie are taught to think of it in as an abstract shape, and to understand there are all sorts of ways to see it, similar to how many ways there are to interpret sex.

The smooth contours mean it's comfortable to rest the symbol against the skin, and many will wear it as a decoration or as lingerie. It can also be used for backrubs and massages.

The Symbol of Kyrie, the goddess of sex, from the front and side.