Chadius:SJSOneShot:Summary
Overview
by Scholas
Why am I writing this again? I need to train some more. There's an awesome mountain that needs climbing, and- oh wait. I should switch.
Ah, that's better, time to scribble things. To answer my own question, Victory wants the vacation recorded for posterity. He gave me access to some of his private records, but he doesn't want to write it. Dasoup is too busy stopping Carmen Odys, Beatmasta is on tour. Aquavius is sailing the "seven" seas, claims it's for patrol. As for Ms Wand and The Slash, they disappeared soon after their return. I suppose they started- Er, no need to write rumors on an official report.
The Founding Members, tired of the save-the-world routine, decided to go to the island resort called Cancer Cross. More accurately, The Slash put his foot down and said they were going. Told Victory to stop solving crimes for one week. I would have paid to see his reaction.
The sunny small island, Cancer Cross, is 252.348 kilometers off the coast of Florida. Its seafood, especially crabs and lobsters, are very exquisite. Seafood Restaurant Master gave its restaurants a 5/5. And -er, I'm digressing again, aren't I?
Sea Trip
Victory ordered a luxury ship and hired a crew to transport the Founding Members. I wonder how he affords those. I suppose he's a millionaire of some sort. Or maybe he is using his heroic influence to ask a favor here or there. Wait, he has no influence outside of this mansion. Maybe there is a rich hero he talks to, like Money Maiden. Or is he actually, er "with" Carmen Odys?
At any rate, the Society of Doom attacked the ship. Six submarines fired torpedoes and five Doom Agents tried to board the ship. Victory called the V-boat from the underside of the ship, while V-clipping some of the agents. Beatmasta put on some music and distracted the remaining agents. Underwater, Dasoup used his freeze vision to stop a few torpedoes while Aquavius handled the rest with her speargun. She called a few blowfish to block the torpedo tubes. Most of the idiots fired anyway, and promptly exploded. Aquavius reminded me to mention the blowfish were okay. Right. Ms Wand finished off the remaining subs with her Lightning Booyah.(And Victory did not happen to destroy one of the subs with depth charges.)
One torpedo managed to hit, but it was a non-vital region of the ship. The ship could make it at a reduced speed. Victory headed to the hull for some nighttime repairs. The lone crewman confused him for The Slash's groupies, ha. I'm sure Victory knocked him out with his KO gas. Such an ego.
Before sunrise, Victory says Drazzle Mah Nazzle visited Ms Wand's room. He found a letter that read:
roses R red
violets r blu
i slayed 1000 orcs
just 4 U!!!!11!!!one!!
It seems like Drazzle tried to woo her. Again. The scorch marks and her injuries indicate she was hit by her own blast. I guess she rejected him. Again. Dasoup broke a hole in the wall and tried to save the day again, but he was a bit late.
The rest of the trip was uneventful. Except for maybe Victory's interrogation of the Doom members, but it isn't in this report. Funny that. They arrived at Cancer Cross in the morning, right after sunrise.
Resort Fun
The Founding Members reserved the suite on the top floor. Victory promptly set up a "security net" to "ensure the team's protection." Crime never sleeps, and neither does he I guess. Or maybe he's just being a pervert. Can't blame him, especially with Ms Wand and Aquavius...Oh, I'd better delete this. What is deleted can be undeleted - Victory
Beatmasta starts a party and attracts every lady in town. The cops come in to stop the party but they stay instead. Ms Wand and The Slash dressed down and laid by the pool. Quite a sight to behold, might I add. The Slash is quite protective of her. Aquavius spent her time in the beach, right below sea level.
Dasoup is busy punishing crabs on the beach when he bumps into Carmen Odys. Ms. Odys is rich, bored, and is Dasoup's archnemisis. She paid bond for her latest criminal exploit, and decided to take a vacation. Her hotel room is in the building opposite the Members' hotel! She's doing nothing wrong (she says,) but she wanted to relax. Dasoup invites her for dinner, and she agrees.
Victory catches wind of this, and decides to bug her hotel room. Victory heads back for supplies and notices Drazzle in Ms Wand's room. He kindly asked Drazzle to leave, and he did without hesitation. I'm certain he bribed him with pictures of Ms Wand in a bikini or something. I undeleted something Victory deleted by accident. I did a good thing! DASOUP
Back to Odys's hotel room. She finds the Obvious Bug and begins a thorough search. She manages to find the OMG Victory Bug and manages to look up. Victory is there, making sure she's doing nothing wrong. No really, Carmen isn't doing anything wrong. She just wants to relax. And she's coming to dinner. Victory decides to join them.
Ms Wand and The Slash get bored, and decide to buy an overpriced dress. They borrow Victory's credit card and head off. The cops are still in Beatmasta's room, so are the hot chicks and most of the island's residents.
The Crab Shak is perhaps the best Seafood restaurant in the world. It is a local Mom & Pop restaurant, and they are on a small island in the middle of nowhere. Unsung heroes of the food world. Reminds me of my mother. She makes this great hamburger & fries deal, with an awesome milkshake. When I get a girlfriend, mom had better not screw it up! My lovelife could depend on it!
Anyhoo, Carmen, Victory and Dasoup have an awkward meal. Victory checks for poisons, and Dasoup has a talk. About a crab he found jaywalking. And how he doesn't like that one time Carmen poisoned him with mayonnite. But he thinks she's pretty. Carmen asks why they are on vacation. Because The Slash wanted to. Dasoup quickly asserts that HE wanted to go on vacation, since he's the leader. And then he zooms off to fight some crime. Victory pays for the damage done to the restaurant. The scene is much too similar for Carmen, and they nod silently. Kindred spirits I suppose.
Aquavius notices something terrible: Giant crabs are invading Cancer Cross! Dasoup notices it too and fires his team call beacon. Victory tells them to ignore it, while he thinks up a plan.
Crab Fight!
Interesting Giant Crabs. They fire energy blasts and have giant claws for pinching. Last week the GM was like, "You fight 10 Dire Crabs!" And I said "Giant Crabs? What, they pinch? What's their AC?" And the GM mutters 27. Twenty-freakin-seven! Maybe if I rage and the wizard upped my strength I could Use Magic Missile, stupid. -Ms Wand
Victory figures out the perfect plan, as always. And everyone ignores it. Well, it is a fantastic plan. An involved team strike at the largest concentration to specifically demoralize the enemy army based on their movements and the moon phase. Oh well, everyone does it the hard way: on their own. Victory sets his V-boat on auto and depth charges the crabs, to stall their approach.
Dasoup is fighting by the volcano. Beatmasta has the crabs doing "Crab-fu Fighting," which must be really difficult for their leg structure. The Slash and Ms Wand, in her new dress, are fighting crabs as they emerge from the shore. Why didn't she teleport there, though? There's a good reason. It is simply too complicated for your human intellect to understand. So there. -Ms Wand
Carmen Odys is in her attack chopper, Drazzle is running along the beach, yelling HAX and the like. Aquavius is covering her side of the beach, and notices the leader. She manages to utter "Parley!" and the crab leader hears her! Why are the crabs invading? Because they want their stone crab idol back. The idol was dumped into a volcano when humans invaded the island and chased the crabs away. Dasoup cleanly lifts the idol and delivers it to the new spot.
The day is saved thanks to Aquavius
DASOUP!
Mate, they said they would praise me for all time. Maybe give me a map or two.
But I beat up crabs and saved the DAY! DASOUP
Seriously, let her take the credit. -Victory
Awww, OK. DASOUP
Aquavius saved the island, and helped the crabs regain their culture and civilization.
Returning from their vacation, the Founding Members returned to the mansion. It is said The Slash tossed his answering machine in Aquavius's aquarium. He had at least 600 calls on his machine from publishers and fans. I'm not surprised.
Ah well. It sounds like...business as usual. And nothing really world-breaking happened here, either. I heard most of the villains were on vacation, or chasing the "vulnerable" Founders. How ironic.
(And for some reason, Victory has a black rose in stasis...)
-Scholas
