Chadius: Ways to die

Just in case you're reading it wrong...

I don't ever plan to die. But if I do, it had better be worth it! Here's a listing of absofreakinglutely cool ways to die, if I need the chance.

Buried face in Aphrodite's Bosom

"For an instant I must fight the urge to bury my face in the perfumed valley between those breasts, and although I know well that this would by my last act before a violent death, I suspect at this moment that it might be worth it."

-Ilium, Page 44

OK, OK. Aphrodite, the Goddess of Love, just called you into her room. She leaned forward to give you secret orders for a mission, but that doesn't matter. She threatened earlier to rip out your entrails and wear them as garters if you disobeyed, but that doesn't matter.

Look, she's hot. I mean, hotter than hot. I mean, DUDE. Are you ever going to get this opportunity again?

Teleported into the sun by your archnemesis

From Superman: The Animated Series, episode "New Kids in Town"

Review and Screenshots (pictures 33 - 35)

You hate Superman. We all do. What's your plan? Go back in time and gank him before he becomes a superhero. Sure some of the Legion of Superheroes are following you, but you have this teleporter on hand. Time to gank - aw nuts, young Clark knows how to use it.

At least you've gotten closer to the sun than anyone else...

Polite missile launch into your apartment

Review and Screenshots (pictures 8 - 10)

Lex Luthor's missing. As a superhero you dance and cheer, as a reporter you look into the case. Just as you track down his whereabouts, you get an odd phone call.

Brainiac: Is this Clark Kent?

Clark: Speaking.

Brainiac hangs up

Clark catches a missile as it flies through his apartment

Well that was nice of him, wasn't it? No point wasting missiles if the room is empty. Brainiac is environmentally friendly.

For quite some time, this gave me nightmares. It's a running joke at this point.

Bouncing on a Princess's Bed

In The Court Jester, Giacamo (undercover as a rebel member/assassin/lover) he romances the Princess . He kisses her hands. He sweetly whispers in her ears. And then he bounces up and down on her bed. The king shows up soon after and he hides.

Now, leaping up and down off the Princess's bed? GOLD! I mean, I treated royalty like a kid, and she likes it. I got to kid up royalty and she loves it. Who cares if the King promptly tortures me. I'm a kid again!