Creamy Fake Vomit

I'm putting this recipe up here because honestly, I don't know where else to put it. Two nights ago I accidentally figured out how to make fake vomit. It started out as a cream sauce for an experimental baked fish dinner I'd made (that one didn't turn out well either, so I didn't even bother putting it up in the Ghetto Gourmet). One thing led to another, and well, suddenly I had a saucepan of fake vomit on my hands. Really, I don't know what a normal person would *do* with something like this, but for those of you who might find yourself in a niche hobby (like say, LARPing), where a good edible "vomit" substitute might be called for, this is it! It looks, smells, flows, and even TASTES like vomit (well, more like the aftertaste), and its realistic texture will be a guaranteed hit the next time you choose to delight your guests or fellow players through the judicious use of fake barf. If you happen to want a sample, right now I've got a half pint of it sitting in my fridge. I couldn't bring myself to throw it away, since it might just come in handy someday.

Ingredients:

1 tbsp olive oil

1 tbsp flour

1 tsp fresh chopped garlic

1/2 cup heavy cream

1 cup milk

1/4 tsp Garam Masala powder (incidentally, Shan brand works best)

a splash of orange juice (for that added kick)

salt (to taste... gah, I can't believe I'm saying that)

Equipment:

1 whisk

1 small saucepan

This is sad... but start out by making a roux with your olive oil, garlic, and flour (place your saucepan on the stove, heat up the oil, and fry the garlic and flour). Once the garlic becomes fragrant, pour in your heavy cream and whisk until it becomes nice and thick. Next whisk in your milk and continue to heat until it all begins to resemble the texture of vomit (be careful not to scald your milk products... er... otherwise you might end up with burned chunks, unless that's what you want, of course). Add in the Garam Masala. Stir and taste to ensure that the flavor is pleasantly nutty. Next, add the salt, and a generous splash of orange juice and taste again. Try a hearty spoonful and let the flavor sink in for a minute before drinking water to experience the full bouquet of inviting flavors this quality fake vomit has to offer.