The List of Things I Hate With Every Fiber of My Being

• Traffic
• Road construction
• PTC Windchill
• Condescending people who act as though they are somehow better than me
• Really bad timing
• People who borrow my torches for fire breathing and spit lamp oil on the torch to keep it lit when it's going out. SERIOUSLY ASSHOLES, HOLD THE FUEL IN YOUR MOUTH FOR THE 30 SECONDS IT TAKES TO GET ANOTHER ONE LIT. I had an inch of backwash and fouled fuel at the bottom of my fuel bucket that literally looked like HOT TURKEY BROTH because it had nasty oil bubbles floating all around the top - all from you turds spitting all over my beautiful handmade torches and then dipping it back in the white gas bucket. Every time you do that, you make the burn time shorter because the kevlar is soaked in backwash! Then your backwash gets on my poi!
• MS Word's auto-correction feature and auto-formatting feature. See here, you damn piece of overly user-friendly software, I SPELLED it "groincobbler" intentionally, and if I WANTED it to be on indented bullets I would have said so! You're like that overbearing girl in kindergarten that was always telling everyone exactly how to sculpt their Play-Doh. Stay out of my business, you nosy little shit!
• People who do not learn from their bad decisions and repeatedly make the same mistakes and constantly need bailing out
• Same said people who whine about how hard their life is when they could be getting by fine if they would only stop and think about how they got there in the first place
• The illogical (and often lack of), road signage on the east coast. 95-North is 3-South?! What kind of crappy cartographer made THAT one up?
• Deval Patrick's decision to continue tolls on the Mass Turnpike even once the original plan in which the tolls paid for the Pike's construction over a set number of years was up. $1.40?! Thanks to you, I have to keep a dollar, a quarter, a dime, and a nickel in change with me in my cupholder whenever I want to go anywhere west of Boston!
• The CharlieTicket system. IF IT AIN'T BROKE, WHY THE FUCK DIDJA BRING IN SOME FANCY-PANTS GERMAN-ENGINEERED ELECTRONIC TICKETING SYSTEM THAT COST A FORTUNE AND REQUIRES A ROCKET SCIENTIST ON STAFF FOR MAINTENANCE?! Let me present to you the pros and cons of tokens versus the Charlie system here: