Arschwein-Cookies

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... Or, as Jim would say, "Almond Mouth-Rape" flavored cookies. But I prefer Arschwein-flavored. This is my attempt to capture the Arschwein flavor in a non-alcoholic, tasty dessert.

Ingredients:

6 tbsp butter

3/4 cup sugar

2 tbsp milk

1 egg

1 1/2 cups flour

1 1/2 tsp baking soda

1 generous splash (~1-2 tbsp) almond extract

Honey

Tools:

Potato Masher

baking tray

large bowl


Because you'll forget if I don't say it first, preheat your oven to 350 degrees. Microwave the butter for 10 seconds to get it partially soft. Put the mushy butter in the bowl and mash it up with the sugar until it's a nice yellow paste. Pour in the milk and egg and smear it all around (making fap-fap schlick-schlick noises) until you get a runny yellow paste. Splash in your almond extract - the amount determines how well your batch of cookies deserves the Almond Mouth-Rape appellation, so be generous to deliver a truly tasty payload for the mouth-hole. Next, incorporate the flour and the baking soda and mix thoroughly until it takes on the texture of sticky, sticky cookie dough. Spoon it onto the baking tray 1 tbsp at a time. Dot the top of each cookie-wad with a bit of honey, then shove it in the oven and bake for 10 to 15 minutes until golden and delicious.