Difference between revisions of "Shit That Makes Me Really Happy"
From UtterChaos
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* Drag queens with hearts of gold: RuPaul, Nina Flowers, Ongina, Pandora Boxx, and Jujubee | * Drag queens with hearts of gold: RuPaul, Nina Flowers, Ongina, Pandora Boxx, and Jujubee | ||
* Super fruity runway techno from the 80's and 90's | * Super fruity runway techno from the 80's and 90's | ||
+ | * Being rooty tooty fresh 'n fruity, muthafuckin' <b>CLEAN</b> like Mr. Sparkles, baby! |
Latest revision as of 14:39, 26 January 2011
Nybble once asked me "MUST YOU ALWAYS BE SO NEGATIVE?!"
To that I say "well... ehhh... yes, but that doesn't mean that there aren't things out there that make me happy sometimes as well." I mean, when you're happy, no one wants to hear about it because chances are, they're probably miserable, and you're fartin' kittens and sunshine all over their parade. But since I always come across as bitching all the time, here's a list of the things that make ME fart kittens and sunshine... though I warn you, this page isn't nearly as funny as the rest of the ones I've put up so far.
- Being able to fill up a week's worth of sandwiches with sprouts for only 69 cents
- Huge, cheap, fresh avocadoes for 88 cents. And cramming them in my face-hole!
- Fresh Singapore laksa, made by my mom.
- A turkey sandwich, Gentleman's Jack, a bag of brand new art supplies, and no social or emotional obligations for the entire evening.
- Opera cake
- Being able to drive and park downtown without having to constantly fight back the urge to jump out of my car and repeatedly punch other drivers right in the box.
- Being able to see mountains from wherever I am standing on the street.
- Not driving!
- New underwear
- Inappropriate toilet humor at inopportune times
- Non-pitted countertops
- Wide, multi-lane, two-way roads
- The Dirty Mercs
- Central air
- Waking up with the sun
- Tater tots
- Nuclear red hair
- Being able to look out my window without being subjected to a million-dollar view right into my ugly-ass neighbor's master bathroom!
- Poo jokes with Carrie
- South Park, Family Guy, The Simpsons, Futurama, and that entire genre/family of adult cartoons
- Covered, off-street parking where any asshole hippie that parks you in is guaranteed to get towed
- Really amazing shoes
- Crawling into soft grey sheets in an air-conditioned room on a hot summer night, being gently wrapped in someone's arms, and falling asleep to kisses on my shoulder
- Spinning open a brand new bottle of DiSaronno
- Izzy Maxwell
- Eating fire
- Ikura with quail eggs
- Terrence & Philip
- 100% silk Chinese brocade
- Really kickass towels - you know the kind I'm talking about. The ones that dry you like a Sham-Wow while at the same time still remaining ever so soft on your dainty bits. I used one at Birka 3 years ago and was tempted to swipe every last towel that hotel had, but realized that it was going to show up on my room charge in the morning.
- Being free of obligations
- Hearing about people I don't like getting peed on
- Having Fridays off
- New club clothes
- Professional moving and packing/unpacking services
- In-unit laundry
- My "How About A Nice Big Cup of Shut the Fuck Up" mug
- Izzy Maxwell
- Champagne cocktails on a Sunday morning
- Lounging around in a giant party bathtub full of soothing cucumber and green tea-scented bubble bath while sipping Rosa Regale from a square champagne flute
- Being picked up at the airport after a long day of terrible travel, without having to ask for it
- Being greeted with a huge smile, a kiss, and a road soda after being away for 2 months
- Making fudgie-sculptures out of a Charleston Chew and unpopped kernels of corn at the Someville theater and horrifying the patrons sitting in front of me with my "Fudge Hands" comment
- Teeny cute delicious bento boxes filled with spicy tuna, avocado, and rice
- Sewing vinyl on an industrial sewing machine
- Deep-fried pickles and macaroni and cheese at Redbones
- Aioli fries at River Gods
- Cartman singing "Poker Face"
- Jabo0odyDubs
- Drifting off to sleep after a long evening of talking and giggling about nothing in particular, wrapped in the warmth of gentle arms and soft kisses on a cool New England fall night.
- Being content with everything going on in a single moment and not being distracted by thoughts of anything else
- Seeing clothing that I have made fit perfectly in a single try
- Being told that I am really comfortable to be around
- Large showers/bathtubs
- Amaretto cocktails
- Izzy Maxwell
- New arrows
- My fuel-efficient car
- Sales at Betsey Johnson where I can dresses for less than 25% of the original cost
- Drag queens with hearts of gold: RuPaul, Nina Flowers, Ongina, Pandora Boxx, and Jujubee
- Super fruity runway techno from the 80's and 90's
- Being rooty tooty fresh 'n fruity, muthafuckin' CLEAN like Mr. Sparkles, baby!