Ubernerd's All-Purpose Wish List

From UtterChaos
Revision as of 16:25, 21 February 2008 by Ubernerd (Talk | contribs)

Jump to: navigation, search

Seriously Wishful Thinking

  • More time
  • A pay raise
  • A non-shitty immune system
  • Coworkers that are Not Dumb
  • A Tom patch (fixes small known neatness bugs)
  • My own atelier and couture line

Wishful Thinking

  • Adjustable brake and clutch levers for my 2003 M620 (link coming)

Now that you've read all the impossible stuff, here's the do-able stuff

  • A Fire Mop! Hot, people. Like, the hottest janitor in the world, hot. I would totally make myself a nomex janitor suit a la Groundskeeper Willy if I had me a fire mop.
  • A professional-grade adjustable dressmaker's form encompassing sizes 6 through 10. Or, a free-standing duct-tape dressmaker's form made from my measurements.
  • Those $20 or $30 bookshelves from Target are always welcome in my house. I prefer "mahogany" or "black," though I do have one in the "maple" color sitting in my living room, as it was the only one available at the time, so I purchased it even though the color looks like ass. | Hey screw you punk! I have the maple one in my bedroom and I like it! :) -Zahnnie 08:54, 3 August 2007 (EST) | Well, maple totally clashes with that foul blue shag carpet that came installed in my bedroom, so there! :) --Ubernerd 13:12, 3 August 2007 (EST) | Lulz. Shag. -Aurora 14:24, 3 August 2007 (EST)
  • Some bar-ware, for the bar. I have a sex-ay decanter from Steph, and Tom bought me the world's fanciest bottle opener and a wine fridge. The glassware I have so far is square-themed (the shape, not the video game company), so I'd like to keep with that where possible. Currently MIA (and in vague order of preference) are: champagne flutes, shot glasses, a cocktail pitcher, snifters, a couple silly pretentious-looking cordial glasses for good measure (every self-respecting bar has them), margarita glasses.
  • A tasteful CD/DVD tower rack (to organize the explosion of video games and DVDs underneath my TV).
  • South Park: The Movie on DVD.
  • Fo' shizzle - I went to Barnes and Noble on my sanity break, and I found some books, yo:
    • Asian Faces. Okay, I'm always looking for how-to books and always too cheap to sink the money into buying them. And this one's awesome because it has makeup tips for people like me who can blindfold themselves with dental floss. Plus, I mean, Yoko Ono. Can't lose with this one!
    • Worlds of Amano. I love his work. I also like that some of his finer pieces of work are from a series entitled "The Chronicles of Arslan." Heh heh. Arslan.
    • Knitting: Lingerie Style. This book was too interesting to not read.
    • Singaporean Cookbook from the Wei-Chuan School. See above about laksa paste and how I can't get enough of it. This book has all kinds of foods that I also can't get enough of. Avocado smoothie... mmmmmmm. Actually, any book from the Wei-Chuan cooking school is pretty awesome. They have a badass dim sum book too.

When in doubt, I will always appreciate the following consumables

  • Kindzmarauli in the clay bottle. The perennial gift that's always in good taste.
  • White gas for burnination (available in 1 gallon containers at the hardware store)
  • Amaretto DiSaronno
  • Gift certificates from Bare Necessities - it'd be awful nice to have more than 2 well-fitted bras these days. Odd sizes just do not come cheap.

The Payloads of Sweet Sweet Lovin' that I've received

  • A quality ironing board. I'm not picky about size. I just want to stop using towels laid out on a hardwood floor to iron my clothes and sewing projects. - Hooray for the hippies again! Or, at least their BBB discount certificates which keep getting mis-delivered to my door.
  • A queen-sized down comforter, either in black, dark blue, or burgundy - cuz two people sharing a twin-size comforter = imminent kickage and turf wars over the blanket. - Hooray for Mom and the big sale going on at Ikea!
  • An R3 (actually, any Roomba from the 500 series would be awesome). Cockfoster, my Scooba/butler, needs a cute little french maid companion to do a dry run of all the floors before he mops, otherwise he seems to smear everything around in a most unpleasant fashion. As with Cockfoster, I just don't want to pay for a Roomba out of principle, so if someone wants to get me one, they should email me first and I'll get them the super-discount code. - Heh heh... merry christmas iRobot. Thanks for accidentally sending me 2 of everything that I orderd for xmas this year.
  • A kitchen-island prep bar-thing. Something like this. - Somehow, I turned around and left the house for a while and my shit-stacking glass table magically transformed into a kitchen island. I think I might need to just go away on vacation more often, just to see if my bedroom transforms into a design studio when I get back. (P.S. Thanks Tom for giving my kitchen the Queer Eye makeover! ... though seriously, WTF are you doing with so much hidden knowledge of interior decorating? HmmmMMMMmmmmm)
  • Bar stools to match The Bar - Meh, I changed my mind, you cretins can stand while you raid my liquor stash.
  • Black Joe Rocket "Trixie" Jacket. Medium. - I think I'm all set on riding gear for now... besides, there's other shit I need more than a new jacket.
  • Fully-working or refurbished industrial-grade old-school leather-capable Pfaff (the older the better since back in the day they still used metal gears and none of that plastic crap). - Ohhh my god. I just bought the most awesome old-school industrial grade whoop ass dispenser. It's an old old industrial Singer with the motor attached to the table and an actual belt drive train. And it does harness-grade leather *spooge*
  • A rolling pin. Really, I can live without one, but boy it sure looks ghetto when someone catches you making a pie and you're using a saran-wrapped roll of contact paper left over from your landlord's remodeling kit to press out the dough. - Tom loves me... and his cheap Italian imported goods store in Davis
  • A nice blender for smoothies and daquiris. Metal gearing, glass pitcher, ice-crushing capabilities. Either red or brushed metal finish if possible to match the other appliances, but I'm not as picky about the appearance as I am about functionality. - I bought a blender with the BBB coupon I stole from those annoying-ass hippies that live in the house next door
  • A Scooba 5800. Okay yeah, I know it's pathetic, but I just don't want to buy one. 2 years at the company and I'm still holding out for a freebie. I know I get a major discount, but I'm not buying, purely on principle. But if you want to buy me one, I'll send you the discount code, it's like 40% off retail price. - HOORAY FOR ASIAN CHEAPNESS! It only took me 2 years and 3 months to finally get a freebie! Thanks to finally being on the ball with email quick-draw, I now get to participate in a Scooba study where I can keep the toy. And it's a mega-Scooba too!
  • Holy crap, I have a bar. It's an antique Chinese carved fold-out bar made out of solid elm, and I got it for, uh, I'd say less than 1/3 of the price that the bar I had posted up here earlier.
  • For someone to take me fabric shopping so I can make this outfit for my ToV character - Oh damn, my ToV outfit is h0tt.
  • A microwave (for those times when I could use an ass-tastic meal of Hot Pockets) - Yeah, the day after thanksgiving, I broke down and bought one because I got so pissed off at the fact that the one that I had just gotten for free and cleaned the shit out of crapped out after only one successful microwaving (a wet paper towel on a plate as a test to see if the bleach smell was gone).
  • Lamps. Jesus christ, the one thing that my apartment did *not* come with was lights. There are about a million plugs (most of which are wired incorrectly and will blow up fuses, thus blacking out the whole house if you attempt to measure the current with a multi-meter), but no lights. So clearly the solution is lamps and surge protectors. - Yay for Caryatid, Rykilde, Zahnnie and all the other lovely ladies who pooled the cashz0rs for those two lovely lamps that now adorn my bar! Still need some surge protectors but I can probably steal those from work.
  • "Coffin - The Art of Vampire Hunter D" by Yoshitaka Amano - recently discovered at the Barnes and Noble in Burlington on the gifts table in a nice gift-box set! - Yay for Barnes and Noble gift certificates!
  • 5 piece dining set. The one I was thinking of buying is here, since it matches the latticework on my Bob's Busted Furniture coffee and end-table set. But basically, I'm looking for a reasonable looking dining table where I can host nice dinners. - Yay for uber-sales at JC Penney!

Ubernerd Goes Domestic!

Okay. It's about time I got my ass into gear and turned the apartment into the Gothic Palace it was meant to be. This section's my brain-dump so I can figure out what I want to decorate next:

The Bar

I love this room - it's going to be the showcase of the apartment because I love my bar. The theme is Victorian Hong Kong... that is to say, an exciting blend of AZN design and wrought iron candelabras that I have come to love with all my inner Goth. The color theme is black and red. And now, the bar will be a bar/dining room.

- Black or Burgundy Velvet (flat textured, not crushed velvet), enough for a voluminous looking new set of curtains. I'm envisioning maybe looking for stage curtain material - it's got that same look but it might not be as expensive.

- Black sheer fabric (also for the curtains)

- Bar stools (dark brown wood)

- A bamboo & iron fountain will go in the corner just beside the DJ alcove that Kilean has claimed for his equipment. This is where the dining table will go.

- Bob's sofa is going in this room with some AZN throw pillows. Moving it to the living room

- The Liquor Fairy series of illustrations will hang matted in frames around my bar. I've decided that the Liquor Fairy series, rather than being wholly impersonal, will be a series of illustrations featuring some of my good looking friends and their favorite liquors. Feel free to send me your name, a link to a photo of you, and a liquor of choice.

- A half-height handpainted asian curtain will be installed in the kitchen doorway. Hey look, store-bought no-ren.

- A thick black curtain will hang in the archway between the bar and the living room (this is why I'm looking into stage curtain material)

- I still have to figure out what to do with the corner of the room closest to the kitchen and the Blackberry Bathroom. Suggestions are welcome. I like swords.

The Living Room

The theme of this room is Medieval Hunting Lodge - in order to justify all the heathenous drinking we do in the company of a 12 pack of Gritty's.

- The Soporific Futon is in this room (and will have fold-out capabilities once I get the screws from Nick)

- A couple sheepskins will be on the floor in front of the fireplace

- Bob's sofa is moving in here.

The Kitchen

Thanks to Tom's Fabuluth Interior Decorating Skillth, I'm finally tackling the kitchen. We're getting rid of the patio table since it's just piling up junk (hey Nick, you can have my patio furniture for free!). It's nice, but we've never used it for its intended purpose in the year we've had it. To be replaced with a kitchen prep island with butcher-block or wooden top. No more prep on that shitty-ass drywall-texture countertop that traps dirt and sauce.

Retrieved from "http://wiki.utter-chaos.net/ucwiki/index.php?title=Ubernerd%27s_All-Purpose_Wish_List&oldid=10561"