Difference between revisions of "Talk:My Fearsome Craps"
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'''August 1 curry entry:''' Interesting juxtaposition of 'Good lord' vs 'satanic' farts. Use of Ball Park brand name adds flavor, good use of adjectives for shape and configuration. Nostradamus closing is strong. Little relation drawn between curry theme and bowel movement. 7.8 for style, 6.0 for background and content. --[[User:Ratri|Ratri]] 21:27, 2 Aug 2006 (EST) | '''August 1 curry entry:''' Interesting juxtaposition of 'Good lord' vs 'satanic' farts. Use of Ball Park brand name adds flavor, good use of adjectives for shape and configuration. Nostradamus closing is strong. Little relation drawn between curry theme and bowel movement. 7.8 for style, 6.0 for background and content. --[[User:Ratri|Ratri]] 21:27, 2 Aug 2006 (EST) | ||
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| + | Obviously you should invest in a tiny digital camera that you can cary on your belt (like I do) so that you can provide photographic documentation along with your graphic descriptions. Of course one might claim that this would take away something from your writing. At the very least, you could just keep the photos to show as proof of your experience upon request. --[[User:Nybble|Nybble]] 22:27, 2 Aug 2006 (EST) | ||
Revision as of 23:27, 2 August 2006
I endorse this page! -Zahnnie 16:30, 24 May 2006 (EST)
May 31 Steak Fart entry: 8.0 for style, 7.5 for background and content --Ratri 10:54, 31 May 2006 (EST)
June 6 Coffeemaker entry: Slow start. "Splattering shrapnel-shits" has an interesting alliteration to it. Overuse of the verb "pinch" can detract at times. Closing imagery is powerful and compelling. 8.3 for style, 7.8 for background and content. --Ratri 21:00, 7 Jun 2006 (EST)
June 7 Stress entry: Cannon metaphor reminiscent of previous entry's artillery imagery. Background is brief but comprehensive; not enough content details. 7.0 for style, 6.0 for background and content. --Ratri 21:00, 7 Jun 2006 (EST)
Pie for our judge. I think the commentary really adds, er, "something" to it. :) -Zahnnie 10:13, 8 Jun 2006 (EST)
Just so long as the pie doesn't end up "adding something"... in poo form. --Caryatid 07:46, 9 Jun 2006 (EST)
It's a whole new take on mud pie. Perhaps something in the realm of delicious chocolate pudding. --Aurora 09:58, 9 Jun 2006 (EST)
Not really enough for a story, but I took a crap just now. Did you know that Classico pesto-from-a-jar makes your dung smell just like Classico pesto-from-a-jar? The restroom smelled like an Italian dinner! And it was all still warm. I just thought you all should know. --Ubernerd 08:33, 16 Jun 2006 (EST)
Weird, I wonder if my homemade pesto does the same. I need to make more of that! -Zahnnie 09:16, 16 Jun 2006 (EST)
My bathroom adventures today (just now, in fact) involved a phenomena that happens far to frequently to me: Pooplets. Like, little mini shits that remind me far to much of M&Ms (this might explain why I don't like that particular type of candy.) They're just not as satisfying as pumping out a long, wholesome turd. - Aurora 14:15, 16 Jun 2006 (EST)
I like the phrasing there of "pumping out a turd". I think I'll go do that right now!-Zahnnie 14:50, 16 Jun 2006 (EST)
Green Poop? Been there done that. One time I had green poop for a 4 days straight. I'm not really sure what the deal was. I don't recall eating differently than normal. --Nybble 20:32, 19 Jun 2006 (EST)
I pooped green once, too. The only thing I could connect it to was some neon blue ice cream I'd had, so maybe the food coloring. I was a bit shocked. It was good ice cream though, but I'd had a lot of it. Hee. - Aurora 21:52, 19 Jun 2006 (EST)
I remember that!!! Too bad the Scooper Bowl this year was rained all through... -Zahnnie 10:43, 22 Jun 2006 (EST)
Bah! This was totally a different time with blue ice cream. 1997, actually, at Clarkson. So neener! - Aurora 14:10, 22 Jun 2006 (EST)
June 19 Green poop entry: Eye-catching opener, straight to the nitty-gritty. Odd mixtures of emphasis ("shouting" and asterisks). Chocolate starfish image and kingdom for a wet-wipe reference deliver a solid ending. Could use more details, such as consistency or shape details (snake metaphor does give a basic shape), aroma, description of the actual extrusion from the bowels. 7.4 for style, 6.0 for background and content. --Ratri 08:43, 25 Jun 2006 (EST)
June 26 coffee-poo entry: "Flatulent dissonance of an epic scale" provides a powerful metaphor and unexpected pun. The "sharp and terrifying" description is clear and concise. Sentence structure is choppy at times. 7.2 for style, 6.8 for background and content. --Ratri 14:27, 10 Jul 2006 (EST)
June 26 Medusa entry: Good continuity between Medusa myth and Herculean flush. Excellent detail for scent, also providing good background. 'Squeeze-and-plop' repetition delivers a palpable onomatopoeia. Sentence structure supports fecal detail, as it moves from long and flowing to short and choppy. Discussion of color is brief and consistency is only alluded to. 8.2 for style, 7.5 for background and content. --Ratri 14:27, 10 Jul 2006 (EST)
August 1 curry entry: Interesting juxtaposition of 'Good lord' vs 'satanic' farts. Use of Ball Park brand name adds flavor, good use of adjectives for shape and configuration. Nostradamus closing is strong. Little relation drawn between curry theme and bowel movement. 7.8 for style, 6.0 for background and content. --Ratri 21:27, 2 Aug 2006 (EST)
Obviously you should invest in a tiny digital camera that you can cary on your belt (like I do) so that you can provide photographic documentation along with your graphic descriptions. Of course one might claim that this would take away something from your writing. At the very least, you could just keep the photos to show as proof of your experience upon request. --Nybble 22:27, 2 Aug 2006 (EST)
