The Ghetto Gourmet

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Welcome to The Ghetto Gourmet; a repository for the recipes that require quantifiable measurements I actually need to look up... and then some experimental stuff in development.

BUT BEFORE YOU BEGIN, click here

The recipes denoted with an asterisk (*) are considered "Recipes for the Extra Ghetto" and people with little time/skill to devote to preparing healthy meals.

Per a recent request, I've added a section for Zahnnie (who played a part in The Ghetto Gourmet through the college years) called "Zahnnie's High-Fallutin' Fancy-Pants Cookin' Section" which is where her collection of "recipes made to impress people" is located. Zahnnie's specialty is Moroccan cuisine, and she likes to cook things in her vagine tagine.

Savory Food

Homemade Gyoza and Wontons*

Miso Soup*

Ghetto-Fantastic Ramen*

Fried Rice*

Chicken Pot Pie From Scratch

Rosemary and Honey Salmon*

Beef with Barley Soup*

Chicken Soup/Plague Remedy*

Spicy Ravioli Soup*

Rice Porridge/Pukes And Shits Remedy*

"Porchetta Italiana" - Dirty Eye-talian Style Pork Loin

Eggplant Parmesan

Bruschetta with Salted Tomatoes*

Shredded "Hash Brown" Potato Pile*

Matar Paneer

Paneer Korma

Kickass Homemade Malaysian Lamb Curry

Malaysian Chicken Curry that I Made While In AZ

Improvements on Asian Home Gourmet's Laksa Recipe

That Tasty Pot Roast That I Threw Up Behind Jim's Tent During The 2007 GNE War

Moroccan-Spiced Stuffed Mushrooms*

Salmon in a Puff Pastry Shell*

Cheese 'Tatoes*

Ghetto Cheese Ravioli with Chicken and Pesto Sauce*

Ghetto Wonton-Noodle Soup*

Creamy Carrot Soup

Coconut Chicken Soup

Ginger and Scallion Steamed Fish

Ghetto-Fabulous Ma Po Tofu

Tea Eggs

"Funky Chinese Herb" Stew

Toss*

Why-I-Am-Going-To-Hell Spinach

Bill of Larder from the 2008 GNE War, Courtesy of Vance, Thunder Mountain's Favorite Camp Cookie

Creamy Vegetable-Rice Soup/Fake Risotto

Tasty Nasi Goreng made with Bamboe's Nasi Goreng spices

Penang Curry with Basil

Daikon Cake

Heavenly Ghettalian Spaghetti Sauce

See Krong Tord Gratium (Thai style Pork Spareribs with Crispy Garlic and Pepper)

Takrite Goong (Lemongrass Sticks with Minced Chicken, Prawns, and Pork)

Salmon and Spinach Quiche (aka "Quiche So Good, She'll Pretty Much Have To Put Out")

Ghetto-Fabulous Spicy Tuna a la Waldrop*

Panko-Breaded Fish with Ginger Sauce

Black Bean Sauce Pork Roast, Courtesy of Marti

Flippin' Sweet Spinach Dip

Chicken and Corn Risotto (warning: not for cooks who are ADD)

Thai Pickles

Dessert

Pie Crust

Blackberry-Blueberry Pie

Apple Pie

Peach Pie with Star Anise

Ginger Ice Cream

Basil Ice Cream

Krapp (Flambe)

Dark Chocolate Cake

Litterbox Cake

Emme's Rum Balls

Arschwein-Cookies

Father-Hating-and-Shame Cookies

Goth-Flavored Banana Bread

The Best Carrot Cake Ever, According to Two California Hippies

Sun-Ripened Mixed New Galen Field Browns

Bienenstich

Pandan-Banana Cake

Delicious Fiber Bomb Bars*

Hilary's Plum Torte

Drinkies

Arschwein Beta Version

Arschwein Version 1.0

"Djarum Black" Mead Beta Version

The Award-Winning Gargamel

Tears of Baby Jesus

Rear of Baby Jesus

Amaretto Smoothie

Official Recipe for a Lady DiSaronno

Dirty Hippie Blackberry-Mango Smoothie

How-I-Got-Registered-To-Vote-In-Cambridge Smoothie

Vegan-Friendly Version of the How-I-Got-Registered-To-Vote-In-Cambridge Smoothie

Coconut-Pandan Daiquiri (Creamy and yet dairy-free! For those of you who don't want your lactose intolerance flaring up and adding to the morning-after beer shits.)

Eggnog (Johnson Family Recipe)

Roger's Appletinis

Spiced Pear

Misc

Awesome Fake Satay Sauce

Mutie's Honey Butter Recipe

"Special Sauce"

Guacamole

Tzatziki

Extra-salty Soy-Garlic Marinade

Extra-salty Soy-Ginger Marinade

Creamy Fake Vomit

How To Make a Bacon Candle

Oatmeal-Raisin Cardboard

Zahnnie's High-Fallutin' Fancy-Pants Cookin' Section

With the recipes that follow, you will be able to easily convince your family and friends that you are a totally awesome cook, when in fact you're just making it up as you go. Never reveal this crucial secret.

Baked Potato Soup so good you just may cream your pants.

Moroccan Lamb Tagine

Homemade Gnocchi

Sausage and Leek Ragu to go with the gnocchis. Mmm.

Sausage and Leek Soup inspired by the ragu. For the crockpot for extra laziness!

Boozesicles made especially by the lovely Zahnnie for Ubernerd's Tarts 'n Vicars/Good-Decisions party