Hub Quotes

• “As well, the Illthids have proven their treachery yet again.” - Drow High Priestess. “Takes one to know one.” - Chadius. “Wait, let me find my surprised face.” - Chmrr. Chadius makes shocked face.

• “Are they going to tell us something we don’t know? I’m getting bored.” Gwen, quietly to Elly during an important meeting.

• “Since you seem to be one of the more effective groups in getting things done.” - Drow High Priestess. “Was that a compliment?” - Gwen, whispering again. “I don’t know.” - Elly.

• “Then we will not detain you any longer.” - Shathûr. “Get the fuck out.” - Chadius.

• “The priestess doesn’t want to sully her tongue by speaking your language, so I will speak.” - Ryurn. “Well, I can think of better ways to sully my tongue than talking. Oops! Inside voice!” -Gwen.

• “Do we have any vials of holy water lying around?” - Aurora. “Nope. I should make some.” - Chmrr. “Do you have a priest and some condoms?” - Ardonite.

• “Kill it! Kill it Cub! Kill it! It gets eaten by a giant cat!” - Nybble. “Cub inflicts 32 points of damage.” - Ratri.

• “Gonna drag him off the road, so no one finds him out of the blue. Y’know ‘doot-doot-doot-doo-doo, Holy Shnoinkus!’” -Ratri.

• “Hang on, I need to go answer my sword” - Asterix.

• “He wasn’t really speaking very straight.” - Asterix. “Was this after the glowy thing?” - Gwen. “Yes.” - Asterix. “Ah, well, that may be it then. Glowing takes a lot out of you.” - Gwen.

• "No no no, it's fuck your mother, upside down." - Nachta teaching Elly how to swear in Drow. "Ohhh, in Elven we say fuck your mother..." - Elly teaching Elven back.

• "SOMEBODY HAS THIS PROBLEM WITH SHOVING A SWORD THROUGH NIGEL'S BODY!" - Ratri, yelling at Nybble, who was hiding behind a book.

• "I know what I want to cast. Wish." - Aurora. "Oh, imagine if that went wrong." - Ratri. "No, I mean, she'd age 5 years. 13 to 18 in one shot." - Aurora. "Heh. She would have no idea how to deal with the hormones." - Ratri. "'Poof. Somebody do me now!'" - Zahnnie. "Heh. 'Did it succeed? Yeah? Wow, I wish I had a boyfriend right now. Poof. Nice. C'mere honey.' 'Congratulations, you're now an ... archmage...' 'Yeah, whatever. Do I get my own room? Good. Let's go.'" - Aurora.

• "Does Meteor Swarm count as a Dragon Slave?" - Nybble.

• "I will eat your nuts." - Gwen.

• "Is it evil?" - Nybble. "Yes." - Morrigu. "Ok, I'm going to ... Attack The Darkness!" - Nybble. The room falls over laughing. "You know that's the entire reason for this combat." - Aurora. "Too bad Elly isn't here to cast Magic Missile!" - Ratri.

• "Hey, does anyone want a Mountain Dew? Or some Cheetos?" - Zahnnie. "I don't think we have any." - Nybble. "Well, there's only one way to find out, and that's to cast Locate Cheetos. It locates any cheetos in a 5 mile radius." - Zahnnie.

• "Wait, that doesn't say Hallmark... that says Hellmark!" - Nybble.

• "Yeah, he said Hi to the Mistress." - Nachta. "Does that mean me?" Elly. "Well, it's not my Mom, so it must be you." - Nachta.

• (On the topic of Elly's want for a boyfriend) "So, there are no boy bands in the Hub, right?" -Aurora.

• "Suddenly, the mirror goes black." - Morrigu. "Yeah, he put it back into his pants." - Aurora. "Suddenly, you see this enormous black penis!" - Zahnnie. "Heh. You see some curly white hair." - Morrigu.

• It's raining
  It's pouring
  The ladies
  Are warring
  Gods are Dead
  I'm in bed
  We'll all be back in mourning.
  -Pussich

• "Jesus, Gwen, you're cutting glass over there." - Nachta.

• "Her mom tried to get her to wear the skimpy leather outfits..." - Zahnnie, about Nachta. "Haha, but she brought her normal clothes with her and changed once she left the house!" - Aurora. "Just like a teenager..." - Zahnnie. "Young lady, you are not leaving this house dressed like that! I can't even see your cleavage!" - Aurora. "But moooooooom!" - Zahnnie.

• "Iii'm supppposeed to beee exxxxotherrrmiiic." - Shathûr. "Hell has frozen over." - Ratri.

• "Hi. I failed my save vs. spell." - Ratri answering the phone.

• "I don't like being unconcious. I can't say rude things." - Zahnnie.

• "I'm gonna go check out the dragonsh. 'Caush they're waiting for ush." - Shathûr. "You're not quite that drunk." - Morrigu. "It's more fun this way." - Chmrr.

• "Aaaaaaah!" - Stylus. "It was gonna eat us!" - Nachta, as they're fleeing from dragonfear. "We run back to the house. I bust into the basement, sit in the corner, and cast darkness on myself." - Zahnnie.

• "Bill is not dodging. Bill is jumping. Oh yeah! Over the cart!" - Morrigu. "Asterix is hanging on for dear life." - Aurora. "I make a ride check. Yes!" - Nybble.

• "You get to the temple and Bill comes to a quick stop, stands tall and looks noble." - Morrigu. "Let's see if I hold on." <rolls> "Nope. I faceplant in the mud." - Nybble.

• "You hear an omniprescent voice." - Morrigu. "Braaaaap." - Zahnnie.

• "Physics stops working as you get towards the donut." - Aurora. "It's a donut of doom." - Chadius

• "Maybe squidface is a girl." - Nachta. "I mean, honestly, under all those tentacles, how would you tell?" - Gwen.

• "So, who made the perception check. Gwen? Is Gwen the only one??" - Morrigu. "Revenge is sweet!" - Ratri

• "G. I. Drooooooow." - Chadius. "The new underdark hero!" - Zahnnie, Nybble in synch. "They fight Squidface Commander." - Chadius.

• "The god of holding shit together has ADD." - Ratri.

• "So just roll really low, right?" - Aurora. "Yeah." - Morrigu. Aurora rolls. "How 'bout a 1?" - Aurora.

• "She doesn't care about gods. They're not that powerful." - Elly

• "Will strip for AC." - Chmrr.

• "My usual state is uncertain." - Nybble. "You have Heisenburg's HP." - Rykilde.

• "You've got a broken foot and a broken hand." - Morrigu. "Ok." - Chadius. "You're still fighting, aren't you?" - Aurora. "Oh, yeah. He might stop when he has to resort to headbutts." - Chadius.

• "I can still dodge on one foot, bitch. Pirouette!" - Chadius.

• "You are currently pinned." - Morrigu. "Luckily I have this stone shape to unpin me." - Chmrr.

• "Did Pussich roll initiative? I want to know when he shits himself." - Ratri

• "It's like 'Oh! Now I know what my victims feel like." - Aurora. "I have officially ass-raped the tentacle-monster." - Ratri.

• "Someone restrain Gwen. She has too much of a mommying instinct and is going to cuddle the god." - Ratri. "It's ok. The squid is gone." - Gwen to Pussich, hugging him.

• "My god will send you the bill." - Chmrr.

• "My ass hurts." - Chmrr.

• "That's a really big parasite. Where does it go? No, I don't want to know!" - Gwen.

• "Damn Squid Commander." - Chadius. "Squid-lalalalalalalala!" - Zahnnie.

• "Look how big my paladin is." - Ratri. "I see the mini doesn't apply to everything." - Aurora. "Zip. Bump bump bump ... bump ... bump." - Zahnnie.

• "I'm asking after the health of my mistress." - Nachta. "Wait, Nachta has a mistress?" - Stylus.

• "What do you want?" - Pussich. "Do I have to roll a wis check?" - Ratri. "Yes." - Morrigu. "Is Pussich cute?" - Ratri. "Yes." - Morrigu. "I rolled an 18." - Ratri. "So what do you want?" - Pussich. "Dinner and a movie?" - Gwen. "With who?" - Pussich, blushing. "Uhm, you?" - Gwen. Pussich looks at Asterix. "I'll get her home by midnight."

• "Illithid Nuke Bomb. Kills all Illithid in a 50 mile radius." - Chadius

• "I'd prefer that this message not go through two deities. 'Uhm, excuse me, could you pass this message on to Pussich's paladin? And while you're there, can you check if I left the kettle on?'" - Chmrr

• "That would change history. Suddenly Nachta's a priestess, and Shathûr is an angel." - Morrigu. "And I'm a bard!" - Nybble.

• "He walks off, still panting." - Morrigu. "You should give him a tip." - Nybble. "You might want to get more exercise. Only 30 minutes a day!" - Gwen. "That's not what I meant by a tip!" - Nybble.

• "Is this all in Drow?" - Ratri. "Yes." - Zahnnie. "I hear brahshajradgrada Krie Jafah! Drow Krie!" - Ratri.

• "Obviously, we just need to give them a bunch of laxatives so then they can't be all constipated and power up." - Ratri.

• "Nachta has drow bling!" - Zahnnie "I notice your drow bling." - Chmrr

• "Please keep your hands and arms inside the dragon at all times." - Ratri.

• "In the event of a water landing, we'll find out if dragons float." - Kit.

" "Time flies like an arrow, dragon flies like wind." - Ratri.

• Stylus and Nachta from the back of Flora, the silver dragon: "Whoooooooo!"